Michael has decided to turn the warehouse into a "scare house." Jim points out that the scariest thing that's happened on site was that there used to be a productive paper company located where a "scare house" now resides. Darryl pushes children through the "scare house" on a paper pallet forklift.
After a tedious and sad haunted house experience Darryl rewards the children with a promise of candy but is interrupted by Michael who is faking suicide. Michael kicks a chair out from under him and pretends to be choking to death while hanging from a noose wrapped around his neck. The children scream, Darryl asks what is wrong with Michael and Michael tries to explain that suicide is never the answer. Michael asks camera why it is that Christmas has to be the only holiday with a message. Hmmm. Let's think about that for half a second.
Jim gets a message from Erin about the client he is planning to visit confirming that both Jim and Michael will be present for the meeting. Jim calls the client to tell them that he will be the only one at the meeting. They insist on having Michael in attendance. Jim tells camera that he's sick of being "micro-co-managed" and it would go out and do a few things on his own. Michael grills Jim on what to wear, what to say and how to act in front of this top shelf client. Then Michael falls into the Koi pond in the client's lobby on the way into the meeting. Nice impression.
Michael comes back to the office soaking wet and claiming he ran into a freak rainstorm. The truth leaks out that he fell into the pond after the security guard calls to say they found his keys in the pond. The entire office decides to make fun of him. Michael says it wasn't funny it was terrifying. Jim tries to defend Michael but it only makes matters worse. Michael forces the office to sit through sensitivity training. He writes on a board all the things that everyone is not allowed to make fun of each other for. He writes "Koi pond" on the top of the list. He invites others to join in. Dwight puts "his nose" on the list. He feels it is too small for his face. Suddenly everyone notices that it is. Meredith writes, "had sex with a terrorist" on the board. She thought it would get out anyway so she might as well. After Angela says she wants people to stop comparing the way she eats to a squirrel, Erin interrupts to tell Michael the company wants Michael to pay $300 for one of the fish he killed when he fell into the Koi pond. Apparently he crushed its head with his shoe. Michael tries to get back to the list but Jim tells everyone that the meeting is done.
After the meeting Jim gives Michael some advice. He recommends that Michael make fun of himself before others can do it thus circumventing the problem and making it less fun for others to pick on him. Michael starts off great but soon takes the self teasing too far, revealing painful childhood memories and the fact that he went to get a cell phone and he doesn't even have five friends to list in his calling circle. He breaks down and calls himself a loser, then says he went too far, goes into his office and slams the door.
Meredith gets a hold of the security guard at the company where Michael fell into the fountain. The entire office watches the DVD despite Jim's warning that they will have to suffer through another sensitivity training if they watch it. They think it's worth it and proceed to anyway. As they watch they see Michael lose his balance then Jim pulls away and let's Michael fall into the pond. Everyone is horrified by the knowledge that Jim let Michael fall on purpose. Jim takes Michael into the conference room and admits that he's jealous of Michael. He knows he's not the manager or salesman that Michael is but he'd like an opportunity to become one. Michael is shocked that Jim is jealous of him. He thinks Jim is the coolest person in the office and if Jim is jealous of him then that is a pretty big deal. Michael instantly forgives Jim and their bond of friendship is strengthened. It's good to be "bros" once more.
Meanwhile Pam and Andy are sent out on sales calls because they are the two sales people with the lowest sales numbers. Their prospects keep assuming that because Pam is pregnant and they are together the baby must be Andy's and they must be a couple. At the first sales call Pam laughs and says they are "definitely not a couple, definitely not, definitely." Andy accuses her of getting a case of the "definitelies." At their second sales call Andy corrects the man who just agreed to buy paper and proceeds to explain that he dates a model who is more beautiful than Gisele and she hasn't keep her figure for fashion week so they implanted their baby into Pam. He further emphasizes that no one cares what Pam looks like. Conclusion, sale blown. In the parking lot after Pam yells at him for blowing the sale Andy explains he was never going to make the sale. So there! The third sales call seems to be going great. They lie and allow the prospective customer to think that they are a couple. The woman asks if they have found a birthing coach. She recommends one by first name, Andy knows the woman's last name and is familiar with her practice. He agrees totally that they will go with the recommendation. Then he feels Pam's stomach and the baby kicks. He begins to cry and kiss Pam's tummy. This freaks out the client and results in another blown sale. All in a day's work.
On the drive back to the office Pam asks why Andy wanted to fantasize about Pam's baby being his. Andy admits that he wants a wife and a baby and the perfect life that Pam has. Pam asks if there is a girl in his life he might want to date. He says yes, Erin. Pam says she'll put in a good word for him and see if she's interested in a date.
Back at the office Pam mentions how great Andy is and Erin agrees. Erin says Andy is the coolest person she has ever met in her entire life. Pam says that Andy is very Marlon Brando. Erin asks Pam if she means Marlon Wayans. Pam agrees immediately that yes, in deed it was Marlon Wayans she meant after all. Cannot wait to see Andy and Erin dating. The word naïve doesn't even begin to cover what these two seem to be on their own, together they might explode and cover the office in cotton candy and rainbows. Get your raincoats ready.
by Erin MacMillan-RamirezThe Office
stars: Steve Carell
/ John Krasinski
/ Jenna Fischer
/ Rainn Wilson
/ B.J. Novak
/ Melora Hardin
/ Mindy Kaling
/ Brian Baumgartner
/ Leslie David Baker
/ Kate Flannery
/ Ed Helms
/ Angela Kinsey
/ Phyllis Smith
Image © NBC Photo: Trae Patton
Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez
Starpulse contributing writer