Here's a PSA to supernatural creatures: stay away from Beacon Hills. And Beacon County. There have been werewolf attacks, kanima paralysis, packs of Alphas, crazy maybe-bisexual Druids, nogitsunes, and now a freaking Deadpool of assassins trying to kill anyone for a buck. Out of the 30,000 people who live in Beacon Hills, I recommend abandoning ship. 

Like this blond werewolf chick who I desperately rooted to stay alive. I know it was impossible for her to stay alive because she appeared before the credits, but still. She fought off the impossibly tiny little assassin named Violet before innocently jumping into a guy's car because he basically said: come with me if you want to live. And then Garrett stabs her in the chest! It’s a shame. I was rooting for her.

After the credits, Teen Wolf decides to get very expositional and also very tired. Stiles and Scott give a giant recap of everything they know and don't know to the Sheriff. I kind of didn't pay attention until Allison was mentioned and then I could stop looking at everyone. One of the things that has really pissed me off this season is that Allison's death doesn't seem to be a big deal. It absolutely was and these kids would be so effed up from it.

Other new information we learn: Lydia has only unlocked one third of the list and this haunts her. Beacon Hills has 30,000 people but Beacon County is 500,000. The sups could be anywhere in this range. The other fun thing to learn is that the numbers on the list have a price tag; all of the numbers will add up to 117, the money stolen from the Hale vault. The pack deduces it had to be one of the students who killed Demarco at the lake house party last week.

Can we talk about how much people are worth? Scott is worth $25 million to kill, Lydia $20 million, Derek $15 million, Kira $. I think it would be such a game changer if Stiles is on that list from being possessed and evil. Now, I know it's really scary with all these people after you trying to kill you but if I were them I'd also be a little flattered. 

Anyway, the lacrosse team has its first scrimmage of the season and guess who it is against: Liam's old school. Liam pumps a ton of iron before Derek drops by the school to inappropriately oodle Liam. That's what happens. He breaks Liam’s stick. Pushes him against a locker. Liam freaks out before Scott babysits/bullies/mentors Liam into going to class. Derek smiles very wide, an unnatural sighting for anyone on Teen Wolf.


What is Derek smiling about? Scott is going to be good at this. Uh, duh. He already had a surrogate beta: Isaac. Did everyone forget about Issaac? 

Lydia works on getting that second key by drawing. Malia hovers unhelpfully until she suggests help from the other banshee, Meredith. I have such a soft spot for her that I'm excited to see where this goes.

Back at class, Stiles does police work in class. Can you imagine going to school with Stiles? As hot as I'd think him to be, I'd be terrified if we had any school assignment together or if I had to sit next to him. Coach insults Stiles, who takes it as a compliment, before Stiles figures out that the blade is hidden in the lacrosse stick. The killer is on the team. I mean, it isn't the most revleatory thing because we know who the killer is, but good job guys!