Am I the only one flabbergasted that “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters,” is Number 1 at the box office right now? I still haven’t watched it yet, but I’ve heard from several colleagues that it’s terrible, and not in the awesomely bad way. Did you like the film? Leave me a comment telling me why you enjoyed it so much. Maybe you’ll convince me to give it a shot.  

I’m quite sad by how hard Arnold’s comeback film “The Last Stand” is tanking at the box office. I know a lot of people have written him off as an action hero; however I urge them to give this movie a chance. It’s not a masterpiece or even one of the all-time great Arnold flicks, although it has a fun villain, some excellent action, and it’s beautifully directed by Jee-woon Kim. Plus Arnold takes a grounded approach to the role and scales back his physicality to age-appropriate levels. My Grade: B  

This week’s column has my reviews of the horror comedy “Warm Bodies” and the Stallone action picture “Bullet to the Head.” Which one do you think I liked better considering that I love zombies? You might be surprised. Read on my friends.


R (Nicholas Hoult) is a highly unusual zombie. His thoughts and his remorse about eating human flesh lead him to save Julie (Teresa Palmer) from being attacked by a group of hungry zombies. R’s act of kindness sets in motion a series of events that will irrevocably alter their post-apocalyptic world.  

Director/Writer: Jonathan Levine (“50/50,” “The Wackness”)

Based On: The young adult book Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

Notable Supporting Actors: John Malkovich, Rob Corddry, Dave Franco, Analeigh Tipton

MY TAKE: I never read Isaac Marion’s book Warm Bodies prior to seeing Jonathan Levine’s big screen adaptation, but as a certified zombiephile, I expected to love every moment of the horror comedy. So why didn’t I?

An initial thought was that trailers spoiled the funniest jokes. While they might have affected me slightly, I don’t believe lack of surprise alone turned me off. Another idea was that I was too old to dig the humor, since the majority of the audience in my theater, which seemed to be in the 18 – 22 year-old range, thought the movie was a riot, while I only let out a couple of chuckles. Then I realized, if age has anything to do with why I didn’t care for “Warm Bodies,” it’s merely that I have more film watching experience. Through my cinematic adventures I’ve already discovered better zombie comedies like “Night of the Creeps,” “Dead Snow,” “Dead Heat,” “Zombieland,” “Shaun of the Dead,” and “Fido.” These were the films I was using as my gold standard, and “Warm Bodies” just didn’t measure up.

I don’t want to be too harsh, because didn’t completely hate the movie. It has some decent qualities, like the tale's fresh approach to zombies as beings. The undead in "Warm Bodies" live as two different species. There are corpses, which are traditional zombies, except they've retained their thoughts and rudimentary speech. Corpses eat brains only out of necessity. Also there are bonies, uncaring snarling skeletal creatures who only want to eat flesh. As expected, the two groups eventually come to blows over their differences. I just wish the film went into further depth though about the dynamics between the corpses and the bonies to explain how they managed to coexist prior to their conflict.

In "Warm Bodies," regular zombies thankfully aren't completely beyond repair; the power of love can help turn them back into functional members of society. The concept that human love could physically transform undead creatures feels silly and dangerously close to sappy Twilight territory, but science can be damned in a horror comedy.

The most annoying part of the flick for me was R’s constant narration. He talks a lot, which is amusing, because how often do you get to know what zombies are thinking? Since his lines have a very stream of consciousness feel, they’re not very witty. They seem. Like. A lot. Of. Simple. Short sentences. This style of speech may be humorous to mumblecore hipsters, but I couldn't get into it. Another obnoxious aspect of "Warm Bodies" is its waste of a talented actor like John Malkovich on a throwaway character. He's not in the movie a whole lot, which almost makes his top billing false advertising. He's forced to play Julie’s cookie cutter closed minded father, who just can't believe that R or any other corpses can change. What a shame.

At least there is a ton of great music in the film. R is a vinyl enthusiast so you get to hear a lot of classic tunes. Unfortunately those songs are tackily integrated, ruining what could have been fantastic ambiance in several places. The lead actor Nicholas Hoult is amusing and charming as R, and he has decent chemistry with Teresa Palmer, something that makes the film easier to watch.

“Warm Bodies” isn’t a terrible horror comedy, just a mediocre one that squanders a fresh premise with lackluster humor that's likely to amuse hipsters and inexperienced viewers of the zombie genre.  

My Grade:  C