"Under the Dome" is not an intelligent TV show. It's really just cartoon characters being mashed together in a way that almost makes sense, so long as you don't think too hard. And that's exactly what we got with the second season premiere, "Heads Will Roll."

We pick up right where season one left off- our intrepid anti-hero Barbie is about to suffer a brutal execution by hanging, when the dome gets mad and starts to glow...

Now we know just what that angry dome-glow was. Magnets! Also, a sound not unlike a high school fire alarm, but mostly magnets. Now, you're probably saying to yourself, "hey, magnets are neither exciting nor particularly frightening," and you'd be right. Which is why the opening sequence of Barbie being pulled extremely slowly towards the dome by his handcuffs, is almost laughably tension free. Will he touch the dome? Does it really matter?

And then suddenly there's an SUV hurtling towards him and we're all going to die!

With this sudden and ridiculous jump from "not dangerous at all" to "holy crap death is upon us," we suffer season two's first major character death: town sheriff Linda. Sorry Linda, but season two means business, and someone important had to get smushed between dome and SUV to prove that point. Don't worry, though, you'll be back before long, as a hallucination or a ghost or something new the dome hasn't come up with yet.

From here, "Heads Will Roll" splits into three separate parts.

First is the saga of Barbie and newcomer Rebecca Pine (Karla Crome) a high school science teacher with the specific magnet knowledge needed to keep Chester's Mill intact for at least another week. Which she does, with the help of a few of the town's wayward teen mystics and an improbable amount of copper wire. And if this whole sequence reminded you a little too much of "Breaking Bad"- a miraculous science cure thought up at the last minute that works perfectly- you're not the only one.

Plus, we even learn a little science to top us off. Electromagnetic pulses can cause fainting and death, and often mirror the rhythms of a pregnant woman giving birth. It is extremely unclear if this is real science.

Along with "Breaking Bad," this bit also smacks of Stephen King. Which it absolutely should, given that King penned the screenplay for this episode. Now, all those scenes of "it's a stove... that kills people!" and "it's a wayward piece of aluminum siding... that kills people!" make so much more sense.

King has also been living in Chester's Mill the whole time, apparently. You'd think he'd know something or two about the dome and try to help, but he doesn't. He's content to let the mass killings continue.