GetBack Bond Ratings: Who Is The Best 007 Ever?
1. Be a snazzy dresser.
2. Have a hot Bond girl.
3. Have a bitchin' ride.
4. Have a killer theme song.
5. Have a relaxing off-hours diversion.
We've rated each of the six actors who've played 007 over the years, awarding a score from 1 to 10 for each essential attribute. Add them all together, and you get the GETBACK BOND RATING. Could the high-scorer be the best Bond ever?
See our Bond Rating FlipBook here.
#6. Timothy Dalton - TOTAL SCORE 21
SNAZZY DRESSER: Full desert gear, including turban in The Living Daylights. He thought he was in Ishtar. 2 POINTS
HOT BOND GIRL: Maryam d'Abo, Hot, but not so memorable. 3 POINTS
BITCHIN' RIDE: Piper Cub in Licence To Kill. That's one way to hitch a ride on a tanker truck. 8 POINTS
KILLER THEME SONG: "Licence To Kill" by Gladys Knight. We have to give it some points just for Gladys, but it could possibly be the worst Bond theme of all time. 2 POINTS
RELAXING OFF-HOURS DIVERSION: Sledding. Now, that's what we call relaxing (unless, of course, you're being chased). 6 POINTS
#5. Pierce Brosnan - TOTAL SCORE 22
SNAZZY DRESSER: Head-to-toe, white fencing outfit in Die Another Day. It doesn't score big, but having Madonna as your fencing instructor earns extra credit. 5 POINTS
HOT BOND GIRL: Halle Berry is the ultimate James Bond babe, but Pierce loses points for Teri Hatcher (Tomorrow Never Dies). 10 - 4 = 6 POINTS
BITCHIN' RIDE: Hovercraft from Die Another Day. It doesn't get much more bitchin' than a vehicle that goes from land to sea. 8 POINTS
KILLER THEME SONG: Name the song from any of these movies. We dare you. GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day. 0 POINTS
RELAXING OFF-HOURS DIVERSION: Skiing in front of firestorms. Relaxing? No. Manly? Very. 3 POINTS
#4. George Lazenby - TOTAL SCORE 24
SNAZZY DRESSER: Full Scottish kilt in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Some chicks dig a guy in a skirt. We prefer our dudes sans lacy collar. 2 POINTS
HOT BOND GIRL: Post-Avengers Diana Rigg - high marks for George. 7 POINTS
BITCHIN' RIDE: The skis don't have as many gadgets as other Bond vehicles, but they did the trick. 5 POINTS
KILLER THEME SONG: "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" by John Barry. Don't recall it? There's your reason for our score. 0 POINTS
RELAXING OFF-HOURS DIVERSION: Curling. We love a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. 10 POINTS
#3. Daniel Craig - TOTAL SCORE 33
SNAZZY DRESSER: He looks good in pretty much anything, especially that Speedo in Casino Royale. 8 POINTS
HOT BOND GIRL: Eva Green. She liked that Speedo too. 5 POINTS
BITCHIN' RIDE: Motorcycle. Got to love a dude on a bike. 8 POINTS
KILLER THEME SONG: "Another Way To Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys (Quantum Of Solace). Hipsters beware. 4 POINTS
RELAXING OFF-HOURS DIVERSION: Standing at a bar, looking cool. Works for us. 8 POINTS
#2. Sean Connery - TOTAL SCORE 44
SNAZZY DRESSER: The white suit and pink-scarf ensemble in Diamonds Are Forever really say it all: a man secure with his masculinity. 10 POINTS
HOT BOND GIRL: Jill St. John on a bearskin rug. Say no more. 10 POINTS
BITCHIN' RIDE: The Aston Martin DB5, complete with machine guns, rotating license plates, and passenger ejector seat. 10 POINTS
KILLER THEME SONG: "Goldfinger" by Shirley Bassey, the song with the Midas touch. 8 POINTS
RELAXING OFF-HOURS DIVERSION: Scuba diving. Peaceful. Tranquil. And a good way to meet criminals. 6 POINTS
#1. Roger Moore - TOTAL SCORE 46
SNAZZY DRESSER: Dressed in full clown gear undercover at the circus in Octopussy. Some points for cojones but not very debonair. 6 POINTS
HOT BOND GIRL: He wins this hands down - Jane Seymour, Britt Ekland, Barbara Bach, Lynn-Holly Johnson, and Lois Chiles as Holly Goodhead. 10 POINTS
BITCHIN' RIDE: Lotus Esprit Turbo in For Your Eyes Only. Maybe it couldn't convert to a submarine like its predecessor, but it self-destructed when tampered with by a super-villain. 7 POINTS
KILLER THEME SONG: Again, clear frontrunner, hands down - "Live And Let Die" by Paul McCartney & Wings. Add to that "Nobody Does It Better" by Carly Simon (The Spy Who Loved Me), "The Man With The Golden Gun" by Lulu, and "For Your Eyes Only" by Sheena Easton. 10 POINTS
RELAXING OFF-HOURS DIVERSION: Mountain climbing. Not very relaxing but soooo rugged! 3 POINTS
BONUS POINTS: Best Henchman (Richard Kiel as Jaws) and Best Evil Bond Girl (Grace Jones as May Day) BONUS 10 POINTS
By Amy & Nancy Harrington, GetBack.com
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