Millions of preteen girls across the country are ecstatic right now, and we have one person to thank for that: Miley Cyrus
. The teen sensation just released Hannah Montana: The Movie
last Friday, and theaters were jam-packed throughout opening weekend. But will the singer turned actress be a hit with anyone other than teenyboppers? If she follows suit with the majority of other musicians turned starlets, the chances are less than slim. Here's a recap of the worst movies starring singers.
10.) From Justin to Kelly
- This painful picture, starring American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson
and runner up Justin Guarini
, won a Razzie Award for "Worst 'Musical' of our First 25 Years." The plot is a spin on the typical star-crossed lovers scenario, except it's set in Miami on spring break and absolutely no one wanted to see scrawny Justin with his shirt off. Lucky for Kelly, she has an amazing voice that has carried her out of this horrible career choice. Otherwise, her employment would be as non-existent as her chemistry with Justin.
9.) John Tucker Must Die
- While this one may be a guilty pleasure for many, Ashanti
definitely stinks up the screen with her rendition of the pissed off ex-girlfriend of a serial-dater. The entire movie consists of a bitchy cheerleader, a snobby straight-A student, and a slutty hippie trying to get back at their ex-boyfriend by giving him PMS, making him wear a man thong, and making him the face of a genital herpes campaign. This overdramatic movie ends with the culprit finally getting his heart broken by a nerdy girl. As if we didn't see that one coming.
8.) How to Deal
- Mandy Moore
stars in this must less popular film than her first "hit," A Walk to Remember, but somehow manages to play almost the same character. She's a conservative teen going through typical teenage troubles: opening herself up to love, having a pregnant best friend with a dead boyfriend, dating a guy who loves Star Wars
, and having a grandma who smokes weed. While the thought of an old woman being high as a kite might intrigue some, the drug reference doesn't save the movie and the chaotic plot basically puts the audience to sleep.
7.) Pop Star
- Aaron Carter's
acting may be worse than his singing, especially in this movie. Aaron seems to always be getting in trouble with his parents (remember his song Party, Come Get It?,) because the pop star is forced back to public school when his homeschooled grades drop. The "hottie" falls for the nerdy smart girl with braces (really realistic) and the army of mean girls obviously tries to ruin the love affair. Yawn.
6.) Model Behavior
- This Justin Timberlake
flick never made it past a "made for the Disney Channel" movie, and it really is no wonder why. A weird teenager with no friends somehow looks identical to a supermodel and the two trade lives. Justin, a hott male model, thinks the supermodel is a bitch, but takes her out on a date anyway but is really out with the typical teen. Justin falls madly in love with her and the audience gets a warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that even if you're a nerd, you can still score a date with a hott guy.
5.) Love Don't Co$t a Thing
- Christina Milian
(the cool girl) crashes her mom's car and gets the nerdy boy to fix it. The catch? She has to pose as his girlfriend for two weeks. Then, the typical story unfolds: popular girl starts to like nerdy boy, nerdy boy becomes popular, popular girl gets mad at nerdy boy, nerdy boy is no longer cool, they love each other anyway. Even watching this movie for the first time feels like you've seen it a million times and it's definitely possible to predict every line before the words even come out of Christina Milian's mouth.
4.) 8 Mile
- Everyone loved this movie because it came out during Eminem's
prime time, but when you watch this movie late night on MTV, it actually sucks. The story line isn't bad (poor white kid lives in a trailer with his drunk mother and participates in rap battles while trying to make it big as an artist,) but the acting sucks. Eminem's voice is monotone throughout the entire 110 minutes, and the sex scene with Brittany Murphy was probably one of the most awkward scenes ever in a movie.
3.) Employee of the Month
- Jessica Simpson
failed as a wife, a country singer, and an actress. The entire movie takes place in a Super Club where an ugly nerdy guy and an attractive slacker who lives with his grandma compete to become employee of the month so they can date Jessica Simpson's character. The only thing Jessica Simpson has going for her in this movie is her cleavage, and her acting is very much like her on the Newlyweds: predictable and stupid. The only reason why this movie didn't totally suck is because Dane Cook
is also one of the main characters.
- Pre-breakdown Britney Spears
stars in this production about an innocent virgin girl (Spears) and her two best friends from elementary school who go on a road trip across the country to fulfill their dreams with a guy who could possibly be a serial killer. The pregnant chick wants to be a singer, Spears wants to meet her mother, and the other chick wants to marry her boyfriend. Somehow, Britney is the one who ends up being the star singer (shouldn't the preggo girl have been pissed?) and she does the dirty with the man who actually just ended up in jail because of a misunderstanding. The movie wouldn't have been so horrible painful if I didn't have to hear Britney sing during it.
- It should be illegal for Mariah Carey
to star in any movie. Throughout the entire movie, Mariah looks extremely drugged up and almost like she is numb to any expression or feeling. She falls in love with a DJ, who, for some reason, seems like he should be in the Mickey Mouse Club. Glitter is probably one of the slowest moving movies ever created, and each scene seems to be dragged out more than the last. The only redeeming (if you even want to call it that) qualities that this movie has are Mariah's two friends who dress up in trashy outfits and try to be in a music video. All in all, anyone who had anything to do with this movie should be arrested.
Story by Nancy Mucciarone
Starpulse contributing writer