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'Heroes' Gets Eclipsed

November 25th, 2008 12:25pm EST
HeroesEveryone's obsessed with the coming eclipse on Heroes. Sylar and Elle practice electricity throwing. Elle says he's doing great. He says it's not good enough he, "needs to prove himself to someone." Elle probes, he says he's afraid she wouldn't understand so she drops it. Then Arthur walks in on them and tells Sylar he has an assignment for him, to go get the cheerleader. Sylar reveals that Arthur's his Dad, which Elle reacts to without letting him know she's reacting. Then Elle volunteer's to help because she was raised to be, "a company girl." Of course Arthur thinks the two of them are, "a good pairing." So they're off.

Claire asks Angela, "Why is it always me?" If we knew that we wouldn't watch the show. Angela tells Claire her job is to hide until they can handle the situation and get Arthur under control. She leads Claire into Level 5 where the Puppeteer is being held. Claire asks, "What are you going to do, lock me up?" Angela admits to thinking about it but she has other plans for Claire. Then HRG says hello to his adopted daughter. And Claire predictable turns to him and says, "Dad?" She's looking right at him and she still asks if it's him in disbelief. What a cliché.

HRG takes Claire to Stephen Canfield's house to use as a "safe" house.

Nathan and Peter fight about going to find the Haitian and bring him back to help their cause and fight for the "good" guys.

Suresh and Arthur fight about what the eclipse means. Suresh makes it all about him. He demands that Arthur get Claire for him, he needs her to develop a cure for his condition. Then they look at the drawings Arthur has been doing and try to figure out how Claire could die if she's supposed to have the power to heal. And then of course Suresh makes it all about him again when Arthur shows him the picture he drew of Suresh looking dead in a cocoon. He's really turned into a self-centered obsessed mad-scientist type.

Daphne and Parkman fight about what to do. Parkman says he needs to find Hiro. Daphne realizes that she has betrayed everyone and she can't understand why Parkman is obsessed with her. He reminds her of his spirit walk and intimates that it's their destiny to be together. She asks if he trusts her, he says yes, she asks if he completely trusts her, he pauses for a split second and then says yes. Then someone knocks on the door. Parkman answers the door to find Hiro doing the pee-pee dance in his hallway. Ando explains that Arthur erased his memory and made Hiro think he's ten again.

Parkman tries to fix Hiro but can't understand Japanese. Ando confronts Daphne as his nemesis but Daphne raises her little hand into a Scouting sign and says she's a good guy now. Sometimes this girl just cannot act her way out of a paper bag. Then she freaks out and wants to run away because Parkman paused. When she asked if he completely trusted her, he paused. Of course he paused, this show is using every cliché it can get its hands on. And then guess what? Parkman tries to talk her into staying with him. Then he gets really creepy and starts reading her mind. Talk about an invasion of privacy. So Daphne tells him to back off and speeds off. Then Hiro jumps up and down excitedly and screams, "Do it again!" in Japanese.

Elle messes with Sylar by telling some poor rent-a-car flunky that Sylar is a serial killer and he kidnapped her in an attempt to play some kinky weird sex game. She says she's worried about Sylar becoming a company "yes man" and that they can do anything they want, take anything they want. She's pushing him to make Sylar reveal who he really is, a good guy or a bad guy. So the flunky comes out with a shotgun, because all rent-a-car kiosks come equipped with a shotgun for just such an emergency, and threatens Sylar saying he should shoot Sylar so he can be, "a bona fide hero." Then Sylar gets his evil look back and starts using his evil voice and says, "I hate heroes." Then he knocks the guy out with his own gun. Whether the writers were trying to allude to "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" was unclear but anytime the words "bona fide" are used it's implied.

Suresh desperately researches what a solar eclipse could mean as his body freaks out on him and gooey stuff starts coming out of his palms.

HRG decides to train Claire while they're in an empty house. He claims she is, "stupid and careless." He throws a floorboard at her and makes her mad until she's willing to hit him. When she takes a swing at him he catches the board, spins her around and puts her into a chokehold, of course. He says she's sloppy and needs to put all her power into the board. How swinging a piece of wood will train her to capture "bad guys" is yet to be revealed. That and the fact that the abandoned house they're hiding in is probably going into foreclosure soon. Claire asks, "What's this tae kwon do?" HRG replies, "No, it's baseball." Wow, that's some bad writing.

Speaking of baseball, Tracy is batting for both teams. She's informing Arthur of every move Nathan is making while working for Angela, the little minx. She's certainly no Niki or Jessica, wait a minute. Arthur sends her to Paris Island to the Marine training facility saying, "Every war needs an army." Angela walks in on the end of Tracy's conversation. Tracy hangs up and says to Angela, "Washington, I guess there's no rest for the wicked." Angela replies, "Apparently not." Then smiles in that very Angela way as Tracy leaves the room. Gee, wonder if Angela knows something is up?

