Last night's episode of Sunny was one that I had been looking forward to since the Season 5 promos started running. And although it didn't quite live up to my expectations, it still provided some laughs, as well as a few brilliant merchandising ideas.

Things started with Charlie's self-made infomercial for Kitten Mittens (misspelled Mittons, of course), much of which was featured in one of the aforementioned promos that I watched no less than 50 times on YouTube, laughing hysterically every time. I love animals, but I also enjoy seeing a snobby cat get put in its place once in a while. So, watching a mittened meower clumsily navigate its way across Charlie's coffee table only to take a header off the edge (who says cats always land on their feet?) was quite a treat.

When Charlie shows his ad to the gang, none of the guys quite understand what Kitten Mittens have to do with the bar. Dee, however, realizes that this is a great opportunity to start making some money, since her employment contract (that the guys drew up in order to pay her less than minimum wage) states that she is entitled to 100% of the profits from any Paddy's merch. When she shows Mac the only copy of the contract, he promptly eats it.

Since they have a "history" together, Charlie and Dee pay a visit to the recurring lawyer character brilliantly played by Brian Unger. Dee hopes to prove that an ingested contract is still valid, and Charlie wants to get a patent for Kitten Mittens before Mac and Dennis swoop in and steal his idea.

Turns out Mac and Dennis are interested in making some official Paddy's products, but nothing quite as simple or G-rated as Kitten Mittens. After ignoring Frank's merch ideas (green hard-boiled eggs and guns that shoot liquor into your mouth), Mac and Dennis create their own prototypes - Dennis goes with a Paddy's thong (for the ladies, but that he's more than happy to model) while Mac conjures up a novelty item, the dick towel, for which he's already created a website, www.dicktowel.com.

Season 5 Episode "The Girls." © Patrick McElhenney / FX

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Do you even have to ask if dicktowel.com is a REAL website? Of course it is! As soon as the words left Mac's mouth, the website crashed as every Sunny fan feverishly tried to access it. Things have slowed down now, so go to the website, watch the infomercial and order your dick towel today! (It's a real shame that Vince "You're gonna love my nuts" Shlomi didn't make a cameo.)

After tailing the lawyer and discovering that his wife is leaving him, Charlie and Dee decide to bring him a prostitute as "payment" for helping them with their legal issues. And that lady of the evening is none other than Heather, the runner-up from Bret Michaels' "Rock of Herpes!" (She didn't get to do much other than shake her boobs, which is too bad. Heather is hilarious. Good Lord, a bitch fight between her and Dee would have been glorious.)

The lawyer wants nothing to do with the prostitute or the rest of the gang, who all show up at his office asking for help. Frank wants to get a patent on his "gun shot," which Mac and Dennis have decided to steal after all, despite the fact that they can't quite perfect the technology. Frank then shows off his latest prototype by firing off a "tequila bullet," which I assume is just liquor mixed with gunpowder.

After the lawyer agrees to help everyone with their problems if they just leave him alone, Charlie finds a buyer for Kitten Mittens. Charlie's excitement is short-lived though, when the lawyer explains to the gang that the contract they all "blindly signed" gives him 100% of the profits from any Paddy's merchandise. Mac tries to eat that contract too, but unfortunately the lawyer is a little smarter than Dee. He has copies.

That contract also included a restraining order, which I hope won't hold up. Unger is hilarious and needs to make some more appearances.

Although Charlie's infomercial was the highlight of the show, the ad that Mac, Dennis and Frank made (taped over Mac's news program from "Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire") was also pretty good. But for some reason, Dennis' "nudie pen" (turn it upside down, he pops his shirt off) wasn't given nearly enough screen time or its own website. Big mistake. I really have no use for a dick towel, but I would buy that pen in a heartbeat.

Grade: B-

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It's Always Sunny stars: Kaitlin Olson / Danny DeVito / Charlie Day / Glenn Howerton / Rob McElhenney


"The Pop Eye @ Starpulse" is a column written by native Pittsburgher and current New Yorker, Becky Broderick. You may contact Becky directly at beckeyeam@gmail.com, or check out her other ramblings on The Pop Eye.




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