Angelina Blasted Again In Another Leaked Sony Doc

'The Office' Gets A Reality Check

March 20th, 2009 4:10pm EDT
The OfficeDwight suggests for Michael's 15th Anniversary celebration they should begin with 15 minutes of clapping followed by 15 minutes of silence. Jim, dressed in a tux, feels like that isn't classy enough and they should throw a classy night to remember instead. Michael agrees saying his night should have, "all the drama, excitement and intrigue of my time here." Dwight is frustrated that Michael is only agreeing with Jim because he is wearing a tuxedo. Jim explains to camera that Dwight sent out a memo about professional dress in the workplace and singled Jim out so Jim's response was to wear a tuxedo and prove just how classy and professional he really is. Michael says his party should be classy like the opening of a car dealership. "Or Mr. Peanut," says Jim. Dwight argues that Mr. Peanut is just a regular nut with a top hat, monocle and cane. He of course proved the classiness of Mr. Peanut with his own argument against said Peanut. Dwight argues to Michael that he is only agreeing with Jim because Jim is wearing a tux. Michael retorts that it is just because Jim's ideas are better. So Dwight suggests an ice sculpture shaped like Michael, covered in chocolate, surrounded by chocolate covered strawberries. Jim says that idea isn't classy because he's trying too hard. Dwight says he must not know what classy is then. Jim suggests, "And I apologize because this is just off the top of my head. An ice sculpture, shaped like you (meaning Michael), surrounded by a variety of chocolate covered fruit." Michael asks, "Strawberries?" Jim replies, "That's inspired." Dwight storms out of the conference room screaming, "I said that!" Pam replies, "Not classy." Michael agrees, "Not classy at all." Jim says, "De classe." Michael is impressed saying, "Oh French, classy."

Charles Minor arrives at the Scranton office to visit Michael. Pam calls Michael over the intercom and announces that Charles Minor has arrived. Michael says, "Minor? I hardly know her." He is met by silence and then comes out to see Charles. Michael introduces him as Sir Charles Minor to the staff. Michael tells everyone that he has a surprise for them in the break room then he tells Dwight to stall for him. Dwight talks Charles' ear off about the early history of Scranton then Michael tells everyone that the real surprise is in the conference room. Everyone walks into the conference room to see bagels turned into a c shape and spread out on the table next to cream cheese and lox. Charles thanks him for the gesture. Pam asks, "Is this why you stayed last night?" Apparently cutting a portion out of two dozen bagels takes all night to accomplish.

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Michael explains to camera that he hit it off with Charles at a meeting in the New York corporate office. Michael feels confident about becoming friends with Charles because the last two people to have that job were Jan and Ryan, "the former was my lover and the latter my best friend, so who knows? I do. It's going to be metal (said with English accent and I Love You hand gestures instead of the sign of the Devil one usually sees in the heavy metal world). It's going to be mental (said with American accent).

Jim tries to explain why he is wearing a tuxedo. Charles is not impressed nor does he think it's funny. Pam digs him to camera saying, "He just had to wear his tuxedo to work." Jim answers, "I thought it would be funny." Pam continues, "It took him forty minutes to get ready." She thinks it's very funny.

Michael introduces Charles to the accounting department. Charles says he came from accounting. The accounting department is very happy to hear this news until Michael says, "Oh, nerd alert." Then he introduces Charles to Oscar, "This is Oscar Martinez. He is Latino and he jut got out of a long-term relationship with a man who broke his heart. But he didn't let it affect his work performance and I am very proud of him. This is Angela she has slept with a lot of guys in the office." Charles interrupts and says he doesn't need to know everyone's sexual history. Michael says, "That's good because Kevin doesn't have one." Stanley asks if there will be any lay-offs. Charles explains that they are doing everything they can to make sure that doesn't happen but he can't make any promises. He explains they no longer be matching 401K contributions, all overtime must be approved by the home office and he is suggesting a freeze on all discretionary monies like money for parties or petty cash. Dwight is worried that means his 15th Anniversary party. Michael tells the camera in an interview that he is thrilled that Charles is taking such an interest in all the managerial duties that Michael normally performs, "Thrilled."

