Today is the first day of spring. The temperature is rising, birds are singing, and the excuse that you needed the extra weight for winter padding is becoming less believable. These signs point to the change of seasons, and more importantly, the coming of spring.
So while some people are planting flowers or taking walks around their neighborhoods, I'm focusing on one thing, sex. Well maybe not strictly sex, but come on, it has been a long winter. So if I were to have a spring fling of sorts, it would obviously have to be with a celebrity. Hmm, but who would I choose?
Top 3 Gals
If she isn't conquering the big screen, Union can be found guest starring on several hit shows with Ugly Betty
being a nice pre-strike highlight. Hopefully she is sticking around because I've had a crush on her since Bring it On
, which while I own it on DVD, I never watch it, at least not more than once a week. Gabrielle needs to get her own show, and I'll guest star as the wacky neighbor she is destined to fall in love with.
Pre-nose, post-nose, who cares. Tisdale has found the perfect balance between being a diva in the High School Musical
movies and being an above-average singer and actress. Yeah, I bought her album, but it was in the self check-out lane of Target so nobody saw me. She's probably the closest to my age of all the people on this list, so maybe I have a shot with her. What are you laughing at?
The more I watch this oddly named actress in How I Met Your Mother
, the more I wish her and Ted hooked up for good. Of course, in my mind I play Ted and Alyson Hannigan
plays Willow, Lilly's twin sister. Joss Whedon
joked Smulders was his top choice to play Wonder Woman, and if that had happened I think I would have died of a very happy aneurism.
Top 3 Guys
This guy says whatever is on his mind, no matter how it makes him or his past co-stars look, and I love it! Oh, and have you seen the photo shoot he and Summer Glau
did for "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
"? He is one pretty ass John Connor. I imagine he'll talk smack about me after I dump him, but it'd be worth it.
A surfer and a receptionist. Is there anything this Private Practice
star can't do? Hell, he even landed Veronica Mars
, albeit for a very short time. Maybe I can get some pointers from him, or I could probably sit in the reception area with Kate Walsh
and watch him come back from his surfing lunches. Can you tell I've only seen the pilot for "Private Practice"? Still, eye candy doesn't need to talk.
I have no desire to see 10,000 B.C.
, but if I did it would be to marvel at Strait who I assume will just be kicking ass for 90 minutes. Oh, and for those who think this spring fling wouldn't work, rent The Covenant
, there was more homoeroticism in that movie than the entire fifth season of Angel
. Being a caveman-witch hybrid wouldn't hurt, in fact that gives me an idea for a new movie.
So there it is, my top three guys and girls to have a spring fling with. Am I missing anyone? Do I have a chance with any of them? Should I be contacting my lawyers about incoming restraining orders? Post your comments below!
Story by Dan Chruscinski
Starpulse contributing writer