We couldn't have described this week's Top Gear any better than Adam Ferrara did: It's "responsible cars, not so responsibly." Adam, Tanner Foust and Rutledge Wood try to pretend that they're mature adults when they're sent to Denver to see if you can drive a car that is both fun and practical.

Adam brings an AMG Mercedes, while Tanner shows up in a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, and Rutledge arrives in a Honda Odyssey, because minivans are cool when Rutledge Wood is driving them - and when they've been souped up to have a thousand horsepower. Rut immediately leads his confused colleagues on a mini-race around the block, which is interrupted by a speed bump and some geese. We can't make this stuff up.

Adam: Suddenly, a trip to the mall just got a lot more fun. Even with the screaming wife and kids.

The guys' three psuedo-dad cars are, naturally, subjected to a series of challenges en route to an intimidating final destination: Pikes Peak. Rutledge might be letting that extra horsepower go to his head, while Adam proves once again that he's the single funniest person on the planet by making minivan jokes, before they get out of town and to an abandoned airstrip. There, they have to load up their cars with assorted sporting goods, accelerate to 120 miles an hour, and come to a complete stop in as little overall time as possible.

Tanner, who can never load anything in an orderly fashion (remember the 'Taxis' episode?), loses his radio in the chaos that is the Porsche and clocks a time of 3:16 after being penalized for the balls he left behind. Rutledge gets dinged for that, and for nearly throwing up, putting him at 3:19. Adam also has some issues with the altitude, although he wins the challenge in 2:56. Drumroll for Rutledge Wood, ladies and gentlemen.

Adam: Why do people live here?
Rutledge: I have one idea, because they legalized it.

In another random parking lot, our heroes are subsequently tasked with seeing who can burn out a tire and then change it the quickest. This is just begging for Adam to come up with some ridiculous workaround, and you can almost see the lightbulb go off over his head. He decides he'll just shred the tire with a pocket knife. When it comes to the manual labor, though, he loses time because he has to inflate his spare tire for a full eight minutes. He decides to stall for time by stealing Tanner's lugnuts, which only lets Tanner discover that Adam cheated. Score one for Rutledge.