"House" is back, "House" is back! Yay for sports being over and "House" being back! In this first episode back, we get great House/Wilson moments, a stop to Huddy for the time being, and Chase learning unconditional love is totally conditional. Oh and there's a patient too that can't stop lying. I missed you, show.

The episode opens with teenagers waiting for a special concert, and one of them is particularly bold. She tries to get inside by lying about being the DJ's sidekick, but it doesn't work. Then the handsome emo pop star lets her in because she's cute, and she tells all her friends the next morning that they went skinny dipping. Then her hands and feet swell up to enormous sizes. See, kids, that's what lying does. The girl has low potassium and admits she was really there to stalk a comic book writer. Omg this girl and her friend are my new BFF's.

The team has to handle this one without House, because he's decided to go to a medical conference with his darling Wilson. Oh and Cuddy too. He's finally decided to make the move on Cuddy it seems, and he goes to their 80's party that night in a white wig and silly old costume. It's adorable. He and Cuddy reminisce about their past as they dance, and just when it seems like he might be making some real leeway with her, she goes running off. Denied!

House sulks the next morning with Wilson, but there are bigger things going on now. It turns out Wilson has written a speech for the conference about how he pretty much helped kill his patient, and that he thinks they should talk about euthanasia. This is not the first time euthanasia has come up on this show. In season three House advocated for it strongly with a patient who asked for it, and Cameron ended up being his angel of mercy. Somehow that will not relate to Chase killing his patient, though. House tells Wilson not to do it because it'll destroy his career. Wilson's determined, but why else would he want House to come to this? He was pushing it pretty hard. Could there be a part of him that hoped House would stop him?

And stop him he does. House drugs Wilson to keep him away, and then goes to see Cuddy. But he gets a shock when it turns out she has a boyfriend and hasn't told him. And that boyfriend is handsome private eye Lucas (Michael Weston), who points out reasonably that it's awkward. House does Wilson's speech to protect him, and Wilson is pretty furious over it. Luckily House gets out of this fight by figuring out what is wrong with his patient.

House (Hugh Laurie, L) have a heated exchange at a medical convention © Fox Broadcasting Co.

You see the girl is incapable of telling the truth now, even with truth serum in her, and her brain is bleeding whenever she tries. She tells them that the comic book writer raped her, but it's a lie. Her friend tries to fill in the blanks as much as she can. Cameron thinks for a time that she did get raped and gets scary on the comic book writer, but she's really angry at Chase because she thinks he's cheating. On Cameron, you'll wish he was soon. House has realized that she had Hemachromotosis and that made something in the oysters she ate cause all of this. Man, she better not eat shellfish ever again.

House accepts that Cuddy and Lucas are dating, and they have an enormously awkward conversation that ends with Lucas buying House a ginger ale. Apparently House knows that Lucas is more steady a person, and he wants Cuddy to be happy with her baby. Aw. See, he's growing. Wilson thanks House for reassuring him that he didn't do an awful, unforgivable thing with his patient, but not for drugging him. Their bromance is secure.

Back home, Chase tells Cameron he killed the dictator after she promises to love him no matter what. Ha ha, joke's on you, Chase. This means the team will probably be breaking up and next week House tries to get Taub and Thirteen back. Noooooo! We were so happy Thirteen-less!

"House" is on FOX Monday nights at 8 PM EST.

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Story by Chelsea Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer

Follow Chelsea on twitter at http://twitter.com/mustbethursday.