Previously on V, Ryan's girlfriend figured out he's not who he said he is, Tyler found out he may not be his father's son after all, and Father Hotness asked Chad Decker to not be such a Machiavellian jerk. John May turned out to be Sam Anders (Michael Trucco from Battlestar Galactica), Anna gave birth to creepy soldier egg babies, and Ryan apparently killed him. Or not? Who knows.

Erica swears up and down that she was only with Tyler's father, so she has no idea how the DNA doesn't match, and this sounds like a fun mystery they'll hopefully answer soon. Could he be the first V-Human hybrid and Erica never knew about it? She seems to be telling the truth, but you never can tell with her. Tyler is angry and says he's just going to go hang with the V's for awhile. Ryan's freaking out from personal problems himself because Valerie ran away. He asks Erica for help in finding her, and the whole group now knows that she's pregnant with a hybrid baby. They have other concerns, however, because someone is going around killing Fifth Column members. Erica is called in as an FBI agent to look for the 'terrorist' members, but she's trying to find them so she can help them.

A break comes in the form of an old man who sets them on the path of his son Alex, and Father Hotness agrees to find the boy (an innocent schoolteacher) and protect him. However badass Kyle has a different idea: use the guy as bait so they can trap the assassin. The others are slowly getting hardened to their task as defenders of humanity, and Alex agrees to be bait to help them out. Instead he panics when the assassin starts shooting at him and runs, which inevitably leads to a big old bullet in his back. Father Hotness is heartbroken and gets all angry, acting very unlike a priest when he shoots the assassin to help bring him down. Then he kind of stands by as Kyle starts to wake the guy up and will no doubt be torturing him. The real concern is the assassin is a human, not a V. Cue everyone looked shocked and upset. "Why?" Erica asks, and the man responds with the title of this episode: "We can't win."

Anna goes to a peace conference with Decker, and he has some naughty dreams about her. It's sexy and creepy because she ends up strangling him to death, albeit when he's very naked. The Secretary General is not buying her peace BS, and he does not welcome Anna to the conference. When a calamity happens on an island, the V's rush to fix it for everyone to prove their helpful nature. The leaders of the world open up to the V's and in exchange they get new technology which seems to be just a very fancy lightshow. Decker calls Anna on not really being a visitor, and that she might be planning to stay. She spins more of her webs around him and asks sweetly if he trusts her. His expression says no, but his libido probably says 'sure, why not.'

It looks like Lisa is actually falling for Tyler (really?) because she fails the empathy test that Joshua gives her. He is supposed to report and kill everyone who fails it, but he decides to tell Anna she passed and gain a blackmail favor out of her. Lisa's just happy to be alive. Meanwhile Ryan finally gets a hold of Valerie: she went to a Visitor Center! The doctor sees the baby and freaks out, threatening her, but Ryan gets there in time to kill him and take Valerie away. This is not going to be good for either of them, though, because the scan was more definitely done with the V technology before he busted in. That means Anna will no doubt get a hold of it, and they're going to want that baby. Now I bet you wish you'd given him a chance to explain, right Valerie?

V is on ABC Tuesday nights at 10 PM EST.

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