This week on "The Office" Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon and without Jim's level headedness the office is coming unglued. Michael starts the day off with a presentation about becoming an effective salesperson. Michael has written the word "fundamentals" on a dry/erase board. He has underlined the part of the word that spells mental. He says that the fundamentals of selling are fun so you'd have to be mental to not know this. Toby, of course, points out that the word fun is also in the word "fundamental." He is booed by the crowd and just as Michael is about to tell him to leave he does it for himself and goes back to his desk. Michael turns his attention back on the group and tells them that in order to effectively sell anything a salesperson must start with a firm hand shake and then move into small talk. He asks for some good examples of small talk. Andy gives a list of things that include golf, the stock market and Dave Mathews. Creed suggests small things like dimes or ball bearings. Meredith pipes in with, the weekend. Michael loves this answer and asks her to come to the front of the room. He asks her what she did over the weekend. Meredith says she caught her son taking a dump on the top of the toilet seat. She says he calls it an "upper decker." And that's where the training ended. Michael is very disappointed with the group. Her says, "What you people don't know about sales I could fill a book with." Ryan blurts out, "Then write one." Michael is confused so Ryan explains, "Write a book." After the meeting Michael is in his office holding a tape recorder and saying, "The fundamentals of selling by Michael Scott over one billion sold. More than the Bible, I'm not surprised," and then nothing. He can't think of a thing to put into an actual book. Do you think the writers are making a subtle point about people who think they know so much about writing and then when it comes down to it they really can't do it? Or Ryan was just trying to get out of a boring meeting.

Erin introduces Mr. Grotti to Michael as Michael walks in the door. Michael is frustrated with Erin. He tells her he has a very busy morning and she is supposed to be his gatekeeper. She says all he has planned is creative space, she thought this could be a part of it. Michael tells her she knows nothing of how creative space works. He says he'll push creative time to the afternoon and cancel what he had planned for the afternoon. She says all he had planned was free time. He says he'll have to have free time tomorrow morning. Then he welcomes Mr. Grotti and tells him he was just making sausage. Then he invites Mr. Grotti into the conference room to see a finished sausage. Smooth.

Mr. Grotti makes a horrible sales presentation to Michael. Michael tells camera that there's nothing more insulting to a great salesperson than having to listen to a bad salesperson. He says it's like a great basketball player having to listen to a bad basketball player.

Meanwhile Kevin has moved into Jim's office while he's on his honeymoon. Kevin admits he initially went into Jim's office just to fart but he didn't want to leave after a while. It feels like home. He loves Jim's office more than his own home. His house sucks.

Dwight and Andy decide that Mr. Grotti is suspicious. As Mr. Grotti leaves he warns Michael about all the possible dangers in life saying, "God forbid the warehouse burn down." Michael agrees saying, "Yeah, all that paper." Mr. Grotti takes his coat off the coat rack and pulls the entire rack down. Erin and Michael grown as Erin helps pick up the rack and fallen coats. Mr. Grotti covers his faux pas with a joke saying, "Look at that, the unpredictability of life."

Once Mr. Grotti's gone. Dwight and Andy try to convince Michael that he was a mobster. Oscar tries to inject reason into the situation but that doesn't work. Oscar tells camera that since Jim and Pam are on their honeymoon and Toby has mentally checked out since June there's really no one besides himself who is reasonable left in the office.

Toby is interviewed and the interviewer tells him what Oscar said. Toby's answer is a shrug of his shoulders and the word, "Huh."

The office decides that since the gentleman's name is Grotti then he must be related to John Gotti. Oscar calls Jim, on his honeymoon, to ask him how he usually handles situations like this. Pam takes the phone and tells Oscar that they are on their honeymoon and unless someone very close to them is in immediate physical danger then he is not to call them. And she hangs up.

Andy and Dwight advise Michael in his office as to how to handle the situation. Andy tells Michael to give into a bully as he has for his entire life. Dwight says he has been a bully his whole life and the only way to handle one is to stand up to them. He says it's like dealing with a raccoon. If you feed it cat food pretty soon the raccoon will be back for the whole cat.

They decide to meet Mr.Grotti in a public place in order to flush him out. The meet Mr. Grotti at an Olive Garden for lunch. Andy decides to dress up like a mechanic so he can bring a tire iron into the restaurant in case they need a weapon. At lunch Mr. Grotti orders linguini with red sauce on the side, if it comes with the sauce on top he'll send it back, if the garlic bread comes burnt he'll send it back. During lunch a woman asks for help from "Pat" the mechanic. Andy leaves to try and help jump start her car. He puts the charges on wrong and fries her car. Then he tells her she can get his partner to help her because he only works on motorcycles. Michael decides to sign the paperwork and buy insurance that only costs, "the price of a cup of coffee an hour."

Back at the office Michael regrets his decision but he's scared to stand up to the supposed mafia kingpin. Andy and Dwight convince Michael that Mr. Grotti is clean. Michael calls Mr. Grotti up and tells him off. Afterwards Dwight and Andy reveal their master plan and ask Michael how he feels after standing up to the mob? Michael entertains the office with his recounted tale of triumph. It's nothing like what really happened but it makes Michael feel good about himself and that's all that really matters. He yells at Erin to get go get him coffee. She gets up to go to the kitchen. He says no, he wants it from the corner gas station, Stop'n'Shop. If it's not Stop'n'Shop he's sending it back. He wants a large. If it's a medium or a large he'll send it back. Erin stops and ask, "How do you return coffee?" Michael says, "Just go."

While the office is distracted by the mob Kevin took a phone call meant for Jim. Jim's credit card company called to tell him there was suspicious activity on his card. They ask for his address and the last four digits of his social security number. Since Kevin has been snooping around Jim's office he has found this information and pretends to be Jim. Once the credit card lady confirms that Jim is in his office and not in Puerto Rico she cancels his card and sends him out a new one right away. Oops. Kevin feels bad about committing identity theft but look on the bright side even if Jim and Pam have to use a raft to get back to America their honeymoon will be free after the credit card company refunds their fraudulent charges. Kevin calls Pam to see if they know what happened. Pam is very upset. She's dealing with their credit card being canceled and she really can't handle Kevin calling in the middle of it all. Kevin tells Pam to tell Jim he said hi. Pam says she will, she will make it her top priority. If only you could hear the sarcasm is her voice this would make it so much sweeter. Kevin gets off the phone, eats some candy and gloats, "They have no idea what happened." Who's the kingpin now?

Image © NBC Universal, Inc.

Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez

Starpulse contributing writer