By Joan Alperin Schwartz: Once upon a time, a Hollywood actor named Tom Hanks decided to write a film about a middle aged average guy who loses his job, goes to college, makes some new friends, joins a motor scooter gang, gets a makeover, and has his house foreclosed case I forgot to mention... He meets an alcholic college Professor who looks very much like Julia Roberts. They of course fall in love and live happily ever after.


Don't worry...I'm not spoiling anything.  You know that's going to happen the minute Tom walks into Julia's class.

Not only did Tom Hanks write this film along with Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) but he directed it as well.  

All I can say is...This is Hollywood pablum at its worst.

Tom plays Larry Crowne.  Larry gets fired from his job, because it turns out...he never went to college.  So Crowne enrolls in the local community college...Takes a couple of courses...meets a group of very cool and very goodlooking people, all under the age of 25,  joins their little motor scooter gang, and he finds's never too late to be happy.


Julia Roberts is Mercedes, the alcholic, extremely unhappy, college professor.  Of course she's unhappy.  Mercedes is married to a writer (Brian Cranston) who doesn't write.  He's too busy looking at porn all day on his computer.

On top of that, poor Mercedes hates her job.  Her first class is at 8:00 AM.  Guess she isn't a morning person. Mercedes is bitter and bitter does not look good on Miss Roberts.

This film is supposed to be a romantic comedy.  It's not romantic...nor is it funny.

'Larry Crowne' is a bad Hollywood fairy tale that says...You can lose your home, your family, your possessions...but as long as you appreciate the little things in'll be okay.

Also it doesn't hurt, if you have a hot chick named Talia (Guga Mbatha-Raw) who becomes your BFF, gives you a new 'do' and a make-over.

'Larry Crowne' opens in theaters, Friday July 1, 2011 and this time...'Two Jews On Film' give this a very low bagel rating.  Yes they actually agree.