It’s all about the scenes we didn’t see … and that’s why I MUST know what I have previously had to intuit. Welcome to the recap of Survivor: South Pacific to date. During this episode, called “A Closer Look,” I discovered that some people don’t look so good up close.  And I certainly didn’t find any treasures in this trash pit.

Apparently Jeff Probst was not very impressed with Ozzy’s laid back attitude at the onset. Ozzy was more about the swimming, and getting the other tribe mates to strip down to their underwear for that first dip. You can tell a lot about people by the way they reveal or conceal their body.  Cochran, the pasty nerd and Dawn, the Mormon, were, of course, the pariahs, as both had difficulty in showing their naughty bits. Cochran’s insecurity over his body kept him tied to the women working on the camp, while the men bonded over fishing.

At Upolu, Coach was building both a camp and a family. Looking very Steven Seagal, Coach took the lead, despite the cool reception he’d been given on introduction.  His gung ho manner began immediately to steal the hearts of his tribe mates. Brandon, Russell Hantz’ nephew, couldn’t have been more happy to work with Coach, and his god fearing attitude.  Apparently Sophie found Brandon ‘creepy’ from the beginning, and wondered if he was a reformed gangster.  

There’s an excruciating scene shown where long gone Papa Bear tries to give Cochran dating advice. Do I have to go on? It’s excruciating. Apparently it’s all about complimenting the earrings. Nuff said.  Didn’t work for Cochran either, when he tried it on Whitney, and she said it made him seem ‘gay.’

Ooh… flashback to the horrible immunity challenge when the two tribes had to bite off chunks of pork, but not eat a bite. Disgusting enough, but when Mikayla committed the double sin of vomiting up her share of the pork, and then putting two spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee ... well, clearly, she had to go, according to Coach, channeling crazy Phillip Sheppard’s ‘crispy rice’ fetish.

Over at Savaii, Cochran was endearing himself with tales of his kindergarten waterworks … in great detail. He didn’t seem to realize that his stories of huggy-less urination were not being met with smiles. We’re also treated to several scenes of Cochran trying to live up to Ozzy’s ideas of what a ‘man’ in the tribe should be capable of … with the results you might have expected. For PETA card carrying Cochran, gutting fish and helping to behead a chicken were acts of courage, but his revulsion at the tasks made him a mockery with the others.

Upolu’s dark secret is revealed … Rick can actually speak! And he’s not very fond of Brandon or Brandon’s meltdowns. We also see Coach asking ‘Father’ to give Brandon unbelievable self control when it comes to his tongue. Clearly, that message was never read.

And now for the scandal! Whitney and Keith are revealed in all their silly glory. Apparently, Whitney was still married when she was in Survivor. She and Keith hit it off in a big way, but tried to conceal their infatuation. Cochran was an unwilling observer to their love play.

We also revisit Ozzy’s strange martyrdom play, when he had himself voted to Redemption Island, and the odd, doomed attempt to cast Cochran as the double agent. Neither was a brilliant ‘big’ move.

When the tribes merge, Coach is shocked … shocked I say! . .. at the chaos in Ozzy’s camp. He’s shocked at the Whitney/Keith  shackup, the state of the camp, and how Ozzy’s laissez-faire attitude has splintered the tribe. Coach realizes that Cochran has been put in the lowest position, and takes it upon himself to show Cochran the similarities between the pantheon of Greek Gods and the tribe members. Cochran is easily seduced by Coach’s words and flattery, although a little taken aback when Coach compares himself to Zeus.

Probst points out that Ozzy’s strength has always been in being a provider. Perhaps his downfall might have been when he avoided playing a more social game. Dawn comments that the game is essentially selfish, especially towards the end, and as a mom of 6, she may be out of her comfort zone.

We also see a scene where Ozzy and Coach bond. Coach, essentially, plays Ozzy like a violin, although Ozzy thinks he has Coach in his pocket. Coach always has the end game in mind, and, with Cochran in HIS pocket, the upper hand.

Meanwhile, Brandon has nothing but compliments for Ozzy’s fishing prowess, but Brandon cannot begin to compete as provider after Ozzy has gone. So Brandon suggests it’s time to kill the chickens that have kept them in eggs for the duration. Again, Rick speaks! It seems that Rick is rather a chicken killer expert. Brandon manages to lose one of the chickens, so the tribe goes from having two chickens to none in the blink of the eye, leaving no one very pleased with Brandon. But is it enough to put him on the chopping block?

We also discover that Albert has delusions of power. He wants Brandon out, but Sophie wisely sees that keeping Brandon may be an asset to the endgame. And none of Albert’s great plans have worked out yet – why start aiding and abetting now?

With just a few days left in the game, the former Upolu tribe has no choice but to cannibalize their own. Will Cochran be the first to go? Or can he wriggle out again?

Next week on Survivor:  Albert says he’d be happier to see Cochran go further in the game than Silent Rick. Cochran conspires to throw either Albert or Rick off the Island. Coach upgrades Cochran to ‘warrior' from ‘student’. Lots more beach Tai Chi to come!