Its spring and love must be in the Gossip Girl air. Nate (Chace Crawford) and Serena (Blake Lively) still can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Their morning romps in the kitchen, however, are starting to take a toll on their roommate Blair (Leighton Meester). At least she can amuse herself and fake orgasm while reading a magazine to prove an ever-so-annoying point to the happy couple.
Blair's need to amuse herself comes from Chuck's (Ed Westwick) recent absence after a run in with his potential mother to be, Elizabeth (Laura Harring). After staking out the hotel she was staying in, Chuck broke into her room and found an artifact proving her to be the matriarch of the Bass name. While Chuck was busy breaking and entering, Nate was busy trying to keep Chuck's phone away from Blair. Blair, obviously the one wearing the pants (literally and figuratively, since Nate and Serena can't seem to keep theirs on for more than 5 minutes) in this household, took the phone away and listened to a message Elizabeth left on Chuck's phone.
Chuck interrupts the meddling and informs everyone that this mystery woman is in fact his mother. Chuck isn't overly thrilled with this discovery and decides to ignore it. Serena, still reeling over her own missing father, decides to take matters into her own hands and contact Elizabeth to get her to tell Chuck the full story of why she left and why he thought she was dead all these years.
Serena's meddling didn't go quite according to plan, though. Chuck offered Elizabeth some money (a lot of money, actually) and told her to stay away and leave NYC for good. She took the money and left. Serena, unable to comprehend why a parent would abandon their child, again took the situation upon herself and tracked down Elizabeth. The two had a brief conversation, with Elizabeth explaining that she wanted to give Chuck up for adoption, but Bart would have none of it. She then decided it would be easier to tell Chuck she died, to prevent him from ever coming to look for her. Serena's sob story about her own father put some guilt on Elizabeth's shoulders and she decided to come back and explain the truth to Chuck - and return the money he bought her off with.
Serena also decided it was time to tell Nate about her daddy issues. She was afraid it would ruin all the fun (sex) they were having, but instead it brought them closer together.
Chuck and Serena weren't the only ones trying to avoid parental issues. Jenny (Taylor Momsen) was being threatened into Brooklyn exile for having Damien (Kevin Zegers) over. Lily (Kelly Rutherford) thought Damien was sleeping over - causing alarm - but then Jenny revealed that Damien had pills, which upset Rufus (Matthew) even more. With Rufus and Lily already being on the outs, Rufus saw this as a chance to intervene with his daughter and take her (along with himself) back to Brooklyn and away from everything Upper East Side. Jenny originally claimed the pills were hers, but secretly asked Damien to fight for their non-existent relationship. He came to her rescue and admitted the pills were his father's. This part is true, minus the whole him stealing them from his father and selling them to turn a profit. This somewhat bails Jenny out of the dog house, but doesn't save her from going back to Brooklyn. She decides to jump ship and run away (again) after telling Rufus and Lily they are taking their own issues out on her, causing a distraction. After denying her any sort of title or real date, Damien finally kisses Jenny on the bright Manhattan streets.
But, Jenny's not the only Humphrey seeing some action. Dan (Penn Badgley) finally got through to Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) about his real feelings and confronted her about not calling him back. Of course, this was only after both Dan and Vanessa decided to bring fake dates to some really lame South Beach NYU dorm party. They both abandoned said dates and ended up making out behind a cardboard cutout of lifeguards. The two decided that not hooking up was going to hurt their friendship worse than hooking up, so they left the party and, well, for lack of a better word, hooked up. Told you these kids just can't keep their hands off one another.
Story by Beth Wickman
Starpulse contributing writer