What happened in the wide, wonderful world of celebrity news & gossip today? Here's a quick recap of the top stories in Starpulse News for today, Wednesday, July 1, 2009:

Aunt Says Robert Pattinson Shouldn't Date 'Twilight' Co-Star - Whoops, thought she was talking about Taylor Lautner...

Jonas Brothers Trashed Hotel Room - Reports said that all the toilet paper was pulled off the roll and they colored on the walls with Crayolas...

Statement: Jon and Kate Gosselin Will No Longer Be Making Statements - "I don't have to talk, either, man! See how you like it. Just total f----n' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence."

Doctors Says Courtney Love Is Malnourished - Oh, is that all?

Is A Dermatologist The Father Of Michael Jackson's Kids? - And wouldn't that be the most ironic story of the century...

Alec Baldwin To Be The Next Governor Of Ohio? - His campaign slogan can be "What's 'hi' in the middle, round on the sides, and leans all the way to the left?"

Unexpected, Untimely And Shocking Deaths In Music - Put the ham sandwich down before reading this one.

R. Kelly Investigated For Dating Underage Girl? - And the 'Didn't Learn Anything Last Time Award' goes to...

Curvy Jessica Simpson Boldly Wears Horizontal Stripes - Wow, and they let her sing, too?

Hotel Paid Lindsay Lohan $70,000 For Birthday Party - Like she said yesterday, she's a workaholic...

Bradley Cooper Ends Aniston Romance Rumors With Zellweger Date - Ohh, so the three of them are dating each other!

Michael Jackson's 'Morphine' Song Lyrics About Demerol Addiction & Death? - Wow, Jacko had a song about drugs. Who knew?

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R. Kelly shows us the only age that he won't date

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