Michael, Pam and Ryan are getting up at 4:30 in the morning and making paper deliveries for The Michael Scott Paper Company
. As Michael says, "Nothing to fear, I'm just a forty-four year old man with a paper route." Michael yells out of van window to Pam, "Time to make the donuts!" Then tells Jim he's going to call the "boner patrol." Pam explains that they are using their "new" to them van t make deliveries. They bought it from a used car lot and they think the side says, "Alleluia Church of Scranton" on the side. Their other choice was an old school bus with an owl living in it. As they make their deliveries Pam asks Michael if he brought any coffee with him. Michael hands her a 64-ounce thermal mug and says, "Milk and sugar." Pam thanks him and says he's a lifesaver until she takes a sip and says in shock, "Wait is this just milk and sugar?" Michael agrees saying, "That's what I said." Pam asks, "Do you drink this everyday?" Michael answers, "Every morning." Michael explains to camera that things are going well and they have about twenty, and then an older Korean lady tries to climb into their van. Pam tries to explain that it's no longer the van that takes people to church. The woman is confused and stubborn.
Charles announces that Dunder Mifflin has lost ten of their top clients in the last month to The Michael Scott Paper Company. They're bleeding profit and they need to save money. Charles sends a memo out to the office telling them to look for ways to cut costs. Angela comes into his office and announces that she is putting her foot down about expense reports because, "waste not want not." Charles has no idea what they mean but he tells her she's doing a good job anyway.
Michael thinks his company should look into getting some couches for their super tiny office. Pam and Ryan think a delivery guy is a much better idea. Michael thinks they should build a loft in The Office
so they have a bed on top and desks underneath, like a dorm room. Ryan thinks dorms in real life don't have lofts. Michael thinks they do in all the pictures he sees of dorm rooms. Pam still thinks they need a delivery guy. Ryan wants to know how much one costs. Michael thinks they should look into it or they should go for the loft.
David Wallace arrives in the Dunder Mifflin office and is greeted by the new receptionist. Jim says a casual hello as Dwight announces, very loudly, the arrival of, "David Wallace! We have been expecting you!" Charles comes out of his office rather quickly and asks David how his drive to Scranton was for him. David says it was nothing like staying in Scranton for a month. Charles says he loves Scranton and the people are the "salt of the Earth." He says he can't think of a better way to learn a company than this. He says he feels like he should be thanking David. Cut to Jim addressing camera and making a long, loud sucking, kissing noise. Cut back to David making an announcement to the whole office. David says it's no secret that Michael Scott Paper has taken a lot of their customers but that they will figure out what to do and solve the problem. Phyllis says all of this could have been avoided it he had just returned Michael's phone call. David says he has thought a lot about that and realizes she is right. Then he asks Jim to join them in the conference room. Charles tells David that Dwight has been his man and that he shows promise but that Jim has been a disappointment. So David says to bring them both in. Charles calls for Dwight, oh yeah and Jim. Dwight nudges Jim and says, "Come on, after thought."
Michael, Pam and Ryan sit down with their accountant to see how much they can pay a deliveryman. Their accountant tells them that they can't afford to pay a deliveryman anything. He asks them why they think Staples and Dunder Mifflin charge so much for paper. Pam says, "Corporate greed?" He tries to explain that there's not enough profit in their prices to keep them in business. Ryan says he ran the numbers and over time they'll make a profit. The accountant says that's with a fixed cost price model that's correct but they need to use a variable cost model. They need to factor in things like hiring a delivery guy, adding health care benefits, expanding their business. As they make more money, they will spend more money and at their current prices they will earn no profit. In fact, they're putting themselves out of business. Michael tries to explain that their low prices are the only thing keeping them in business. The accountant says they're actually putting them out of business. Michael tells his accountant to, "crunch the numbers again." The accountant tries to argue but stops and just pushes a button then says, "crunched." Pam asks if it helped, he says no. They drive back to their office and stop at a red light. A Korean lady gets into their van to go to church. No one says anything. They just close the door and keep on driving.
Michael makes a desperate phone call to his clients to ask them to pay more money for their deliveries. Pam explains to camera that when a child gets behind the wheel and drives a car into a tree, you don't blame the child. No, you blame the 35 year-old woman who got in the passenger seat, handed the child the keys and said, "Let's go kid."
