'Two And A Half Men' Recap - The War Against Gingivitis
When Walden has a dental floss emergency, it turns out that Alan is ‘a soldier in the war against gingivitis,’ with pockets full of a tasty selection, including cinnamon.
Bridget video calls Walden to let him know that his ex-partner, Billy, called about a business proposition. Apparently the last venture that involved Walden and Billy ended so painfully that even the mention of Billy’s name causes Walden’s eyes to start twitching, and drives him to scream into the night.
In their last partnership, Walden sold their computer idea for billions. But Billy didn’t want to sell, so he posted a series of videos on YouTube, mocking Walden’s looks, calling him a giant sellout and douche, and then creating a number of ‘ass talking’ videos. Walden, understandably, is not a fan of this series.
Walden can’t understand why Billy is still angry, after the partnership made them both billions of dollars. Alan certainly can’t understand that concept either. In fact, Alan would gladly lick Walden from head to toe if he’d just throw him a couple of million.
Billy shows up at the door of the Beach House. Walden slams the door in his face. Alan, however, lets Billy into the house on the strength of a new billion dollar idea that Billy claims can only move forward with Walden’s help – and a $50.00 bribe.
Walden’s intrigued to hear that Billy has figured out the ‘electric suitcase’ proposition, even if he still needs Walden to write the code. Billy blames Class A narcotics and psychotic jealousy on their falling out, but has a problem with apologizing for his YouTube antics. Jake wanders into the melee as Billy, Walden and Alan scrabble on the couch, saying, “I’m getting too old for this crap” and then wanders out again.
Alan brokers a tentative peace between the two, and they get down to work. Alan’s then saddened to discover that Walden’s friendship with Billy supersedes their current friendship. He reaches out to the only person with whom he feels he has a longer term friendship – the supposedly sick and not working Berta. Unfortunately, she doesn’t feel the same, and uses him as a messenger boy to complete a drug deal. Alan winds up fleeing for his life as shots fire around him.
Back home, Walden and Billy are so competitive that they won’t even take a pee break unless the other does. They eventually wind up relieving themselves over the Beach House balcony together. Unfortunately, that’s also when Billy lets Walden know that he’s sleeping with Bridget.
When Alan gets back home, he’s sporting a large stain on the front of his trousers. Both Walden and Billy are finalizing their program, wearing robes. Walden beta tests the software, first shutting off the power to the Beach House, Florida, Canada, and finally – the master switch – the entire United States. “Awesome!” crows Walden.