Michael, Dwight and Andy decide to engage in a round of Parkour. Parkour is the art moving from one place to another along a predetermined route in the most efficient way possible and as if there is an emergency of some kind in progress. Michael, Dwight and Andy have the brilliant idea to employ the art of Parkour around the office in the most inefficient way possible. After reeking havoc all over the interior of the office they decide to take it to the roof. The plan is to jump off the roof, bounce off of a refrigerator box onto a car and back flip 360 into a dumpster. A perfect plan, if you want to go to the hospital. Andy prepares and jumps and plows right through the wooden crate and into the refrigerator box. Not good.
has been enjoying a summer of free college interns. Since this is the last day they will enjoy free help Dwight makes sure to make the female intern do as many demeaning things as possible.
Jim and Pam have decided not to tell anyone about their pregnancy. Pam doesn't want people to think that her Father will have a shotgun in his hand while he walks her down the aisle. Jim realizes that there won't a shotgun and tells Pam that there's nothing holding him to her now, he's free. She says he can stop anytime.
Michael hears that Eric, the intern likes, Megan, the other intern. Dwight says knows, Eric has been pursuing her all summer, she finally said yes and they went on their first date. Michael tells camera that he hates being left out of things. Like not being picked for team sports or being picked for an imaginary sport like Poopball and showing up and being the only one who was there. So sad.
Michael mentions to the other intern that he knows how it feels to be the third wheel on a group date. The intern asks him how he knows that and then tells Michael that Stanley must have told him. He says he saw Stanley at the club dancing with his wife and he waived but Stanley ignored him. Michael asks if anyone else knows about this. He says no.
Michael is giddy over knowing something no one else knows. He tells Dwight, Phyllis and Jim that Stanley is having a mid-life crisis and was seen dancing with his wife at a club for young people. Phyllis says that's not possible because Teri, Stanley's wife, is out of town at an interior decorator's convention. She chastises Michael and tells him to check his facts. Michael goes back to the intern and yells at him for setting him up. The intern insists that Stanley was out with a woman and it wasn't his sister because what they were doing would be considered illegal. Michael says, "What drugs?" The interns reply, no, making-out.
Michael proceeds to tell the entire office that Stanley is having an affair. Jim tells Michael to make sure what he's saying is true or else he's ruining someone's life. Michael confronts Stanley as he's driving away to go to a sales call. Stanley confesses to having an affair and says he was going to meet Cynthia in order to break it off right then. Michael wonders if other people do personal business instead of going on actual sales calls.
Michael realizes that he has told everyone about the affair and Stanley has asked him not to tell. Michael asks camera, "How do you untell something. You don't." So he makes up a series of false rumors in order to distract from the affair rumor and to throw people off the trail. He figures if he can get people to believe the lies and then reveal them as lies he will be able to discount the affair rumor as well.
His plan works. By the end of the day the office thinks that Kelly was at one time anorexic (in reality the actress/writer who plays Kelly really battled anorexia), Andy is gay, Jim and Pam are pregnant, Oscar is the voice of the Taco Bell Chihuahua and someone in the office is a model for J. Crew. Andy goes around asking everyone if they think he is gay because he's not sure if he's completely straight anymore.
B.J. Novak as Ryan Howard, Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesly © NBC Photo: Chris Haston
The office traces all the rumors back to Michael and then they confront him. He confesses that he was trying to protect someone in the office from the truth getting out so he made up a bunch of lies in order to distract people. This way no one would know what was true. He says only one of the rumors is true. Phyllis demands to know which one it is. She says they have a right to know. As Michael is going to tell on Stanley Jim and Pam figure out something is up and reveal their pregnancy to save Stanley. It works until Michael tries to "fall on the sword" by telling everyone that it was Stanley. Jim says no it's true and they can prove it. He brings in a sonogram. Everyone congratulates them.
Michael brings them into his office and chastises them for not telling him as soon as he knew. Pam says yes, "We didn't realize how much a part of this you really were." Then Teri calls for Michael in the middle of their conversation. Michael answers and asks Cynthia to hold. Ooops. Turns out Teri had caught Stanley once before and told him to end the affair, which he did. But Cynthia wouldn't stop calling. Also turns out that Cynthia is married too. Stanley decides it's productive to smash out all of Michael's car windows and headlights. Michael says he can't stand in the way of love and really no one should.
Meanwhile Jim tapes the picture of the sonogram over a frame and places it on his desk. And the interns share what they've learned. Third wheel says he learned that a company can describe their internship as "full of exciting experiences" even if it's a lie, there's no regulations covering that. Megan learns that people's password is "password." Eric says he learned that a ream of paper is 300 sheets. Megan corrects him, "It's 500." Eric replies, "Oh I guess I learned nothing." Third wheel says he learned that if you look the tiniest bit like Jet Li, Michael will call you Jet Li for the entire summer. Megan raises her hand and says, "Julia Stiles." Eric follows with, "Alan Thick." Oh Michael sad doesn't begin to cover it.
The Office stars: Steve Carell
/ John Krasinski
/ Jenna Fischer
/ Rainn Wilson
/ B.J. Novak
/ Melora Hardin
/ Mindy Kaling
/ Brian Baumgartner
/ Leslie David Baker
/ Kate Flannery
/ Ed Helms
/ Angela Kinsey
/ Phyllis Smith
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Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez
Starpulse contributing writer