Last night's episode of "Heroes" began with a recap of last week's episode. It didn't get much better from there. Nathan slept with Tracy. It escalated from a kiss to sex very quickly, and Nathan's voice-over was quick to point out how fast his life is moving. Like "a speeding train" was the obvious metaphor used. He's questioning his life and his purpose, asking if he's an angel or a monster, a hero or a villain. He asks, "Why can't I see the difference?" The audience might be asking why they're watching this show at this point. Or why the writers can't tell a good script from a bad one? Suresh sits on a hill watching a drug dealer, and Hiro digs up Adam Monroe during the mini montage.

Then we join Nathan in his kitchen drinking milk and talking to Mr. Linderman about God. Linderman reminds Nathan that God resides in all of us and that the answers to all of Nathan's questions can be found within.

Cut to Suresh talking to the drug dealer. He needs "something to take the edge off." And then in a strange proposition says that he needs something stronger, throws the dealers knife to the ground and says, "I need you." This had a subtle sexual and very menacing under-tone to it.

Cut to Peter zapping into Sylar's cell on Level 5. He pinned Sylar against the wall. Sylar revealed he was his brother and he's, "just like him." Peter exclaims, "I'll never be like you!" Then he snaps Sylar's neck, throws him to the ground and turns on his Mother, Angela, who had just entered the room. In a crazed fit he attempts to cut open his own Mother's head and extract the secrets he knows she's hiding. Sylar regenerates, gets up, rights himself and stops Peter by throwing him against the glass and knocking him unconscious. Sylar asks their Mother, "Is he gonna be alright?" She answers, "Yes, I'll make sure of it."

So far she's done a bang-up job on her other two boys, one can only imagine the stellar job she'll do with Peter. HRG appears in the window. Sylar goes to talk to him and guess what? He's got another lead on a new villain and he needs Sylar to help again.

Claire's Moms rummage through a box of villain files. Sandra (Claire's adopted Mom) pulls out a file on, Stephen Canfield, a bad buy who can create vortexes and send people to other dimensions. Meredith (Claire's biological Mom) pulls one out on another really bad guy who does really bad things and decides that's the first place she should look for Claire. Sandra wants to go with her but Meredith is quick to point out that Sandra has no super powers so she'll be no help. This scene felt very heavy-handed and out of place. The writers would have been more successful placing a title card in this space reading: these are the two new villains we're introducing for the purposes of advancing a plot that makes no sense whatsoever.

Cut to an empty house with a really angry "villain" on the phone with his wife's sister who won't tell him where his wife and kids are. His sister-in-law hangs up on him and he makes the phone disappear into a vortex then Claire sneaks up on him and tazers him, shocking him to the ground. This guy is having the worst day.

Cut to Hiro and Ando unearthing Adam Monroe. If you're saying to yourself didn't they do that already then sorry to disappoint you but they do it three more times in this one scene. Ando tells Hiro they can't trust Adam. Hiro says sacrifices have to be made in order to save the world (again).

Cut to The Pinehearst Company where speedster Daphne is talking to an imaginary Mr. Linderman. He recruits her to recruit other super people in order to make life better for all super people, a new world order where super people are appreciated and not ignored. Why did Don LaFontaine have to pass away so soon? We need him to narrate this episode.

And in what is turning into "The Sylar Show" we cut to HRG talking with Sylar on their way to their next assignment. HRG gives Sylar a hard time about terrorizing Claire. Sylar retorts, "Rehabilitation doesn't happen overnight. I am trying." Only Zachary Quinto can deliver clunker lines with enough panache to be funny.

Meanwhile we cut to Daddy's little girl, Claire, terrorizing a "villain" in his own home. Oh the shame when a victim becomes a predator. Claire grills vortex dude. He claims the company came and took him in the middle of the night, put him away for two years. His family thinks he abandoned them. We get hit over the head with Guantanamo references. She says he deserves to be locked away so good people don't get hurt. He says he made one mistake. She argues with him and calls him a monster. He creates a vortex, sucks her tazer gun into it and tells her, "You're wrong! And you need to listen!"

