I hate to say it, but it's time I admit that "Nip/Tuck
" is reaching over-the-top storylines. Self-fellatio? Plastic surgery on babies? Really, "Nip/Tuck" writers?
A patient visits the office of Christian (Julian McMahon
) and Sean (Dylan Walsh
) looking for a penis reduction because he can't stop performing self-fellatio. This boggles the minds of the doctors, but they agree to do the surgery.
Since Liz has moved to Miami after her falling out with Christian, Sean takes to finding a qualified replacement. In typical McNamara Troy fashion, Sean hires a beautiful, motorcycle-loving female who has trouble written all over her.
Playing into Sean's "I'm past my prime" and "Christian is the fun doctor" insecurities, Liz's replacement manipulates Sean into taking a picture next to the patient's large penis as a joke. Of course, this later backfires on him when the patient finds out about the picture from Aidan Stone (Bradley Cooper
), who is upset that Sean is rejecting the script he wrote based on Sean's near fatal relationship with Colleen Rose.
Aidan wants to pitch the script and create a comeback for himself after his stint in sex rehab following the incident with Eden (Annalynne McCord
). Aidan talks the patient into threatening Sean with a lawsuit and is able to get Sean to agree to the script in order to avoid legal action.
The storyline continues to reach new heights when Kimber (Kelly Carlson
) asks Christian to inject Jenna's lips with collagen so that she can be a prominent baby model. Christian is adamant about not performing plastic surgery on babies, let alone his granddaughter, but soon completes the task after he realizes Kimber began the injection while he was out of the room. He doesn't want the injection to be uneven, so he finishes the job and Kimber tells him not to worry, that she will take the blame.
Matt (John Hensley
) is distraught when realizes his daughter's lips have been plumped, immediately assumes Christian did it, and goes to Christian's house and stabs him with a sterile needle to make his point. Christian claims he didn't do it and puts Kimber on speakerphone to "clear" his name. As agreed, Kimber takes responsibility and doesn't reveal Christian's involvement.
In the crowning moment of the episode, Aidan returns to the McNamara Troy office in a complete neck and head brace. He soon reveals that he broke his neck by falling off of his bed while trying to follow in the footsteps of the well-endowed patient and suck his own penis. Aidan wants to fix the scars the brace will leave on his forehead and asks for a penis enlargement.
Although "Nip/Tuck" is over-the-top, I'm too excited that Bradley Cooper guest starred on the show, and it looks like he will appear in at least another episode!
Catch "Nip/Tuck" Tuesdays at 10 p.m. E/P on FX.
Story by Jessica Ford
Starpulse contributing writer