Oh, look, Erin's a "real" person too. She gets her own Hipster Boyfriend, Duncan (guitar sold separately) who's also foreign. Well, Canadian but still, there's a border. Whit comes home to find them cuddling and she's all awk-ward about it and leaves.

The next morning, it's still awkward when Erin and Whit meet for breakfast. Who has time for these long breakfasts before going to work? Am I the only one who considers it an achievement to actually chew my Cheerios? There's insincere chatter about "no, I'm not uncomfortable on the couch" and "stay as long as you like." Then we move quickly away from Erin (who's looking adorable with her bangs pushed back) and on to Whit and Jay. Listening to her talk about trust and "where are we?" when it's a guy she barely knows reminds me of Lauren and her propensity for finding drama in everything. Maybe it's written into the MTV contracts. Amidst all this, there's also something about Whit actually doing some work and looking for a new place.

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Somehow, in between haircare and soulful guitar playing, Jay has real estate expertise and is on the hunt. At the next day's photo shoot for the DVF online store, Liv is dying to help out and is angling to go with Whit…and Jay. Obviously marching to the beat of a very different employment drummer, Whit makes an early exit from work to check out an apartment with Jay. The leasing agent puts on a full court press but other than the 30 story view, the place looks rather bland. But I'm sure that after MTV fills it with Real World cast-offs, I mean Whit decorates it, it'll look great.

The next day at work, Liv asks about the apartment hunt and is very disappointed to discover that it's over before she had a chance to dispense her invaluable advice. When she finds that Jay will be helping Whit move, Liv gets very feminist and tells Whit that she needs to rely on herself and not be so dependent on a guy. When Livie talks, I think there should be subtitles of what she really means, which in this case would be "I want your man."

For some reason, we follow Erin and Duncan on their date. Erin confesses that she's only had long term relationships, which must be code for "I'm probably cheating on you." She kind of proves the point when she says she'd rather experience heartbreak ten times than never know love. Sounds very Hallmark-y but again, I'm thinking this means "I'm definitely cheating on you." Duncan though says that he'll be there, whenever she calls, which leads Erin to question his perfection. She's already thinking of when he leaves so Duncan better not waste anymore frequent flyer miles.




Back at the palace, Whit's already decorated, with a couch more ginormous than most beds. Erin and Jay are there too and Erin reveals that she and Duncan exchanged "I love you's." Jay gets nervous and starts on a defensive speech about not saying it so soon. Whit comes to Erin's defense, that it should be about when you feel it, and you can see that the fairies and bunnies in her head are doing some serious evaluating of Jay's potential.

There's a completely unnecessary walk by the reservoir for Erin and Whit which was too boring to even listen to, let alone recap.

In the witch's lair, Nevan tells Liv that he got a $100 fine for spitting and for those 3 seconds of interaction when they're both being funny, you realize that Livie might actually be human. Nevan is already my fave person and I love how he's trying to be a junior Isaac Mizrahi, all poufy hair and fabulousness. Nevan asks about Whit which sets Liv off on a whole "how could she take the first apartment that she saw just because her boyfriend found it for her and if it doesn't work out she'll always associate the place with him." Whoa. That's one twisted thought process and most of it doesn't make sense. Liv, being the Mother Superior that she is, is just trying to guide young Whit in her transition from MTV L.A. girl (read: stupid) to MTV New Yorker (read: stupid but rude). Nevan nails it when he says who knows the cutthroat and evil world of NY better than our pal, Livie. If possible, he just shot up in the rankings to super fave.

That night or some night, Whit, wearing an unfortunate dress, meets up with Jay for dinner and they're back on the whole "I love you" debate. Jay asks Whit if she considers him her boyfriend and she very ambiguously says she doesn't. Jay, being the sensitive rebel that he is, feels that while he doesn't want to be with other people he still wants to be in the "getting to know her" phase and really who needs "labels" anyway. He's just so happy in his life and he doesn't a relationship to drag him down. But Princess Whitney wants to be a priority in her man's life and all of a sudden, the Bambi look becomes a Bambi death glare. Jay ends up thinking everything is great but if I were him, I wouldn't be banking on any sleepovers tonight.

Mali Perl can be reached at nycmal1@yahoo.com for any questions on The City. All you need to know is that Liv has a dog called Butler.

Story by Mali Perl
Starpulse Contributing Writer