Carrie Fisher doesn't remember very much about a bipolar episode she suffered last month during a performance on a cruise ship.
She slurred her words and worried fans on the Holland America Eurodam in the Caribbean. She was subsequently hospitalized to adjust her medication.
The actress has opened up to People magazine, saying she was "just trying to survive" the manic state she was experiencing.
She explained: "I went completely off the rails. I don't really remember what I did. I haven't watched the videos that people took. I was in a very severe manic state, which bordered on psychosis. Certainly delusional. I wasn't clear (sic) what was going on. I was just trying to survive. There are different versions of a manic state, and normally they're not as extreme as this became. I've only had this happen one other time, 15 years ago, so I didn't have a plan of action."
Fisher also denies she was drinking alcohol during the episode. She added, "I wasn't drunk. Anyone who knows me knows that's no (sic) possible. On the ship, I had gone to AA meetings a couple of times, and those guys were very sweet and grounding for me. They actually came onstage and saved me."
Looking back, the actress realizes there were potential warning signs of a biopolar episode early in the trip.
She said, "I wasn't sleeping. I was writing on everything. I was writing in books; I would have written on walls. I literally would bend over and be writing on the ground and (my assistant) would try to talk to me, and I would be unable to respond."
Fisher is constantly managing her illness. "The only lesson for me, or for anybody, is that you have to get help. It's not a neat illness. It doesn't go away," she stated.