First, a disclaimer to all who don't celebrate Christmas. This Santa Claus thing has been shoved down your throat for years if you've bothered to watch just about any holiday special as of late. If there was a way to catalogue the best, oh, Hanukkah Harry movies, this article would be a bit different. At least now everything is accompanied by "happy (generic) holidays!" At the very least, the story of Santa is widely known, and assuming audience literacy this article can be appreciated by most. Sorry illiterate kids.

- Your surly neighbor, since you will never forget them.
Ok, this is a home movie Santa. Not exactly on par with the production values of the Disney and CGI Santas to follow. Maybe it was your actual neighbor, your uncle, or a family friend that decided to dress up and show up, possibly mid-Christmas party. The odd familiar face and new eggnoggy breath cemented the image of Santa Claus in the flesh for many youngsters. Never again was there much battle to get them to bed on Christmas Eve.

- The Grinch, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," the best fake and ill-intentioned Santa.
"How the Grinch Stole Christmas" doesn't play enough during the holidays. "A Christmas Story" gets an entire 24 hour period. This classic from '66 jovially paints a picture of the misfit that finds others' joy wretched, and sets out to ruin everybody's beloved holiday. In essence, he's raping the soul of the secular Christmas myth by pillaging every home under the guise of their beloved Santa Claus. Yet, it rhymes and it's a cartoon, so it's seen as simple mischief. He's given a get-out-of-jail free card. Hooray for the mentality of the 60s! Really, the Grinch is a phenomenal bastard. He impersonates something close to every Who's heart, and defiantly steals almost with no need to. Other than downright bastardness. Of course, in the holiday spirit he repents upon hearing Whoville singing anyway. The anti-Santa Santa, the Grinch has become entrenched in our holiday vernacular despite his previous evil deeds.

- Santa, "The Nightmare Before Christmas," the creepiest Santa.
It may be about Halloween, it may be about Christmas. The resulting mix is eerie and incredible. Visually inspiring for those who weren't exactly charmed by the syrupy Santa Claus and Christmas vignettes presented from Disney, television series' holiday specials, and the usual variety holiday specials. Here, Jack Skellington usurps the role of Santa in an effort to try a different holiday on for size. The stop-motion style makes your skin crawl a bit. Even Santa Claus' jolly, safe red-and-white look is a bit grotesque transferred into Tim Burton and Director Henry Selick's vision. For the kids that liked the darkness of Halloween but still enjoyed the wintery fun of Christmas, these anti-Santa Santas, more suited for a replay on F/X than Lifetime, filled a niche for another style of St. Nick.

- Paul Giamatti, "Fred Claus," the modern saint.
Some people like syrup. They actually own those Lifetime movies on DVDs. In a modernized version of the classic good-as-gold Santa, Paul Giamatti steps up to the plate and hits a home run. He plays alongside Vince Vaughn, the most likable of the "frat pack" actors. Vaughn is a perfect anti-hero in this twist on the Santa Claus story. But Giamatti is believable saintly in his performance and delivery. He isn't too good to be true, he's simply good. It's a nod to his ability to truly act, and to Vaughn's ability to balance the warm and fuzzy with harsh and charming. It's absolutely a Santa Claus and accompanying movie that's appropriate for baby-sitting movie time. Even with its' excess of syrup.

- Billy Bob Thornton, "Bad Santa," the worst, but most entertaining, Santa.
Do not watch this movie with your family on Christmas. Which isn't to say it's awful - quite the opposite, it's black comedic brilliance. This might be a favorite due to many peoples' dislike of the holidays. This version of Santa is similar to the story of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" with no cartoon goodness to aid in the main character's repentance. He eventually comes around, but the scheme has already gone too far for clean ending. It's atypical and dysfunctional, dark and unapologetic. The GenXer or Millenial will appreciate it with a healthy dose of cynicism and, to call upon earlier comparisons, not a drop of syrup. Unless you have a soft spot for pink elephants.

Story by Kate Kostal

Starpulse contributing writer