Lois and Clark are heading to the boonies to cover the “Cherry Festival” (really?) when they get a double blowout. Clark heads to the nearest town to get a new tire while Lois hangs back with Charlotte Cavanagh, a little farm girl straight out of “Little House on the Prairie.” But when Clark returns to the car with a fresh tire, Lois is nowhere to be seen.

Even weirder, as Clark puts the tire in the trunk, he cuts his suddenly not-indestructible hand. A local constable agrees to help Clark search for Lois, who is taking a horse-and-buggy carriage ride with Charlotte back to her Amish-looking village. Charlotte’s mother convinces Lois to stay for supper, while Charlotte runs to inform her father that she’s reeled one in…

Meanwhile, at the Luthor mansion, there’s a birthday party for the little Lex clone Alexander. But since he’s rapidly aging, and was born in a lab, how do they know how old he is, and where did these friends come from and…. Oh, never mind. What matters is that Li’l Lex takes a red candle and scrawls a Superman S on a paper plate, then falls to the floor in a seizure. Alexander tells Tess it’s the “symbol of the bad man” who wants to kill him.

Clark and the cop continue the search for Lois and discovers that the area fell victim to the meteor shower of 1989 (the one that came in the wake of baby Kal-El’s journey from Krypton), in which blue (not green) kryptonite affected the water in the area, seemingly purifying it. Unfortunately for Clark, blue K suppresses his powers, so when he hears some nearby church bells peal, he’s knocked unconscious by the butt of the cop’s rifle.

Lois is marveling at the sumptuous meal with the Cavanaghs, but their discussion of the Harvest Celebration makes her uneasy, especially when they say that the Lord’s fire from the sky that showed them the light was responsible for the death of their oldest child, Esther. The upside was that ever since Esther’s sacrifice, the crops have been bountiful and the people hale and hearty! Logic clearly dictates that annual human sacrifice is necessary to continue the bountiful blessing, right?

Some time later, Clark awakens in the farmhouse to find Lois all decked out in white linen, awaiting her sacrifice. Normally, it would be the Blur to the rescue, but after years of drinking the Blue-K-infected water, the townfolk are walking power-suppressors to Clark. They find a hidden cellar door, and Clark changes into farm clothes to blend in with the crowd.

Back in Smallville, Alexander is at the Kent farm, reliving the real Luthor’s memories of his relationship with Clark, both good and bad. Tess tells him that he’s not destined to be Lex, but the kid dismisses Tess, saying that she’s always tried to gain power by clinging to powerful men: Oliver, Luthor, Zod and now Clark. Tess does not like this assessment.

Lois and Clark have escaped from the farmhouse, but are quickly spotted and caught by the torch-wielding townsfolk (who are all wearing the Scarecrow’s mask from “Batman Begins”). Farmer Cavanagh slashes Clark’s gut with a scythe and Lois is carted to the sacrificial altar. She tries reasoning with Farmer Cavanagh, but when that doesn’t work, tries accuses the whole town of mistaking blind allegiance to a madman for faith in a higher power.  Luckily for Lois, the seemingly-dead Clark Kent is buried, far enough underground and away from the infected populace that his powers return. He bursts from the ground and rushes through the crowd just in time to shield Lois from a spilled cauldron of blue flame. Clark’s back is burned badly, but heals as the frightened masses back away. Lois warns them that if they invoke the anger of this new messenger from the Heavens, he’ll wreak vengeance on their town (with heat vision and super-breath, no less!) and Clark and Lois speed away from the Village of the Damned.

They return to the Kent farm, and Lois joins the chorus telling Clark that it may be best for him to “step into the light” and give the people a hero they can believe in. Clark gives Lois his journal, detailing everything he knows about his Kryptonian heritage in order to bring them closer. They get closer (wink, wink). 

Meanwhile, Tess is given a small amount of serum that might cure Alexander, but she’s no longer convinced that he can be saved, so she throws it in the fireplace. “He’s not just a clone. He IS Lex Luthor.” She may be right; back in his bedroom, Alexander has just shaved off all of his hair, returning to the iconic bald pate of Superman’s arch-enemy.

I realize that three weeks ago, I called for some throwaway episodes to temper the increasing ponderousness of the Darkseid storyline, but two weeks in a row of basically rehashed episodes is making me a tad antsy. Bring on Granny Goodness!

Next week: Thanksgiving comes early in “Ambush!”