But he’s so lovable! HBO’s Game of Thrones is back with a new season and many complications threatening some of our beloved characters. Like our favorite member of the Night’s Watch, Samuell Tarley, who might soon be meeting his end in a horrifying way. Sure, it’s kind of a miracle that Sam is still alive what with his complete lack of physical prowess, but he has definitely become a likable and sympathetic character and one of the better aspects of the Night’s Watch/North segments of the series. Let’s face it Jon Snow ain’t that engaging, he is whiny and knows nothing, whereas Sam knows a lot cuz he’s spent most of his life reading about everything and I mean, according to Gilly, he’s a wizard so he has that going for him.

However, the arrival of the wildling group known as the Thenns to the stage brings down his chances of further survival considerably. These dudes are creepy and scary and intimidating, oh, and also really into cannibalism, and also awaiting orders to ambush Castle Black, where Sam is. You get where this is going. And the Thenns are super enthusiastic about eating people south of the wall, their leader, Styr, lets us know in his brief monologue:

“Why does the meat down here taste so much better than in our side of the wall? Maybe everything is just better fed down here, fat and lazy, easier for us… Too scrawny, not like those crows at Castle Black. Think of them… stuffing their faces with ham and blood sausage and stew, getting nice and fat and marbled...”

Tilt down to reveal a human arm roasting in the fire, yum. These guys should really take a couple of pointers from Hannibal’s Dr. Lecter because that does not look appetizing whatsoever. C’mon guys, you could do better. Also the arm they are preparing is quite skinny looking, can you imagine what their reaction will be if they ever set their eyes on plump Sam?


That seems like the appropriate response, they won’t be able to help themselves. Sam would make the feast to end all cannibal feasts, he is the kobe beef of people and there is a lot of meat to go around.

Just because Sam is the quintessential cannibal’s wet dream doesn’t mean that he will positively get eaten. But the editing definitely seems to suggest that it might happen. Immediately following the roasting arm reveal the show cuts to Sam walking through Castle Black looking all kinds of meaty and delicious. No doubt, that is a conspicuously suggestive editing choice. Are the writers/produces having some fun and playing with us into thinking Sam might soon become wildling grub, or is this a legitimate moment of foreshadowing?

As much as I want to see Sam and Gilly live happily ever after, that doesn’t seem like a likely ending for any character in this series. I suspect every character will meet a grizzly and horrible end. And Sam being feasted upon by the Thenns would be disturbingly appropriate for Game of Thrones. Also, his death would provide some character motivation for Jon (God knows he needs it) and would raise the stakes for the Night’s Watch and the action in the North in general. So, I call that poor, sweet Sam will become Thenns food.

What do you think?

Reminder: I have not read the “A Song of Ice and Fire” book series past the second book (I’m very slowly making my way though them) so all my musings/predictions are totally wild and unfounded speculation and probably completely wrong. Tell me how wrong I am in the comments section.