Instead of a "Who Done It" murder mystery, this week's episode of Gossip Girl seemed more like a "Who's Done Who" mystery - and everyone had the chance to play along.

Beginning with Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) and Dan Humphrey's (Penn Badgley) joyous sexual reunion (or in this case, morning disillusion) on the Hampton beach, the sex-capades of Gossip Girl were in full swing. Scantily clad Serena was confused if she and Dan should actually be back together, claiming that they broke up "for a reason."

Fellow viewers will hopefully recall that at the end of last season Serena and Dan, pretty much the show's very own Ross-Rachel couple (nerdy guy meets beautiful girl), broke up because of a misunderstanding. Serena lied about sleeping with some guy, and Dan broke up with her and her drama-filled lifestyle only to later be seduced by Michelle Trachtenberg's May sweeps stunt, causing Serena to then be upset with him. Oh, the tangled webs they weave.

Regardless, Serena left the beach saying she and Dan needed time to think about their problems. All this thinking included very poor attempts at staged sexuality. Serena "accidentally" fell into Dan's lap (slow motion style) on the jitney ride home, and the only food she could pull out for a snack was a seductively chocolate-covered strawberry.

Leaving Serena and Dan to their "thinking," we head across town to find the newest love triangle between Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester), Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) and new-arrival Lord Marcus (Patrick Heusinger). Blair's efforts to secure a future with her Lord found her in a bit of a bind. She was going to have to impress his stepmother, the Duchess Catherine (Madchen Amick), which Marcus said had never been done before.

In a failed attempt, Blair threw a party with classical music and even invited Dan to talk soccer - or football as the Brits call it. Unfortunately for Blair and her party, Chuck was, of course, up to no good. After befriending the Lord through a rousing game of racquetball he secured not only Marcus' cell number, but also the home phone number to call the Duchess herself and "warn" her about Blair and her shortcomings. This brought an uninvited Chuck and an even more unsuspected Duchess Catherine to Blair's end of summer bash.

After unknowingly insulting her botox-filled face, Blair felt the need to gravel…that is until she walked in on Duchess Catherine and her ex, Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford), hardcore making out. Lord Marcus saw none of this drama, but lucky for Blair his stepmother would get to know the real her - the blackmailing, conniving, manipulating bitch that she is - and pretend to love her…for Marcus' sake and to keep the secret affair between her and Nate quiet for a little while longer .

Meanwhile, Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle), still not looking old enough to have high school aged children, returned to New York from his summer rock star tour and was only greeted by Dan's old friend Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) at a new little coffee shop. Vanessa served as major confidant in the episode providing support to not only Rufus who was reluctant to come back to parenthood, but also to Nate when he confided in her about his family's financial trouble - caused by his father skipping town at the end of last season. Don't worry about Nate though; his new step-milf will be providing him all the money he needs to take care of him and his mother.

So to clear everything up, Blair is dating Lord Marcus, whose stepmother is sleeping with Nate. Nate slept with both Blair and Serena in the past, but now Serena is dating Dan, whose friend Vanessa is probably hoping to sleep with Nate but doesn't know about the step-duchess standing in her way. Chuck, who can't seem to get over his infatuation with Blair after sleeping with her, wants to break up her and the Lord so he can get in her pants once again. But Chuck is developing a bromance with Marcus to try and hide his true feelings for Blair so he can sabotage her relationship so she can't sleep with Lord Marcus anymore. Make sense? Best-case scenario, Nate will become Blair's father-in-law - hands down best line of the night - oh to be young and in love; welcome back Gossip Girl.

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Story by Beth Wickman

Starpulse contributing writer