'The Bachelor' Recap: Michelle Vs Chantal
This week, Michelle and Chantal's showdown takes center stage on “The Bachelor.” The exotic site of this epic battle is the jungles of Costa Rica, where Brad Womack is sent to continue on his quest to find love and redemption on reality television.
Round 1 – Chantal O. (28) for making it through the re-appearance of the bachelorettes’ ages intact. Michelle may be the most age-appropriate choice for Brad but girl looks like she’s been rode hard for (30).
Round 2 – Chantal O - The obvious early victor of the night, Chantal O becomes the first girl of the season to win a second one-on-one date with the Bachelor. Off to the side, invisible Alli seethes with rage over the fact that sharing a green cupcake is the extent of her alone time with some guy she’s supposed to be manufacturing feelings for. Not surprisingly, no one notices.
Brad and Chantal hit the helicopter and take off on their date, while Michelle sulks and whines to a too-polite-to-run-away, Emily. What is Brad doing on this date? The way Michelle sees it, Chantal is “really aggressive, really overconfident…. Almost like, egotistical.” Did the kook-pot mention the kettle was black? Yeah, I thought so.
Much to Michelle’s disgust, Chantal is totally killing it on the date, zip-lining with carefree abandon, despite the twists and turns of life/rain! What drama? There are monkeys around… and tiki torches! And more rain! Even better!
Once Brad is convinced that Chantal’s emotions were an isolated event he’d never have to deal with again, he gives her a rose and they say a lot of things that could be something (if you’re the person accepting a rose) or nothing (if you’re not).
Round 3 – Everyone but Michelle (default Chantal)
Chantal comes home with a rose and Brad’s shirt, while Michelle goes out on a group date in the rain, with a face of caked-on makeup that doesn’t hide the fact that she’s not nearly as water-resistant as her rival. Then, Brad goes and breaks his pact to never rappel with anyone but her. It was just more important to make sure that all the potential wives have an adventurous side, if not a brain or (single) personality.
Round 4 – Michelle - After getting smacked around a little bit, Brad tells Michelle that not only did he save her for last (which she correctly points out, he didn’t), but he is going to rappel down with her. And by with her, he means at the same time as her, in a harness about three feet to the right of her harness.
Round 5 – Emily - Brad is hers if she wants him.
Round 6 – Chantal - Apparently part two of the group date is so close to home base that Brad can hear Alli’s blood-curdling scream after Chantal waves a beetle in her face. It’s a fitting introduction to his confrontational exchange with Michelle that results in a rose-free night. Michelle is bugged – no pun intended.
Round 7 – Everyone but Alli - Brad rides up with a family of horses and he and Alli set off for “the altar.” The squeamish bachelorette (she of the blood-curdling scream) manages to wade through a bat-invested cave for the sake of true love. Finally, the two flashlights experience some sort of awesomeness and eventually make their way to a series of flattened steps that are called “the altar.” Brad lays out a picnic blanket and lights some candles, and they begin the stilted, chemistry-free portion of their date that continues until he sends her off without a rose. She cries. He says goodbye and goes home with another rose.
Round 8 – Michelle - Surprising Brad after his date with Alli seems to go pretty well for the hairstylist, who may or may not have been responsible for the French-braid-as-headband look that everyone is sporting in the Costa.
Round 9 – Michelle - She wisely did not show up to the cocktail party dressed like a cheetah the way Chantal did.
Round 10 – Chantal - Brad did a little flip-flop on the previous evening’s rendez-vous with Michelle, and slams her for telling him what to do with his roses. The other girls figure out what she’s been up to and call her desperation out. Meanwhile, Chantal drops the LOVE bomb on Brad in a way that hints that she not only understands his complete distrust in anyone's feelings for him, but is willing to accept it and build a strategy accordingly. (Seriously Chris Harrson, MIA Jamie the Therapist, Anyone at all -- what is this guy doing on the show again? His practical/paranoid resistance to believing one can fall in love after two completely contrived, over-the-top, on-camera rendez-vous is getting a little ridiculous.) Fortunately, we've got Chantal around. Very well played. Even though Michelle’s still around, Chantal wins the night.
What did everyone else think? Who will last longer? Did Jackie get sent home just so that Brad could prove Michelle’s predictions wrong? Who (besides Brit) is next to go?