Robert Pattinson Tops Celebrities Who Look Like They Need A Shower
June 15th, 2009 10:00am EDT
*Sniff sniff* Ew. What's that smell? Garbage? Rotten eggs? Dead skunk in the middle of the road? Nope. Think again. That foul odor is coming from the convoy of stale smelling celebrities who can't seem to find a spare second in their busy schedules for even a quickie hose-down. And according to the latest gossip from "The Insider" and "Celebitchy," dreamy-eyed Robert Pattinson is the alpha male of this pungent pack. Apparently, Robert's aura, which was kept in shipshape form during his Cedric Diggory days, is now in need of a bit of a dusting. Rub-a-dub-dub, R-Patz needs to get in the tub! "The Insider" reports that sources working in close quarters with Pattinson on the set of the "Twilight" sequel, "New Moon," have complained that Robert balks at bathing the way a vampire does sunlight. "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy," carps one annoyed crew member. Perhaps Robert has taken the compliments on his unkempt, meringue-like hair-do too strongly to heart and has decided to forego sanitation all together.
Another rather surprising celebrity who has been smelling a little musty these days is Julia Roberts. Ms. Roberts may generally appear well groomed and polished, but evidently, you don't want to be caught standing downwind from this pretty stinky woman. According to "Times of the Internet," an ex-body guard of the 41 year old Oscar winner dished that, "Julia is a total hippie. She'll go days without showering. She likes the smell of her natural oils." The former employee (a.k.a. Tattle-Tale McGee) went on to reveal that Julia skimps on the showers because she's got a heart greener than a wasabi-dipped Kermit the Frog and is trying to conserve H20. That's very noble and all, but just how many days sans shower are we talking here? After awhile, fruit flies are going to start flocking to Ms. Roberts and her "natural oils" as if she were the holy grail for expired produce.
While Julia still manages to appear spruced and well kempt in spite of her eco-friendly, anti-shower policy, celebrities like Mary-Kate Olsen and Amy Winehouse often resemble dope-fiend bag ladies regardless of whether or not they have recently bathed. There was a time when Mary-Kate, with her limp, lo mein noodle hair and piles of over-sized, grungy sweaters, looked more like something you'd pull out of a shower drain than a young starlet with a bank account overflowing with funds for all the spa treatments and designer clothes that she could possibly want. And then there's Amy Winehouse - quelle disaster. Mary-Kate is at least capable of pulling her hygienic act together and of looking nice on occasion. Miss Winehouse, on the other hand, is an entirely different basket of dirty laundry. Her dilapidated appearance and out of kilter grooming habits are downright tragic - the likes of which have not been seen since Courtney Love at her most Kinderwhoretastic.
Personal appearance is a crucial element of a celebrity's life, so you would think that most if not all celebrities would be keen to invest at least a small chunk of change in maintaining a respectable level of personal upkeep. Unfortunately, however, this is not always the case. While some celebs sidestep showers for ecological reasons, others claim they just don't have the time. Really though, there is no excuse. Even if you are one of those celebrities with a mean case of the greens, there are ways to keep fresh without being wasteful. Take a lesson from Brad Pitt, who recently shared a valuable tip with his "Inglourious Basterds" co-star, Eli Roth, who was starting to smell a little ripe on set. Brad told him, "Baby wipes, man, baby wipes. I got six kids. All you've got to do is just take them, a couple quick wipes under the pits. Man, I'm getting pissed on all day. I don't have time to take a shower." Baby wipes come in the biodegradable variety too so bite your tongues, tree huggers! Bottom line, where there's a will to be clean, there's a way. This isn't the medieval times, so c'mon all you little stinkers, bust out your favorite rubber ducky and get your dirty acts together!
Images © PR Photos
Story by Michaela Zanello
Starpulse contributing writer
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