Some people's lives are filled with regret-the lost love in high school, not being ambitious enough at work, never seeing Fido again after forgetting to close the gate, eating that third helping of chili cheese fries. I try not to think of things like that, but missing out on popular television shows? That's when I start losing sleep. Enough already!
To help fill the gaping void, I've compiled what I hope will be a cathartic list of my biggest TV-watching regrets. Maybe that'll stop all the tossing and turning at night.
As a mid-20s guy, I can't help feeling old once in a while, so what better way to stay true to my inner coolness than by watching the latest teenage sensation? Unfortunately, I haven't followed through on this and have been stuck Googling "ROFL" and "OMG." A direct result of not watching "Gossip Girl" is my inability to relate to anyone between the ages of 13 to 20.
For some reason, I forced the idea into my head that this show is really boring. And that seems to be a huge mistake on my part. Even though I'm familiar with the concept and have even seen a few episodes, it just never piqued my curiosity. That's not the case now.
At this point, I feel like I'm missing out on something big-maybe even "Sopranos
" big. Who is this "Don Draper" and what makes him so damn interesting? Please don't judge me; I'm already planning on catching up with seasons 1 & 2 before the new season begins.
This makes the list for one reason: the utter and complete lack of any good sitcoms on network TV (not counting "The Office
," of course). "30 Rock" receives so much critical acclaim and Tina Fey
is on so many magazine covers that I can't help but pay attention. What's the worst that can happen if I start tuning in? I mean, it can't be a bigger waste of time than flushing 30 hours of my life down the toilet after watching three seasons of "The Hills
I've seen one episode and didn't like it. But it must've been the worst one of the entire season, because people have been raving to me about the show for months now. And all this talk about vampires, shape-shifters, and telepathics has finally made an impact. Wait, there's also gratuitous nudity? Awesome! Let's be clear, though. The main reason "True Blood" makes the list is because I want people to stop nagging me to watch it.
Will Meredith and Derek ever find true love? What about Izzie and Cristina? Just kidding.
Thanks to on-demand television, DVRs, and Netflix there's no time like the present to start getting into a show that already has four seasons in the bag. From what little I know about "Weeds," it has something to do with a normal suburban family that dabbles in the marijuana business.
That in itself is interesting enough, but throw in Mary-Louise Parker
and it's practically a done deal. I've had a thing for her since she started showing up on "The West Wing
." (Shut up, you watched it too.) Another strong selling point for "Weeds" is its 30-minute run time. That always helps.
If a show has lasted more than two seasons on HBO or Showtime, it's probably really good. (I stole that line from my friend, but he won't mind.) Plus, "Big Love" is about polygamy and Mormons. Sounds good to me.
Let me get this out in the open right now. I've actually watched all of season 1. Does that boost my credibility at all? The problem with "Lost" is that it seems impossible to catch up on. Every season has like 24 episodes that are an hour apiece. Multiply that by the two full seasons and part of another season that I haven't seen, and it's almost a full-time job to become a true "Lost" fan. Who has that kind of time? (Answer: Someone who can spend an hour writing pointless television lists for an entertainment website. Touché.) The worst part about not being up to date on this show is when a group of friends start talking about it in great detail. Imagine having the plague, and that's how it feels when you're left out of that conversation. I crave inclusion!
Story by Phil McRae
Starpulse contributing writer