Oh em gee, "True Blood," why do you have to hurt your fans every single week with insane cliffhangers? How are we supposed to carry on for seven whole days? It's cruel and unusual punishment. Boy did a lot happen this week, so let's get right to it. There is a new character to worship on the show, and it is actually possible he's better than his child. What? Someone better than Eric, screams the fangirls? Why yes, because Godric is just that awesome.

Last week Godric appeared to save Sookie just at the right time, and this week it starts off right from there. Eric comes to help his maker, and Godric very gently asks him to get Sookie out of the church and hurt no one. Eric's like WTF, but he doesn't argue. Even after Eric's wacky hick impression, he does manage to get captured in the church by Steve and his gang of religious nuts. This means Sookie continues to be in big trouble, but with all the silver coming out, Eric's in a bit of a bind himself!

Back at the hotel, Lorena decides to snack on Barry and tempt Bill to join her. That chick will never learn that no means no. She gets distracted by how his telepath blood tastes differently, and Bill beats her over the head with the television. Then he goes to rescue his lady love, but gets caught up in the Eric drama. Eric thinks sacrificing himself will save Godric, and it's right about then that Steve puts a gun to Sookie's head and all the vampires in Dallas show up. Teeeeense!

But we have a hero to save the day, and that happens to be Jason freaking Stackhouse. Finally! After floundering for a season and a half, all it takes is him finding out that someone is messing with his sister, and bam, he's the man we all secretly hoped he would be. He pushes away crazy Sarah, since she actually just shot him with a paintball gun, takes the jeep, and goes back to save his sister. He then shoots Steve in the hand and forehead with the paintball gun, just distracting everyone enough that Godric can step in and calm the masses. The young actor who plays Godric, Allan Hyde, just radiates power and calm control. It's really rather impressive. He lets the humans leave without any bloodshed, and then throws a party back at his nest ... and everyone's invited!

Even Jason, who finds that now he has plenty of friends in the vampire community. This leads him to interrupt a new fight with Sookie and Bill (over why he didn't come to save her), and then give Bill his official blessing. Then a hug. It's a very awkward and sweet moment. Lorena then shows up to cause a little drama and Jerry Springer call-out Sookie, but Sookie throws it right back to her. And then some. Godric stops her when she gets violent, and then asks Bill to remove her from the property.

Godric and Eric have a beautiful conversation about their kind just before he throws Lorena out, and it seems like Godric is very sad with his race. He's lived too long and just wants peace between humans and vampires. He feels vampires have not evolved and only become more brutal, and this is painful for him. His gentleness and lack of bloodlust only cement the fact that he will probably die very soon, because no one can be that powerful and wise and live long on this show. Then things will actually get resolved way too quickly! This becomes apparent when Luke walks into the nest and reveals a silver-strapped bomb on his chest. BOOM goes Godric's party, and probably plenty of vampires inside. Bill and Lorena were on the outside, and Luke made Jason leave before he did anything. Everyone else was inside. AHHHH! Dear Alan Ball, please do not kill Godric just yet. He's fascinating and deserves more screen time. Pretty please?

Meanwhile back in Bon Temps, Lafayette tries to tell Tara she's going on a bad path with tarot cards. Eggs freaks out because his memory is wiped again and then in one of the grossest scenes on this show, Maryann cuts up Daphne's heart and starts to cook it. And then she feeds it to Tara and Eggs. So so so so wrong. Oh I feel sick just writing it. She does manage for Sam to be blamed for Daphne's death by leaving the body in his freezer, and he's placed into jail. Dude, Sam, you might just want to skip town. It might not be worth it at this point!

"True Blood" is on HBO Sunday nights at 9 PM EST.

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Image © Home Box Office

Story by Chelsea Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer

Follow Chelsea on twitter at http://twitter.com/mustbethursday.