Michael calls David Wallace and tells him that it was his understanding that he wouldn't be managed. David asks where he got that idea. Michael explains it was his understanding. Michael thinks the V.P. position should be left vacant saying, "I think I strive under a lack of accountability." David tells Michael to get to know Charles, he thinks they'll really hit it off and that if he needs anything else just let Charles know. Michael asks, "Are you coming to my 15th Anniversary party?" David says he will try to attend. Then Michael asks if he hires Cirque Du Soleil as salaried employees "would that help with the year end tax stuff?" He is met with a wall of silence so deep and long that Dwight thinks he may have hung up then David says, "No," in a way reserved for speaking about the silly and tiring things that children say. Michael tries to get to know Charles asking him to tell him something that he's never told anyone ever before. Charles declines the offer. Michael asks Charles wear he came from. Charles replies, "Sadaquoi Steel." That is what Michael loves about African Americans, their rich history of unusual names. Charles explains that is the name of the company he came from. Michael is shocked that he came from steel and not a background of paper. He asks Charles if David knows about this. Charles says yes he doesn't think David cares about that; just that he is a good manager. Michael tries to tell Charles that he doesn't need to be managed. He explains that Jan would only come by when she was super horny and Ryan would come by when he would visit his parents and do his laundry so he doesn't understand why Charles has to come by and baby-sit him. Charles tells Michael that he will tell David whatever David needs to know and that David wants it this way. Michael goes a little crazy with this news and tries desperately to reach David on the phone. David is avoiding his phone calls. Dwight tries to get through by first trying to charm the receptionist by calling her gorgeous and asking her how it's hanging then he introduces himself as Michael Scotch and tells her that he has David's son in the trunk of his car and if David doesn't get on the phone in five seconds he's going to- Then Michael hangs up. Michael then calls back and explains that it is Michael Scott on the phone and that Michael Scotch will return David's son, David's son is fine and he would like to speak to David Wallace. The receptionist patches him through to Charles instead. We see Charles on his cell phone outside Michael's office saying hello. Michael says, "I was never given a name," and hangs up. Charles ordered lunch for everyone. No one thanked Michael for breakfast but everyone thanks Charles. Michael is also very upset that Charles said there would be no more parties and now he's buying lunch for everyone. Charles says if he that upset about it he thinks there are some leftover bagels in the break room. Ouch. Michael tries to get David on the phone again to no avail. Kelly comments on how handsome Charles is. Angela pretends she doesn't notice. Kevin says he accidentally plugged in January and February's accounting numbers into a spreadsheet from 2008 instead of 2009 so he suggests that he has to come in on Saturday in order to correct the problem. Michael applauds his initiative and approves his overtime request. Charles interrupts and says Kevin has to do his work during normal office hours. Michael argues with him saying he is the office manager and he is approving Kevin's overtime. Michael gets so angry at being told no that he begins repeating everything Charles says. Pam tells the camera she can tells his mood by which comedy routine he implores at any given time, the more juvenile, the more upset he is. Pam says he must be really upset because he totally skipped the Ace Ventura talking butt bit and he NEVER skips the Ace Venture talking butt bit. Michael repeats and repeats and repeats to the point where the entire office gets upset with him and tells him to stop. He finally does stop and tries to laugh it off and play it off as a joke but no one is buying the crazy he is selling.