Jim suggests that perhaps Dunder Mifflin could authorize a temporary price cut to entice their customers back. Charles and Dwight think that's a stupid idea. Dwight says they fill Michael's office with bees. Charles looks at him like he's nuts. David suggests a five-minute break. Jim visits Pam on his break. She tells him they're out of business. Jim tells her everything will be okay. Pam says that is exactly what Michael said. Jim says, "Yes but this time it really will be." Dwight calls Jim's cell phone, Dwight's voice can be heard saying, "Idiot," over and over again. Jim explains that it's his new Dwight ring-tone. Pam likes it. Dwight is just calling to call Jim an idiot and tell him that their break is over. Jim reminds Pam again not to worry about anything.
Michael sits on the floor of his office and says, "Did I ever tell you about the day Steve Martin died?" Pam says Steve Martin is not dead. Michael says, "I know but I always thought that would be the worst day of my life and I was wrong, this is." A little insight into Steve Carrel's life. Pam reveals that she tried to get a part-time, weekend job at Wal-mart, Target or Old Navy to earn extra money for the wedding and none of them called her back, not even for an interview. Ryan admits he never went to Thailand, he just went to Fort Lauderdale and it was amazing. But he was being sarcastic.
Dwight keeps trying to push the bee idea to the group. David says the cheapest option is to make Michael an offer. We saw this coming a couple of weeks ago and it's so nice to see it pay off. Dwight thinks it would be great if Michael had children then they could really apply the pressure. David sends Jim down to see if Michael would be interested in hearing an offer.
Jim asks Michael if his, "incredibly successful business would consider hearing an offer." Michael needs a minute to get what Jim is saying and them says yes. Jim says he will see, "you Titans of industry upstairs." Michael replies, "We're not just tight-ends, we're quarterbacks." Jim clarifies what he said and Michael interrupts to say he understood and he was making a pun.
Pam and Ryan coach Michael to make sure he doesn't say that they're broke. Michael is really worried he's going to say it. Michael sees David in his old office and says, "Well, well, well, how he turn tables."
Once in the conference room Michael rejects their first offer before it's even made. David offers only $12,000 to buy them out. Michael is insulted. David tries to imply that Michael is scared and in debt and cannot continue operating while offering such low prices. Michael offers another scenario. He says he knows David has a stock holder's meeting coming up soon and that David is going to have to explain why his most profitable branch is bleeding. He knows that they might be looking for a little change in CFO. He says suddenly he doesn't have to wait out Dunder Mifflin he just has to wait out David. David offers $60,000. Michael is silent and stunned. He says they have to talk about it. Michael, Pam and Ryan freak out about being so rich.
Dwight gets a call about how one of Michael's customers is coming back to Dunder Mifflin. Dwight tells Charles that Michael is losing money. Charles tells both Dwight and Jim that they are morons and not go anywhere near the conference room.
Michael doesn't want to take the money. He knows it's a lot of money but they need jobs. Pam agrees. Michael renegotiates for his old job back. He also wants Charles gone. David says no so Michael says he wants Pam back, as a salesman. And he wants Ryan back too. David says he cost Dunder Mifflin millions. Michael says he doesn't care of Ryan murdered his whole family he is like a son to him. David says he knows Michael's company is going to go under and it's not worth a multi-million dollar buy-out. Michael says he doesn't care what David thinks, if his company goes under he'll just start a new one and then another and another, he has no shortage of names for his companies.
David finally agrees. Michael asks for a moment. David and Charles leave the conference room. Michael, Pam and Ryan start yelling and screaming in celebration.
In the closing bit Michael explains that there are great moments in a man's life. The day he's born, the day he grows hair, the day he starts a business and the day Dunder Mifflin buys that business. Then Charles tries to address everyone before he leaves. And Michael gets to say, "No, you're done." Oh yeah!
The Office stars: Steve Carell
/ John Krasinski
/ Jenna Fischer
/ Rainn Wilson
/ B.J. Novak
/ Melora Hardin
/ Mindy Kaling
/ Brian Baumgartner
/ Leslie David Baker
/ Kate Flannery
/ Ed Helms
/ Angela Kinsey
/ Phyllis Smith
Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez
Starpulse contributing writer