What happened in the wide, wonderful world of celebrity news & gossip today? Here's a quick recap of the top stories in Starpulse News for Thursday, August 13, 2009:

PETA Pounces On Adam Sandler's 'Zookeeper' - They say abusive training methods are used to coerce animals into performing acts that are stressful, uncomfortable, confusing and even painful. Must be like getting flour-bombed by PETA...

Pamela Anderson Refuses To Leave Trailer Park - You can take the girl out of the tr-- no, wait; you can take the trailer park out of th-- no, that doesn't work either...

Kourtney Kardashian Expecting First Child - In related news, her new show premieres Sunday night at 10pm on E! That's Sunday night at 10 on E!...

Slideshow: Celebrity Baby Watch Summer 2009 - Wow, Bill Hader's pregnant? Who knew?

Khloe Kardashian: 'I Don't Do Drugs' - Seriously mom, it's not mine; I was just holding it for someone...

Lady Gaga Says Hermaphrodite Rumors Are 'Ridiculous' - Seriously, leave her (him?) alone...

'Family Guy' Cast Performs Abortion Episode - Which basically means that Seth MacFarlane had a one man show...

'America's Next Top Model' Cycle 13 Pictures - Who's Hottest? - Do we really have to choose one?

Joe Jonas' Tyson Haircut Was A Prank - Well that's obvious. Did you really think they'd allow Mike Tyson to have a sharp object anywhere near Joe Jonas' ears?

Guitar Legend Les Paul Dies At Age 94 - There would be no Rock & Roll without Les...

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