Each week the editors at Starpulse will be highlighting the best responses and remarks to news stories and celebrity topics that we’ve come across.

Starpulse Mission Statement #26453

Objective: The talented and inventive Research Team here at Starpulse.com has given an assignment to the STF (Starpulse Task Force), the human-less automatons who are in control of patrolling the site to delete and erase any malicious and offensive comments, to collect some of the funniest, corniest, craziest and "wtf" comments worthy of recognition and acknowledgment.

Top news blog comments of the Week:

President Bush's Daughter Weds
By: Felix Lassiter
Ha Ha Jenna's in the bush with Hager smoking on a big cigar.

Mischa Barton Moves To Paris

By: Tom Sizemore
Must have better blow there.

Your 15 Minutes of Fame Are Over: Go Away!
By: Guy Nacolojist
my guess is that Heidi Montag just lays there.
I bet she does enjoy the occasional Cleveland Steamer and Rusty Trombone though.

Two More Actors Sign On to Oliver Stone's 'W'

By: Bill Brasky
rumored ongoing negotiations are in the works to cast Be Arthur to play the bigoted matriarch and half-man Barbara Bush.

Amy Adams Wants A 'Gone With The Wind' America
By: OrlandoLuver
Yeah, a time when women had no rights seems great. I bet she hates gay people too.

Disney To Kick Miley To The Curb?

By: 2sugha
What curb will they be kicking her to? The little girl is loaded. She owns that curb and the neighborhood it's in.

Tom Cruise Launches A New Website
By: chunky lover 53
"TomCruise.com", Not to be confused with "cruisingfortoms.com", the award winning website for alternative lifestyles

Kate Hudson Dating Lance Armstrong?
By: Alter-Ego
I think the only thing in Tinseltown that Kate Hudson hasn't had inside her is the Hollywood sign.

The Myspace Vs. Facebook Debate
By: Squints
I heart these comments

Harrison Ford Angry People Think He's Too Old To Plat Indy
By: Squints
Get off my lawn, you punk kids

Madonna: 'Britney Spears Is Suffering Like Africa'

By: Sassy Caveman
I don't really see the comparison here. One is infected with bugs and disease, the other's a continent.

Seven Ways To Fix 'American Idol'
By: boogieboo11502
I have 7 ways to fix idol
1. get rid of Randy
2. GET RID OF Randy
3. get rid of Randy

Britney Spears' Stomach Fuels Pregnancy Speculation
By: Felix Lassiter
Ha Ha Britney Spears has fueled speculation she is stagnant and plans on staying that way.

Jude Law And Kimberly Stewart A Couple?

By: quietriot101
i am not a jude law fan becuz i like my men manly and he is 2 scrawny, but i am even less of a kimberly stewart fan becuz she's an idiot!

Jessica Alba Marries Cash Warren

By: springsteenfan
She is trash! Yeah, she did not want to "spill the beans" because she was embarrassed that she could not wear "white" as a virgin bride should wear when getting married for the first time. I don't care how pretty she is and what the liberal, apologetic, sympathisizing Hollywood press say about her and how many films she does. She still is trash.

Dina Lohan Says Lindsay's Problems Aren't Her Fault

By: Tom Sizemore
Keep digging your hole deeper Dina Failmom.

No Guests At Jessica Alba's Wedding
By: bandgirl
she should have invited people so she can have a memory that she can remember

More Ashlee Simpson Pregnancy Rumors
By: Gossipluvr
I'm still boo-ing her for ruining my 2005 Orange Bowl half-time show... Boooooooooo!

DeGeneres, De Rossi Plan To Marry
By: Angelina Jolie
i don get it y ppl r aftr musilimz n Islam so much....no matter wat evry1 iz against muslims......no matter wat Islam iz da purest ,da most simple n true religion...ur alwayz welcum 2 knw more 'bout it raher dan juz sayin bad stuff 'bout it...i knw many Muslimz take their religion 2 an extreme but de r bad....plz don say bad stuff 'bout Islam unless u knw itz true meanin...n 'bout diz..i didn knw ellen waz ..............gay

DeGeneres, De Rossi Plan To Marry

By: 2sugha
Munch it up...

Hayden Panettiere Blasts 'Size-ist" Hollywood

By: PureSexyness2008
HEY people AINT nothing wrong with being volumptous,big boobs are old schools boos azz with the thick waist is what a man needs what cha gonna do with no giggle.

Jimmy Fallon Confirmed As New 'Late Night" Host
By: Felix Lassiter
Ha Ha As for Conan The Unbearable taking over the tonight show from Mount Chinmore who cares neither one of them is funny.

Fergie Nearly Falls Off 'Today Show' Stage

By: The H8R
Nothing like a tranny pretending to blow his/her guitarist and humping the stage in front of an audience full of little kids and their moms. You stay classy Fergie.

Mutt Lange Denies Cheating On Shania Twain

By: Guy Nacolojist
Rule number one of marrying Shania Twain: you do not cheat on Shania Twain.
Rule number two of marrying Shania Twain: you do not cheat on Shania Twain.

Katie Holmes Headed To Broadway

By: The H8R
Will her leash reach all the way on stage?

Spike Lee Blasts Clint Eastwood For Not Casting African Americans
By: Felix Lassiter
Ha Ha Clint has nothing to be sorry for except those squinty eyes. Spike has nothing to be sorry for except that goat tee those glasses and that hat and his audacious inability to make a good movie man what a dweeb.

Club Owner Offers To Help Lindsay Lohan With Mink Coat Debacle

By: Tom Sizemore

DeGeneres, De Rossi Plan To Marry
By: love_in_the _rain69
one question, how are they going to make babies honestly, apart from adopting?
who is mum?
who is dad?
who has a p3nis there Degeneres or De Rossi?
and so on...
educate me...please

Topic Comments

Trace Adkins
By: baby_girl_16

he is so hot. he can put his boots under my bed any day.

Ashley Tisdale
By: MileyObsesser

She is hot but her nosejob sucks she "WAS" naturally beautiful...

Vanessa Hudgens
By: ash218

ur stupid

Miley Cyrus
By: jonas fan

she is a stank X@@##! and she needs to get a life and just die already(srry if that was a lil harsh she just really pisses me off)

Kimberly Stewart
By: Tom Sizemore

worthless parasite.

Lindsay Lohan
By: corachaotic93

i dont like her

Tim Curry
By: Haley9764

Ok I have to say that Tim Curry was sooooo sooo hot back then when he was in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" but honestly now he isnt so hot

Jack Black
By: lovetheweasel

would love to chill with him and eat twinkies

Tila Tequila
By: 911_shejam

she's pretty but she seems like she is loose in the cooch!

John Travolta
By: lovetheweasel

in spite of the fact that he is a tool, i like most of his movies

Pterodactyl Woman From Beverly Hills
By: chunky lover 53

"The Nicole Ritchie Story"

Marcel Marceau
By: Tom Sizemore

Mimes suck

Bow Wow
By: Hambrookart

you are one ugly lookin' booger.

Lil Wayne
By: Lupe Young

i think that he's a young intellagant man living nice and i would like to meet you

Did we miss any comments? What are your favorites? Make a comment!