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Clunky 'Heroes' Is Going Nowhere Fast

October 7th, 2008 11:23am EDT
HeroesThis week's episode of "Heroes" was hard to love. Either expectations were too high or this plot was too thick to satisfy a fickle palette. Overall, this one left a sticky residue and not just from Suresh's gooey fingertips.

Chubby American Parkman takes a drug, puts on some headphones and dreams about a future in which he marries Daphne, the speedster, adopts Molly (the little girl who can pinpoint any person in the world if she concentrates on them) and has a baby naturally with his wife.

Suresh has increasing negative side effects, including more scales and sticky slime coming from his hands. He hears a fight coming from another apartment and decides to investigate, which leads him to decide to beat up his neighbor who was busy beating his wife.

Tracy goes to visit the German (of course) scientist who created her abilities. He reveals that she has two more identical sisters, Niki and Barbara. Tracy demands that he take her powers, away but he can't. He also can't remember the name of the company or any useful information because they made him forget, alluding to the Haitian. Tracy gets mad and almost freezes the scientist to death but backs off at the last second. Apparently she attended the same school to learn how to control her powers in two episodes that Maya did. It's really too bad she can't help Suresh enroll.

Future Peter zaps Present Peter four years into the future where everyone has abilities. They can buy them or steal them. All the new super people cause the end of the world. Future Peter says he was misrepresented. He's not an extremist. He was just trying to save the world, again.

HeroesPresent Peter wants to talk to Nathan, Claire or Suresh. Future Peter says they're not who he thinks they are, that some people were born with abilities and others were made. This difference caused a riff and people chose sides. We're starting to get a clearer picture of where this season is going. And then Evil, Bitter, Dark Claire shoots Future Peter and kills him. Present Peter runs and escapes her blast of bullets.

Daphne, with a slightly longer bob, and the bad guy from the bank job meet with Evil Claire in the morgue to discuss using Molly to track Present Peter.

Meanwhile Hiro and Ando are trapped in a cell on Level Two in present day, it all starts to get a little confusing and a little tedious here. Hiro and Ando continue their bickering over the fact that Future Ando kills Future Hiro.

Nathan has to pick out an historical desk. He chooses Robert Kennedy's to sit behind as New York's new Jr. Senator. He continues his conversation with Linderman, who no one else can see. Linderman reveals that Nathan will become President of The United States of America in the future. Nathan shrugs this idea off. Linderman says, "The greater the fall the grander the ascension. Isn't that what you've always wanted? Trust me, this is the path to salvation." To which Nathan answers, "It's not my path, not if you're leading the way."

Maya cleans Suresh's apartment, comments that he doesn't look well and tries to get him to go out and get some fresh air with her. He freaks out on her and she tries to leave, but he begs her to stay and says he's just tired because he's trying to find the answers for her. She leaves anyway. He is transforming, and he thinks his aggression is connected to it. As he lays his recorder on a table it becomes covered in cobwebs, and we are suddenly in the future again. Now Present Peter is talking to Suresh who is in a hooded sweatshirt and skulking in the dark revealing only scaly hands and the use of left over sound effects from "Aliens." Present Peter uses his abilities to pry out Sylar's location from Suresh's brain and zaps himself out of there while Suresh calls after him, "Don't go." Seems like everyone leaves the lonely future Suresh. It might have something to do with his aggression, oh wait, he already put that obvious connection together earlier.

So then Present Peter literally pops into the Bennet house where Sylar (call me Gabriel) now lives with his son Noah. Wait; haven't I heard that name before? Oh, that's right - it's HRG's first name. So Sylar names his son after his former arch nemesis. I bet something unexpected happens to make them best friends. Like after becoming partners they save each others lives so many times they bond and then HRG teaches Sylar how to control his powers and then Present Peter shows up four years later to eat waffles.

But before they can, Sylar gives his power to Present Peter and puts the hunger in him and then the "bad" guys show up and take little Noah hostage. So they all fight and Present Peter kicks Daphne through a wall causing the guy from the bank job, Knox, to let go of little Noah. Sylar tells little Noah to run and hide but he doesn't go far enough. Knox, whose only power is to get stronger as people become more fearful, fights with Sylar. Little Noah hides between a bar stool and the kitchen counter so when Knox feeds off of his fear and throws his Dad into that same wall he crushes little Noah and kills him.

Now this is where loyalties start switching and people feel sorry for a villain who was trying to live a straight life for his son. And like any good addict he was keeping everything under control until his old element came crashing into his life. Little Noah is killed and Sylar loses it. He goes nuclear and blows up all of Costa Verde, killing 200,000 people including Knox, Daphne and himself.

Hiro and Ando work out their lover's quarrel and work together to try and escape but the Haitian shows up to ruin their plans.

Tracy tries to confess but freezes the phone instead.

Present Suresh fails miserably. He cannot reverse the effects for himself or Maya. Then the neighbor shows up who was beating his girl and tries to pick another fight with Suresh, instead Suresh pulls him into his apartment, and we can only guess how he eats him or experiments on him.

Tracy tries to quit on Nathan. Linderman tells Nathan he has to trust him and help Tracy. So Nathan saves Tracy from killing herself. She reveals her power to him, they kiss and then we flash four years into the future where she's addressed as The First Lady. Now where the heck did his first wife and kids go? The last time we saw Heidi she was healed by Linderman, now she's MIA and Nathan is falling for Tracy, who by the way looks exactly like Niki, who he already slept with.

Then Future, Evil Claire starts torturing Present Peter in order to punish him for killing all those people in Costa Verde. Future Nathan shows up and talks to Present Peter alone. He releases Peter, which proves to be a very bad idea because Peter uses his new power against his own brother and starts to saw Nathan's head off.

It seems that every time Peter acts in haste he makes things worse. Maybe he should find the Irish girl he abandoned and take a vacation to think things over for a little while before he kills again.

Instead Peter pops in on Sylar in present day where he confirms they are indeed brothers.

Parkman wakes from his nightmare after Daphne dies in his arms; she couldn't run fast enough to escape the blast. Her back is burned badly in a gruesome image right from the painting of the future Usutu made. After waking, Usutu tells Parkman to follow his Totem animal in order to know his future. Parkman chooses a tortoise. Hopefully he'll bump into Peter before they're mortal enemies and help Peter to slow down and do some yoga.

In the last twist of an otherwise hard to follow and tedious episode Hiro and Ando talk with Angela Petrelli about the stolen formula and the only key to getting it back. Then they dig up Adam Monroe. File this one in the "saw it coming a mile away" drawer and try to forget this episode every happened. It felt like a clunky excuse for exposition that went nowhere from start to finish.

Erin MacMillan-Ramirez
Story by Erin MacMillan-Ramirez

Starpulse contributing writer