Like ‘em, love 'em or hate ‘em, everyone has a mother. The person who carried us for nine months, mended our boo-boos and smothered us with so much love that sometimes it felt like a woolen blanket on an extra hot day. (Wait, maybe that was just mine - kidding mom!) In any case Mother’s Day is coming up on May 8 and Starpulse thought it only respectful to pay a little cinematic love to the ladies who first gave us life. So here is an ever-eclectic list of the funniest, toughest, scariest, strangest and downright quirkiest caregivers to ever grace the silver screen – it’s our...Top Ten Memorable 'Movie Moms!'
10. Tutti Bomowski – "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot"
Over-the-top? Sure. Clichéd? No Doubt. Though the short but stout Tutti Bomowski thankfully provides serious laughs alongside her healthy doses of smothering love. From the classic showing of nude baby pictures to helping out beefcake son Sly Stallone by brandishing a loaded weapon (hence the absurd title!) timid Tutti is the epitome of the way too caring, over-protective, ready-to-embarrass little mommy we all know and love…and she’s packing.
9. Samantha Caine / Charly Baltimore – "The Long Kiss Goodnight"
As an everyday happy homemaker, mom extraordinaire Samantha Caine goes from simple local zero to worldwide badass hero. Realizing that she’s not at all who she thought she was, the schoolteacher pokes into her own background and eventually pulls out and becomes blond-haired former CIA vixen Charly Baltimore, an assassin who kills first and asks questions later. A hot single parent who is as good with a sniper rifle as she is baking a batch of killer brownies – meet mom of the year.
8. Jenny Fields – "The World According to Garp"
When it comes to frank conversations about sex and love, nobody offers advice and solutions better then feminist mom Jenny Fields. As the sole parent (she impregnates herself via a brain damaged WW2 military gunner with spontaneous erections named Garp!) of illegitimate boy wonder T.S. Garp, Jenny boldly goes above and beyond the call of motherhood (she buys a pro for her growing son as an experiment!) all the while being the epitome of female rights and equality – if only all moms were as lovingly liberal.
7. Pamela Voorhees – "Friday the 13th"
Bottom line – you gotta admire a mom who would kill for you. And I don’t mean a random act of violent protectiveness, but would actually maternally slaughter in your honor. Pamela Voorhees, the real executioner of "Friday the 13th," takes the ever-increasing grief of losing her beautiful boy (only in the eyes of his momma!) Jason to a whole other level and it’s a marvelous massacre. From arrows in the throat (take that Footloose boy!) to random axes in the head, friend of the Christy’s Mrs. Voorhees celebrates her kids’ birthday like no other – and it’s a party to die for.
6. Lilly Dillon – "The Grifters"
Not exactly a nurturing soul, Lilly Dillon is a mom who parents likes she grifts – sporadically and dangerously. As part worried mom, part self-involved con artist, Lilly harbors an unusual bond with equally shifty son Roy that is strange and strained right from the first frame. But when she decides to take the affection of her son to a whole other level in the name of getting away with the loot, Lilly gives haunting new meaning to the term "motherly love."
5. Mrs. Lift – "Throw Momma From The Train"
The quintessential scary screaming banshee, Mrs. Lift housed all the attributes we love to hate in a mom. The leathery scowl, the sunny disposition ("Get off your fat little ass or I’ll break it for you!"), those words of encouragement ("You’re gonna be nothing!") and most importantly true patience and understanding. ("Don’t you in a minute momma me!") Who would want to harm such a petite, defenseless old lady? How about everyone!
4. Joan Crawford – "Mommie Dearest"
The subject? Bad parenting 101. Your teacher? Mommie dearest herself Joan "hothead" Crawford. If you really need to know why this maniacal momma is on this list, you don't know Joan. Sophisticated Hollywood socialite by day, raging beast from hell by night, Crawford took out all her insecurities, frustrations and alcoholic obsessions on innocent adopted daughter Christina and the rest is bad wire-hanger history.
3. Beatrice Henderson – "Mother"
The really smart moms, like Albert Brooks parent Beatrice Henderson, can maintain control with a simple word or gesture. Beatrice is not only a master of manipulation ("I lived through the depression – you didn’t!"), but also witty analogies ("We’re not intimate dear. We just have sex occasionally!") and even finds time to make a mean out of the freezer hundred-year-old salad. (Not to mention that tasty 'protective ice' sherbet – yum, yum!) Though in the end, she’s just a half happy mom with her very own unfulfilled dreams and regrets – thank goodness she’s human after all.
2. Mother – "Mother"
Like the Clint Eastwood spaghetti western-style character, Bong Joon-ho’s mom with no name begins as an average hardworking herb-pushing Asian lord of the dance. (Love that moody opening!) But soon the unlicensed acupuncturist is forced to turn gumshoe when her mentally disabled boy is tricked into signing a confession of murder. What unfolds from there is so dark, twisted and downright shocking that it’s even a mothers worst nightmare, but rest assured this protective parent goes to any lengths to help her belittled brood – any.
1. Mrs. Bates – "Psycho"
Who would deny the prowess the infamous Mrs. Bates reigns over all other movie mommas? (Nobody that wants to live probably!) She made us afraid of the shower, forced us to look up at our second story windows and even dread fruit cellars. But most of all she took a sweet simple boy named Norman and single-handedly turned him into a matricidal monster. (Or at least a ghoul with a bad dress and wig!) The body of Mrs. Bates may now be buried in Greenlawn Cemetery, but her spirit is alive and taxidermy-preserved well.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!