This week on "Dancing With The Stars
" there is the usual introduction fluff. Each couple has their own dance and some sort of country dance so let's not waste time and jump right in then, shall we? Oh, and Samantha is looking beautiful as usual.
Jason and Edyta- The cha cha
We've got Jason near the top of the dancing heap, and this week Edyta takes Jason to hip-hop school where I wanted to go for summer camp but alas, space camp was where I ended up. Jason is set to show Len he can dance. Starting with a jump off the stairs Jason has embraced his dancing destiny and is keeping up with Edyta in terms of moving around the floor. No more standing around for this football player. I think he may just be chasing after Edyta whose costume looks like bubble gum thrown on half her arm and a bikini. Len said it was full-on content and it made him smile, Bruno said Jason was flamboyant but missed some of the timing, Carrie Ann said there was still awkwardness and should be dancing bigger.
Carrie Ann: 8
Total of 24
Shannon and Derek- The rumba
Rumor has it they're a couple, which makes me smile and jealous as all get out. Derek got her flowers because of their score last week. They go to relax by hula-hooping, and Derek gets shirtless and they wrestle during sunset. I am really not making this up, we're talking romance novel here! They dance to "True Colors," and this has become really different to watch. Quite a romantic dance they have going on right now, not very exciting, but they probably don't want Derek to break his neck again. Bruno said the romantic interplay works, Carrie Ann said Shannon has to go beyond her potential, and Len said they're like a rash and was generally pleased. Samantha called them out on their romance, and they just keep trying to deny it.
Carrie Ann: 8
Total of 24
Marlee and Fabian- The mambo
Marlee messed up a bit last week, but Fabian is the Mambo King so she will be fine. She invited Henry Winkler
to help get her back in the right state of mind; The Fonz never comes to give me advice. Lots of shaking in the dance, which I've learned is a good thing, but I think Marlee is starting to show her weakness. She is still fantastic, but there hasn't been much growth from her. Carrie Ann said it looked like a struggle, Len said she did a great job but it looked uncomfortable, Bruno said the timing was off.
Carrie Ann: 7
Total of 21
Cristian and Cheryl- The foxtrot
Bottom two last week, and I'm not going to say it was because of his dancing. I'm thinking it's the viewers who are putting them there. Cheryl has Cristian in a pool and they're both really starting to get on my nerves, like they want us to think they have chemistry when it is obvious they don't. The foxtrot is an elegant dance, which means it looks like a classic musical from the 40s that at least is more appealing than their past dances. They do really well as usual, but they just have to get past the overbearing personality of one half of the duo. Len and Bruno both said he is at his best but Bruno made a point of his spectacular footwork, Carrie Ann said they flew into the land of refinement. Mark my words, the judges are putting them in the bottom two, we are.
Carrie Ann: 9
Total of 27
Marissa and Tony- The waltz
Marissa and her huge hair are back in the game. Tony has Marissa go to an aerial arts class to help her to borch after she spins around during their dance. Trying not to get annoyed by her bubbly personality, but it is kind of hard. They get the award for worst singer whose song they have to dance through. Slower dances work well for Marissa, and she even got to spin on the floor, just like a princess. Bruno said she is light and frothy and liked the attempts and difficult moves, Carrie Ann is Marissa's biggest fan, and Len loved her confidence.
Carrie Ann: 9
Total of 26
Kristi and Mark- The jive
invited Kristi and mark to perform at his charity event, which they have time to do because they're going to be getting all tens. Kristi tries to make her club feet a disability, which would have worked had she not been an Olympic gold medalist. Good try on the modesty, Kristi. They're dressed like uber-glamorous kids from the 50s and were flawless. If she doesn't win then there is something wrong with the world. Carrie Ann gave them a standing ovation and said it was the best dance this season of anyone, Len said it was a bull fight and absolutely great, Bruno said it was top notch high definition entertainment. She sure did overcome those club feet.
Carrie Ann: 10
Total of 30 (if you were looking closely, Cheryl is not happy in the background of the shot!)
Mario and Karina- The rumba
Mario is ready to take Mario to the floor, the dance floor! He misses his family so he calls them on the phone and his brother calls him Poopie and says that Len is bad. Mario totally sings along to the music while he dances. Another slower, sexier dance for these two, but Karina was doing most of the dancing while Mario was doing that standing around the judges had previously criticized Jason for. Len said it was a good job and referred to their dancing as a strumpet and a gigolo, Bruno said it was fabulous and something they had to drop the sound for, Carrie Ann said it was better than sex, but there was a lift which will hurt them.
Carrie Ann: 9
Total of 28
Country Line Dancing Extravaganza
Oh wow, the stars have to be on the phone with their agents after being forced to be cops and outlaws in a rootin' tootin' dance session. They're all having fun though and get to do lifts and are going insane with their bag of tricks. Sure the rehearsal was more fun than cow tipping, but will the actual routine be as fun for us to watch? Short answer is no. I've seen line dancing live, and this lives up to just how nonsensical it can be. I can imagine Len having a stroke as they all but kill and ballroom dancing. Just think cartwheels and jumping on each other, that's pretty much the gist of the last five minutes. Bruno said it wasn't in perfect sync, Carrie Ann said it was a bit crazy out there, and Len said it was fun and liked the lifts, now he tries to be nice.
I'm placing money on Cristian and Cheryl or Marlee and Fabian going home tonight. We shall see!
Story by Dan Chruscinski
Starpulse contributing writer