What happened in the wide, wonderful world of celebrity news & gossip today? Here's a quick recap of the top stories in Starpulse News for Friday, July 31, 2009:

Seth Rogen Criticizes Former Co-Star Katherine Heigl - Pwned.

Eminem 'Warns' Mariah Carey In Shocking New Track - One would think the stuff he says they did (only one time) in the lyrics would be more embarrassing for him than her...

The Speidi Sham - One of our writers can see right through their shenanigans...

'Seinfeld' Cast To Reunite On 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' - Yada, yada, yada...

Kanye West Claims King Of Pop Crown - But Run-DMC are still the kings of rock, and there is none higher... It's not Michael Jackson and this is not 'Thriller'...

It Costs $25,000 An Episode For Jessica Simpson To Look Good - It would cost them $25,000 an episode to get us to watch it, too...

Paul McCartney Plans His Final Tour - Ah, Sir Paul is finally ready to embark on his first final tour...

'Jon & Kate' Returns Monday With Separate Interview Couches - You're not going to want to sit on Jon's couch, there's no telling what's been done on it and with whom...

ABC's 'Defying Gravity' Features Sex In Space & More - Sexxxx... iiin... Spaaaaaaaace...

Rachelle Lefevre To Take Legal Action Over 'Twilight' Ousting - Yes, she'll go after producers for the breach in her contract. That she created.

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