Alright everybody, let's get naked! No wait, put your shirt back on, nobody wants to see that. I'm sorry I must have confused you. The "everybody" I was referring to are celebrities. That's right, it's time those camera-shy celebs shed more than their weight.
We're talking nude scenes, and here is my list for the "Top Ten Celebrities Who Should Do Nude Scenes." Oh, and they're not in any particular order. How do you rank something as sacred as getting paid to take your clothes off?
Raise your hand if you don't want to see Alba do a nude scene. Yeah, I can see maybe one hand raised. I'm sorry if you disagree, but Alba is quite frankly the sexiest woman in America. Sadly, the chances of her dropping the towel in a film are slim to none, so we may have to just dream of what that day would mean for growing boys across the country.
One day I will make a list that doesn't include him, until that day get used to seeing Marsden's name. Doing research for this article I came across quite a few pics of the actor from his modeling days. I figure if he's willing to model in next to nothing then perhaps he'd act in even less. I think he'd be the perfect candidate for the role of a married man seduced by some woman in a bar. This would lead to plenty of sex with lots of Marsden focused nudity. I'm not sure who the audience for the movie would be, probably five or six people.
Pure eye candy, in a small package. I recently saw Longoria on that new "Pop Fiction" show, and frankly she annoys me to no end. On the other hand, I watch her in Desperate Housewives
and I know I'm not the only male in America who would like to see her in a bit less than her sexy lingerie. Ok, suddenly I feel really sleazy. Moving on.
I'm only listing one of the Winchester brothers from "Supernatural
" on here, but they both could easily find a home in some direct-to-DVD horror flick with random male nudity. We're not exactly expecting Ackles to be getting nude for the sake of art, but rather he's got it, so he might as well flaunt it. We see enough of Tom Welling's
butt on Smallville
, maybe Supernatural should follow suit.
Really, do I need to say anything about this choice? Like Alba above, Biel could probably command an extra million dollars just for hinting that she might be up for nudity in her next role. Just as long as she keeps it tasteful, you know, like the Maxim
photo shoots she has participated in.
I think way more on the women of Private Practice
should be making an appointment (get it?) with Diggs. With a broadway background, I think Taye should make his nude debut in some small play that picks up rave reviews for his talent. It worked for Daniel Radcliffe
, and this time it would be about 100 times less creepy to think about.
Yes, I'm a Battlestar Galactica
freak, and yes I'm aware that there are pictures floating around of Helfer wearing little more than what the Cyclon God gave her. Still though, I think there would be no better send off to the beloved show than to see Number Six step out of the network censor-imposed shadows and show us just how perfect her body is. Oh, and I won't forget that she plays several different characters. But that much Helfer nudity would cause every geek in America to simply explode.
He spent most of the second season of Heroes
shirtless, but I bet everyone wonders what he's packing further south. Perhaps he should seek some film work as a free spirited guy who enjoys skinny dipping. He can still have his "Heroes" powers if he'd like. On second thought, there are very few cast members from "Heroes" that I wouldn't mind seeing do the full monty. Well, probably not Greg Grunberg
. Sorry dude.
She's been showing in the the Tyler Perry
movies recently, but I remember seeing her on Boston Legal
and wishing I had teachers like her. Though I'm sure she wouldn't want a student like me. She was given a background role as the fourth Dreamgirl
in the movie of the same name, but perhaps her star would rise if you was given the right role. Perhaps an Oscar-nominated performance as an attractive college professor who falls for one of her shy, yet attractive students, perhaps played by me.
The holy grail of male nudity. Sure, you can google his paparazzi photos or see the side of his ass in Troy
, but the full Pitt is currently only available to Ms. Jolie. We've got to catch him fast though because he is getting older, and one day he won't have the body every woman dreams of. Who am I kidding? He'll probably look like that in his 80s. Can you say octogenarian nudity?
Agree? Disagree? Have you seen these actors nude in a movie before? Then leave a comment below or send the DVDs directly to me for, ahem, research purposes.
Story by Dan Chruscinski
Starpulse contributing writer