Here it is, the highly anticipated finale of "True Blood" season two. It has been a crazy season, and the show has managed to reach new heights with its excellent stories about Godric, the Fellowship of the Sun, the sweet love with Jessica and Hoyt, and Maryann's descent into madness with the town coming along. It is really time for that psycho maenad to be moving on, don't you think? Just like last season, it is time for surprising alliances to be made and a cliffhanger to keep us waiting for next season. Let's get started!

Bill returns to Bon Temps having gotten the information he needed out of the Queen. Apparently Maryann has to believe her God has come to kill her, and that means Sam needs to be the sacrificial lamb to get it done. Meanwhile, crazy creepy Maryann is in Gran's wedding dress (!) and Sookie is to be her maid of honor. Because when Dionysis comes down he is totally going to marry her; aw, those crazy kids. She asks Sookie to burn her again, and says Sookie is definitely not human. Or at least not just human. At first this made me think that Jason would be impervious to Maryann as well, but this turns out to be untrue since he and Andy get turned into zombies. It was disappointing.

So the zombies are all dancing around the house, but at least wearing clothes this time. Lafayette is now Maryann's bridesmaid (hee!), and the giant egg from last episode is just an added sacrifice to Dionysis. They are waiting for Sam. Bill helps out with that, bringing Sam in and handing him over to be sacrificed. Nice vampire. Sookie is freaking out, showing more emotion toward Sam than ever, which is bittersweet since once this is over she'll go back to going 'meh' at him whenever he is loving and nice. Eggs stabs Sam, a mortal wound, and the audience GASPS! Bill tells Sookie to use her powers, and she hears Sam weakly tell her to destroy everything. She knocks over the altar of meat Maryann made and breaks the egg.

Maryann's not really happy about her wedding being destroyed - immortal bridezilla alert! - and starts killing everyone. She thinks this mass sacrifice will make it all better. Then she's like 'or I could chase Sookie through the woods, much better idea.' This sets a scene up nicely for a beautiful white bull coming out of the woods. Maryann thinks this is Dionysis - the bull was his favorite form - and she is delighted enough to turn semi-mortal. Then the bull gores her right through her heart, and she sadly asks if there was ever a God before the bull turns into Sam and he's holding her heart. Bad. Ass. I've wanted Sam to pick up his paws and do something for weeks now, and this was enormously satisfying. It turns out that Bill gave Sam his blood so he could heal, and they made this plan together.

Wait, does this mean Sam will now have sex dreams about Bill? Can we actually see some of those, because it would be hilarious!

So Maryann is dead and everyone's trying to figure out what happened. Hoyt realizes his mom was telling the truth about his father, and he's horrified. He goes to make up with Jessica, but she's gone ... because now she's gone mad on the taste of human blood. This was so sad because Jessica and Bill had an adorable bonding moment about their love for humans, and now she's murdering people and that will not end well for anyone. Aw.

Tara and Eggs are trying to figure out life without Maryann, but Eggs woke up with Sam's blood on his hands so he's nervous. He asks Sookie to help him, and she reveals to him that he's been killing everyone this season. He completely loses his mind and turns himself in to Andy, while waving a giant knife around and knocking him down. I don't think that's really a peaceful surrender, and neither does Jason because he shoots Eggs dead. Andy protects his new BFF by sending Jason away and telling it was in self-defense/Eggs did it to himself. Tara sobs and loses her head and it's all very sad, but Eggs was kind of a bland character until the end, so it's not that sad he won't be getting main character status.

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Sam goes off to meet his real parents, only after visiting his mean adopted parents first, so that means next season we might be getting awesome shapeshifter stories. Yay! The Queen and Eric make out a little because she's mad at him that Bill knows about the V blood. No knowledge yet why the Queen is selling her own blood. She tells Eric not to drink Sookie's blood because he'll pretty much fall in love with her non-human self. This goes nicely with Bill taking Sookie out for a beautiful dinner, dancing with her, and then proposing.

She's like "AHHH!" at first, and then when she takes a moment in the bathroom to think about it, she comes out liking the idea. Except now her fiance-to-be is gone and someone has kidnapped him. It is most likely a vampire since they used silver with gloves, and by the way, that diamond ring was gorgeous. I wonder if Stephen Moyer used a similar one to propose to Anna Paquin. My guess is Lorena kidnapped Bill, but we'll just have to see until next season, won't we? That is way too long. Overall the finale was a little ... anti-climatic. Maryann was finished within 25 minutes and the rest was everyone just kind of going 'that was weird.' Still, it's good to see everyone going in a new direction and it perfectly set up anticipation for next season.

Until 2010, "True Blood" believers, we must be satisfied with constant images of Maryann being impaled by the bull and Sam ripping out her heart. That always puts a smile on my face.

True Blood Cast: Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer, Alexander Skarsgard, Rutina Wesley, Ryan Kwanten, Sam Trammell, Christopher Bauer, Carrie Preston, more

Story by Chelsea Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer

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