What happened in the wide, wonderful world of celebrity news & gossip today? Here's a quick recap of the top stories in Starpulse News for Monday, August 17, 2009:

Doug Reinhardt Spoils Paris Hilton - Paris was spoiled long before Doug came into the picture...

Cradle Of Filth End Set After Guitarist Is Injured By Fan - In the fan's defense, the festival they were playing at was called "Bloodstock"...

Jessica Simpson's Father Denies 'American Idol' Judge Rumors - Thank. God.

Hugh Grant And Sarah Jessica Parker Couldn't 'Bear' With Co-Star's Treatment - Hugh Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker and a bear starring in a film. Should be a winner...

Michael Jackson's Body Reportedly Frozen & Moved To A Secret Crypt - Michael Jackson: now in your grocer's frozen food section...

Michael Phelps Cited For Driving Without A License After Car Accident - He'll be starring in a remake of "Above The Law" soon...

Slideshow: Fall 2009 'Dancing With The Stars' Cast Revealed - Does anyone else feel that they should just re-title the show "Dancing With The Former Stars'?

Robert Pattinson Blames Twitter For Privacy Invasion - He says it lets obsessive fans know where he is constantly. Twitter does. IT lets obsessive fans know where he is constantly. We guess it just knows...

Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston Inspired 'The Time Traveler's Wife' - So their marriage only got two stars out of four?

Slideshow: Female Celebrities With Stunning Body Assets - We put this link last because we kno-- oh fine, you already clicked it...

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