Random Thoughts While Waiting for the American Idol Contestants to Start Singing:

-So it's big band night, or Rat Pack night as they're calling it. They do this every year. I'm not sure why. At least the first year we were at the tail end of the swing revival. Now they keep it up just because of tradition, even though nobody on the show will ever record anything resembling a big band record. Some traditions need to die, and this is a prime candidate for the chopping block. Of course, it's also the night with best music all year.

-So Paula's dress with its large ribbons on the chest makes her look like Jessica Rabbit got breast reduction surgery but never changed dresses.

-Wouldn't it be a total surprise if this mystery mentor were Frank Sinatra? That would really be amazing! Even more amazing is the fact that Matt Giraud associated Rod Stewart with big band in his impromptu mentor guessing game. I don't know if this is a demonstration of how little the contestants know about music or how far Stewart has fallen since his peak as a rock star.

-Of course, the secret mentor is Jamie Foxx. Anybody who saw David Letterman this week had the mild surprise spoiled for them. And what a perfect choice for Rat Pack night right? Because. . . he played Ray Charles? More like he just had a movie open last Friday.

-Jamie Foxx just asked if he could say the word "gangsters" on "American Idol." This received the most forced laughter this side of a Milton Berle routine. The sad thing is, the editors probably chose his best joke to air on the finished show.

-Since the producers have decided to make everyone wait through a commercial for the show to start, I'm going to take the opportunity to mention that "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" looks like the worst movie ever made. Anybody who sees this trailer featuring Matthew McConaughey once again sleepwalking, Jennifer Garner being victimized by the latent sexism in Hollywood, and Michael Douglas rocking the worst movie hair this side of Nicolas Cage in "Valley Girl" and says to themselves, "Gee, I'd really like to go see that movie!" Please do us all a favor and at least sneak in the backdoor so Hollywood will stop making this garbage.

And now on with the show!

Kris Allen Sang "Something About the Way You Look Tonight"

Jamie said: This dude is a dude I'd do a record with.
Randy
said: I think this is your best performance to date. (He also referred to this classic standard as a "joint".)
Kara said: Tonight you have set the technical standard so incredibly high for this evening. (She also called him a dark horse even though he's arguably the favorite. I don't think she knows the meaning of that term.)
Paula said: You made the move from cute boy next door to distinguished gentleman.
Simon said: It was safe, quite nice, but not incredible. I didn't get the feeling from you that you can win this competition.

The Verdict:

Kris Allen sounds like a young pop singer trying to do a big band song. Probably because that's what he is.

He doesn't do anything special with it, just a very nice vocal and solid performance that never surpasses karaoke in a suit with a live band onstage. Of course, they have karaoke with live bands now, so maybe we should just keep this as really good karaoke.

Grade: B

Prediction: There was scarcely a syllable that escaped his mouth without a squeal coming from the audience. He's a near lock for the finals.

Allison Iraheta Sang "Someone to Watch Over Me"

Jamie said: In-Credible.
Randy said: You look like Brittany Murphy (this was ostensibly a compliment) You sound like Pink but with a million more octaves. That was the bomb.
Kara said: That was a gut-wrenching, emotional, way-beyond-your-years rendition.
Paula said: Both alluring and very tender.
Simon said: I though it was a great performance, but I have a horrible feeling you could be in trouble tonight.

The Verdict:

This is an excellent song choice for Allison. Its melancholy jazz melody allows her to find the blues within and mold her voice around it. She sounds like a cross between Bonnie Raitt and Pat Benatar with an elegantly controlled performance that best suits the sophisticated theme of the evening while allowing her to rock out a little bit.

Grade: A-

Prediction: She seemed set to cruise into next week until Simon gave her the "I think you're in trouble" kiss of death. I didn't think she was in trouble until he said that, now I'm starting to agree with acerbic Brit.

Matt Giraud Sang "My Funny Valentine"

Jamie said: If he changes the key and sings it in his full voice he might nab number one.
Randy said: A little bit pitchy. It didn't all quite come together for me.
Kara said: I didn't feel you were emotionally connected to it.
Paula said: I love what you did with the song.
Simon said: It was the only believable, authentic song I've heard tonight. I thought you were absolutely brilliant.

The Verdict:

I honestly have no idea what to make of this performance. It concurrently seems like a 70-year-old man singing in the corner of a smoky lounge somewhere and a smooth revival recording ready to hit the radio. Matt's voice both fits the track beautifully while it seems horribly out of place. This was a very weird performance for me; I couldn't quite grasp on to either the lackluster or exceptional portions of the song. I blame myself.

Grade: C

Prediction: The reverse of Allison. Seemed like a goner until Simon feted him to no end. It's nice that the producers realized after a season of bad judge ordering that it's best for Simon to go last every time.

Danny Gokey Sang "Come Rain or Come Shine"

Jamie said: Jamie stood and stared at his face the whole time. What an awful mentor.
Randy said: You could actually have an album of songs like that.
Kara said: You had swag tonight. (Really Kara? He had a bag full of free stuff?)
Paula said: I'm going to keep this short: Stellar. (Then she rambled for two paragraphs)
Simon said: That was outstanding.

The Verdict:

Here's the deal with Danny: He's got a killer voice. That's it. He has zero stage presence, no ability to interpret the song and not an ounce of showmanship. He may as well be sitting in a chair behind a curtain when he sings. It's great to have an excellent voice but when you put absolutely nothing into your performance it's impossible to get too excited.

Tonight, he blew that theory out of the water with the close of his performance. Where, after a typically mundane Gokey rendition, he ripped himself out from behind the microphone working his voice and body like a 700-pound jazz singer on an old-timey radio microphone. I swear I meant that as a compliment.

Now he just has to do that for an entire song.

Grade: B+

Prediction: So unbelievably safe. That was easily his best performance so far and he absolutely brought the house down.

Adam Lambert Sang "Feeling Good"

Jamie said: He's gonna knock everybody's head off.
Randy said: A little theatrical, but you were in the zone.
Kara said: My mouth drops open every time you perform. Shocking in a good way.
Paula said: You make me feel better than good. (Would that be "great" Paula?)
Simon said: I get the feeling that you want to win and prove a point.

The Verdict:

So Adam looks like a character from one of those movies where the Angels in heaven all wear suits. No, he looks like an Elvis impersonator in drag. Wait wait wait, he looks like Colonel Sanders' emo nephew. No he doesn't. He looks exactly like the emcee at a Burlesque show on Halloween.

Wait, I was wrong all along. He looks like a guy who just absolutely crushed, obliterated, destroyed, murdered, cremated and buried that song. Just an absolute decimation. In other words, he looks like an undertaker at a funeral home on the Vegas Strip.

Grade: A

Prediction: Safest prediction in the world: Adam will be around next week.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Despite a theme that has long run its course, tonight delivered more sparkling results from the contestants. Normally, I get sick of watching "Idol" at this point in the show because it just seems like a slow winding down to an inevitable conclusion. Now it's more like a televised concert each night that happens to take place within the confines of a competition. Plus, unlike other years, there is no lock to win. There isn't even a lock to make the final three.

As for this week, it seems that Allison is on her way out. This may seem crazy given her exceptional performance, but it's impossible to ignore the seal of disapproval Simon gave her chances. If it's not her, it will be Matt who got bad marks from two of the judges but Simon's biggest vote of confidence all evening.

One of those two will go. When in doubt, go with Simon.

Story by Andrew Payne

Starpulse contributing writer