Hiro is reading the comic book when Parkman says they need to go to Lawrence, Kansas. So Hiro pops them over there. Then the eclipse starts and the light gets weird.

In a little montage Arthur is frustrated, Suresh has cocooned himself, Angela looks at a photo of her once perfect family, Nathan falls out of the sky with Peter and into a river, Sylar jumps into a Corvette with Elle and Claire keeps hitting HRG with floorboards. It's a wonderful world.

Suresh wakes up and gets birthed out of his cocoon in what must be the most disturbing image of the season. His naked body slides out onto the floor and some kind of placenta drops out after him. Gross.

Nathan and Peter trudge through the jungle looking for the Haitian. They get in a fight because Nathan gets them lost. Nathan says he's always saving his kid brother then says he's better than Peter because he's a Senator and Peter is a nurse. Peter says Nathan is a puppet, always doing whatever their Father wants him to do, never living for himself. Then the Haitian shows up and motions for them to be quiet.

Parkman tries to get into Daphne's farmhouse but his abilities aren't working so he ends up looking like an idiot who just gives people orders and turns his head when he talks. Hiro's powers are gone too. Daphne says to her Father that it's happening again and asks him if he still has "them" he says he'll go get "them."

HRG continues to train Claire, telling her, "Control first, follow-through second." He makes her swing at him and tell him what she was thinking. She's pissed that he always leaves. He was always gone when she needed him the most. She tries to go outside to get some air but Elle walks in instead. Elle tries to use her powers but nothing happens. Then Sylar flanks them from behind and tries to move them by moving his fingers but they don't move. Which bring up the thought that this is what it must look like when they are filming, very silly before the sound effects and SFX are put in. And if nothing more comes of this show than the introduction of Zachary Quinto to the world then this series has been worth watching. In a really enjoyable moment Sylar realizes that his powers aren't working right before HRG tries to shoot him. They get in a fight, HRG dislocates Sylar's shoulder, Elle shoots Claire who was trying to save her Dad, then HRG knocks Elle unconscious with a floorboard in a very nice slow-motion montage with very cool music.

HRG takes Claire home and treats her himself. She's bleeding and in pain and loving it, she can feel again. HRG thanks her for saving his life.

Meanwhile Hiro throws corn at Parkman in order to get him to believe in himself and go save Daphne. After Parkman heads over to Daphne's house Hiro and Ando walk into town and go into a comic book store.

Suresh tries to leave the lab to find Maya since he's been cured but Arthur won't let him go.

Nathan gets captured by the Haitian's brother, an evil warlord, whose skin is impenetrable. Arthur told the Haitian's brother that they would be coming and to, "be himself," so he hit's Nathan with the barrel of his gun and knocks him out. Peter and The Haitian sneak under the brush in an attempt to escape.

Claire rests as HRG gets out of bed and straightens his tie in a creepy allusion. He just told Claire he'd be downstairs, he knows she's upset about him leaving whenever she needs him so what does he do? He leaves again.

Parkman declares his love for Daphne and she finally lets him in. She reveals her big secret that she wears leg braces and uses crutches to walk.

Claire is beginning to bleed out, her wound is worsening and her Dad's not there to help.

Sylar and Elle recoup from their injuries. He's happy and relieved that his powers are gone. Elle is upset and blames herself for triggering his hunger. She's angry that they can't just take what they want anymore. Sylar says, "Says who?" and he grabs her and kisses her passionately. But wait, HRG is across the street with a sniper rifle taking aim on them through his scope. And we have to wait for part two of this two-part special. Since no one dies or disappears in this show we can only surmise that the vortex dude, Stephen Canfield, will pop back into the house and accidentally save Sylar and Elle. Either that or the bank will foreclose on the house at the very moment the bullet leaves the rifle and suck the entire house into it's own vortex like a scene out of "Poltergeist." Why else would these characters be in this house if they weren't going to bring Stephen back?

What would really be surprising would be to have the Irish girl pop into the house with Stephen. Now that we wouldn't see coming, but since Tim Kring is never going to mention her or bring her back again it's not likely.

Heroes stars: Hayden Panettiere / Milo Ventimiglia / Ali Larter / Masi Oka / Zachary Quinto / Dania Ramirez / Kristen Bell / Noah Gray-Cabey / James Kyson Lee / Greg Grunberg / Adrian Pasdar / Malcolm McDowell / more

Erin MacMillan-Ramirez
Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez

Starpulse contributing writer