Cut to Suresh dragging the drug dealer into his apartment leaving a trail of blood behind him. He puts the dealer on the lab table and hearing Maya come in goes to meet her. Maya shows him a flier that was in his door; apparently his neighbor has gone missing. Suresh distracts her by saying he's close to a cure. Last week he said he would never be able to find a cure now this week he's close. He then puts the moves on Maya and tries to seduce her. She looks down and sees blood on the floor so she quickly excuses herself and leaves. Suresh returns to his work. Then the camera zooms past Suresh to the wall where he has used his sticky hands to cocoon the neighbor dude to his lab wall. And of course, you guessed it, the guy opens his eyes in a tight close-up to reveal he's not dead he's in some muted trance state a la "Aliens." The homages are getting a bit obvious, they're bordering on outright stealing.

Vortex guy, Steven, holds Claire hostage until HRG and Sylar show up to capture him in an amazingly stupid coincidence. Tonight on "The Sylar Show" Claire, Sylar, HRG and some random new character get involved in a horrible misunderstanding. "The Sylar Show" is taped in front of a live studio audience. Wait a minute this is supposed to be "Heroes." Vortex guy creates a vortex (go figure). Claire almost gets sucked into it, and then Sylar rescues her (gee we didn't see that coming). Sylar apologizes for causing Claire so much pain and says he never meant to hurt her. HRG manipulates Claire, again, for his own dark purposes. HRG then manipulates the Vortex guy, trying to get him to suck Sylar into a vortex. If he does so HRG will let him go free. Stephen doesn't want to kill anyone else so he sucks himself into a vortex. Sad and seemingly pointless. We're sure this guy will pop up some other time to suck some really bad guy into some other dimension and save the day. Thus proving that Vortex dude is really a good guy and to really drive the point home he'll probably bring the guy he "killed" back with him and they'll both be reunited with their families, become neighbors again and have a barbeque. Claire is really mad at her Dad, Uncle Sylar tries to help by analyzing the situation and telling Claire her Father will never see her humanity. It's beginning to look like Claire can't trust anyone and everyone in her family is trying to use her, no wonder she turns evil. As soon as Claire walks into her house and talks to her Mom, Sandra, she finds out her bio-Mom, Meredith, never made it home. Meredith is too busy being manipulated by the "Puppet Master." Who, get this, lives down the street.

Tracy reveals to Nathan that their powers were given to them by a doctor and not from God as Nathan had hoped. Nathan goes to see his Mother. He sees that Peter is in a coma. Angela tells him she put him in a medically induced coma and that she was part of a team of people who experimented on infants. Niki, Tracy and Barbara, the triplets, were given powers, along with Nathan. Nathan does not react well to this news.

Adam Monroe tricks Hiro and Ando by taking them to a bar, getting Hiro knocked out by the bartender because Adam slept with his wife and then Adam escapes. Hiro and Ando get drunk and comment on how heroes sometimes get lost. The writers are now commenting on their own show. Then Knox captures Adam and contacts a hidden person to ask what to do with the two Japanese guys. Daphne shows up to help Knox, they offer Hiro a job working for the guy they work for but first he has to prove himself. Knox says Ando has no powers so he's not worth anything and Hiro should kill him in order to prove his loyalty. So Hiro takes a sword (don't ask why there was some random sword just hanging on the wall of this bar) and stabs Ando in the heart, saying sacrifices have to be made. What!?! This was by far the strangest, most disturbing and most unbelievable "twist" ever to be put into this show. It felt bizarre. It felt so out of place that the rest of the show was almost a blur. It was uncomfortably weird and out of character for Hiro. Of course no one ever dies on this show so we can't be too worried about it.

Maya sneaks back into Suresh's lab to try and rescue the cocooned people only to be captured and cocooned herself by a demonic Suresh. Nathan tells Tracy he knows a guy who can help them, some innocent named Suresh who wouldn't hurt a fly. Apparently Suresh is turning into some kind of spider and will therefore hurt lots of flies and people, bummer.

In the final twist and reveal of the show Angela has a nightmare about Tracy, Nathan and Peter being killed by someone who turns out to be her husband. Mr. Linderman turns out to be an illusion produced by Parkman's Dad who is working for Mr. Petrelli. Parkman's Dad tells Daphne to fetch Parkman and bring him into their plans. Looks like a Father and son reunion is coming up. It's then revealed (and this is the Big One) that Mr. Petrelli is orchestrating the whole thing from a hospital bed. He talks to Parkman's Dad through telepathy because he's hooked up to a breathing machine. In the preview for next week's episode Mr. Petrelli is off the breathing machine and walking around, so he either makes the worlds most conveniently timed recovery or it's another illusion brought to us by Parkman's Dad. Unfortunately we'll have to wait and actually watch next week's episode to know for sure.

Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez

Starpulse contributing writer