Michael tells Dwight, Jim and Pam that they should continue their PPC meeting in the conference room. Pam tells Michael that her idea is to have a smaller stripper come out of a cake holding another cake and then an even smaller stripper come out of that cake. Michael wants to know what the even smaller stripper will be holding and Pam answers, "A cupcake! It'll be stripper and cupcakes all the way down." Charles asks the embittered Phyllis what the meeting is about and what the PPC is. She answers that it is the Party Planning Committee and they spend hours planning parties. Charles interrupts the meeting to tell them that he doesn't think this is a good way to spend company time and they need to get back to work. Michael says they are coming up with important ideas and they need to continue their work. Jim wants to leave and get back to work. Charles asks to see his ideas and then asks, "What is a two-way petting zoo?" Jim answers hesitantly, "You pet the animals and they pet you back." We get the feeling Charles doesn't "get" Jim. Michael does, he thinks it is a great idea and they have a cake shaped like a bail of hay. Pam says it's just a regular cake. Charles says this isn't the best use of company time and tells everyone to go back to their desks. Michael agrees he's ready to have it out with Charles once and for all. Charles tells Michael he is dissolving the PPC and that this is a work environment it is not designed for his vanity. Michael tells Charles that he has been with the company for 15 years and that Charles has been with them for one day and he has no right to treat him this way. Charles tells Michael he's sorry if he hurt his feelings but this is that way it's going to have to be. Michael says no, he's going to go to corporate and talk to David Wallace in person and he's very sorry but he thinks Charles is screwed. He's very sorry to do this to him but he feels he must. As he's leaving he tells Charles, "Paper is not like steel, you don't put it in a furnace. Do you know what would happen to paper if you put it in a furnace? You'd ruin it." Michael pushes a chair on his way out the door. He is really upset. No talking butt is going to fix this.

Jim tries to talk to Charles and tell him that maybe they got off on the wrong foot but that he's really a smart guy. He tells Charles he is the number two in the office. Charles asks if this is a real position because he wasn't aware of it. Jim explains it wasn't a real position when Dwight had it and it was Assistant to the Regional Manager but now it's Assistant Regional Manager so that's different. Charles asks if he has this right Jim is the Assistant Regional Manager and this made up title comes with what responsibilities? Jim says none. Charles asks Jim, "So this made up position, it's important to you?" Jim realizes just how silly he sounds and backs out of the conference room slowly while closing the door behind him. Later Jim tells camera, "Watch as I make my career disappear." Lucky he was wearing that tux or that joke would have made no sense.

Michael finds David coming out of the bathroom and asks him, "Is this the meeting you've been in all day?" David is shocked to see Michael. They meet in David's office where Michael tells David that Charles canceled his 15th anniversary party and he already bought figs and he has no place to store them so he feels kind of boned. Michael asks David if Charles told David about all this. David says not the figs specifically. Michael says he thought that's how it worked, he told Charles and Charles told David and diluted what he said so he would never have to speak to David ever again. David said it wasn't like that. But Michael knows that's exactly what it was like. Michael says he sacrificed a lot for Dunder Mifflin, he put having a family on hold, he never went hang-gliding and he never drove his car to the top of Mount Rushmore.

Charles says goodbye for the day. Kelly is in the break room doing her make-up. She tells Phyllis that she knows it'll be difficult for their children being half black and half Indian but it'll be worth it and that she's going to get him to buy her a prime rib tonight. Phyllis tells her he just left. She freaks out and runs into the parking lot only to find Angela wandering around out there too looking for Charles and holding his scarf. Kelly is appalled. With her make-up dripping down her face she tells camera that Charles and Kelly isn't going to happen and that he doesn't need to go dumpster diving for companionship. Yeah, that's probably why he left and did not return for his scarf.

Michael doesn't understand why he's being treated so unfairly. He doesn't know why the company isn't making a big deal of his 15 years and after 15 years of service he doesn't understand why he has to get in his car and drive all the way to New York to talk to David Wallace. He feels after all these years he's earned more than that. David says he gets it and that he will move some money around and that he will personally make sure that he has his party, his figs and he will personally be in attendance. David asks, "How does that sound?" He extends his hand towards Michael to shake on it. Instead Michael shakes David's hand and says, "I quit." David is shocked. Michael says, "You have no idea how high I can fly," and just like that, with a wave he leaves. Wow, okay. Did not see that coming. Not even sure what to do with that information. That's what you call a cliffhanger. Well done. We're on the hook for sure.

The Office stars: Steve Carell / John Krasinski / Jenna Fischer / Rainn Wilson / B.J. Novak / Melora Hardin / Mindy Kaling / Brian Baumgartner / Leslie David Baker / Kate Flannery / Ed Helms / Angela Kinsey / Phyllis Smith

Erin MacMillan-Ramirez
Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez

Starpulse contributing writer



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