So you know how on "Weeds" Nancy played house with Esteban for six months and started to think he probably wasn't going to kill her? Yeah, that foolish thinking is gone now. With the help of the beautiful Spanish-speaking woman last week, named Pilar, Esteban cannot marry Nancy until he follows through on his political plans. He sets up the creepiest home-birthing room, which is intentionally Rosemary's Baby-like in intentions, and Nancy realizes how much danger she truly is in now. Which is a lot. If she has the baby at home, with no birth certificate and no witnesses, it is easy for the father to snatch the child and take her out.

This truth is explained by Andy to Alanis Morissette, but you say, how did she get Andy to come back when he swore he'd have nothing to do with helping her? Because it's Nancy. She told him Esteban was dead so he came flying to gloat over her lover's dead body, and instead she begs him to steal her away from the house. It's only after she offers to give him a little something-something that Andy realizes how desperate and terrified she is, so he agrees. He tells her he is trying to get over it and wants to move on and have a family of his own. Doing all this is definitely not helping him move in that direction. Nor is that awful beard of his.

In the drug portion of the show, Silas and Doug are having partnership problems because Doug is being an irresponsible idiot, and Silas is tired of it. He really should've thought of this beforehand. Dean would've been a much better decision, which is what he goes for when he brings Dean in to represent him in court. Doug makes his peace with Silas, but they still have that troublesome dirty cop to worry about. He extorts much more money from them, but then he gets taken down by Internal Affairs. One of their workers was an undercover cop all along. What this means for the store remains to be seen, but Silas and Doug aren't being cuffed with him. So maybe they're safe? It could be Silas has inherited his mother's knack for getting out of bad situations.

Image © CBS

Celia has joined a motivational seminar, which is basically BSing her that she can be a successful business woman without any training just by wanting it enough. They spot her the money, but Celia's not great at that. The only one who makes anything out of her selling failure is Isabelle, because she meets a pretty girl who liked her TV commercials. Cute. Celia bonds with Shane as he gives her a foot massage and says he wants to get away from his mother, then he suggests she sells weed. At least someone on this show will be doing that again.

And how does it end? Esteban and Ignacio come flying into the hospital and prepare to kidnap her right out of it, but the deed has been done. The baby boy is born and Esteban's evil little heart warms at the sight of him. You managed to scrape by just barely this time, Nance. Now you can start neglecting your newest son.

"Weeds" is on Showtime Monday nights at 10 PM EST.

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Weeds Cast: Mary-Louise Parker, Elizabeth Perkins, Kevin Nealon, Justin Kirk, Tonye Patano, Romany Malco, Hunter Parrish, Alexander Gould, Andy Milder, Allie Grant, more


Story by Chelsea 'Dee' Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer

Follow Chelsea on twitter at http://twitter.com/mustbethursday.