8. Take a Trip

We mentioned Nick, but we'd be remiss if we ignored the entire train wreck that is the Hogan family. While Nick spent time in the clink, Hulk and Linda's marriage fell apart. Hulk cheated with one of daughter Brooke's best friends, so Linda retaliated by hooking up with a 19 year-old surfer. Meanwhile, both Hulk and Nick got busted on tape making derogatory statements about crash victim John Graziano and trying to cash in via another reality show. Oh, and let's not forget Brooke Hogan's bubble-headed election comments that a woman can't run the free world because of "PMS." Take a long trip, Hogan family. We'll tell you when we're ready for you to come back.

The ghastly, masked apparition of Michael Jackson is haunting the U.S. once again. We'll buy you a one way ticket back to Dubai, Wacko Jacko. We have our copy of Thriller, so we're set.

We suggest a trip for Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel, as well: Down the aisle! With your zany humor and strangely appealing chemistry, you two crazy kids are perfect for one another. Not even a breakup or faux-dalliances with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck could keep you apart. Do it!