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Greatest 'South Park' Episodes

March 12th, 2008 11:06am EDT
South ParkIt's that time again…A new season of South Park is on the way. Yes, the four little boys from South Park have been offending, swearing, making us all think and making us all laugh for 12 years. We walked down memory lane, went through all the seasons and picked some of our favorite episode from each season (This wasn't as easy as it sounds since there were a couple of seasons that had 4 or 5 really good episodes). Here are our picks of the greatest "South Park" episodes:

BabsSeason 1:
Mecha Streisand (Episode 12)


Kyle's discovery at an archaeological dig catches the attention of Barbra Streisand. In her attempt to take over the world, Richard Martin, Sidney Potier, and Robert Smith show up to help save South Park from the wrath of Mecha Streisand.

Many may ponder, "Why Barbra?" She was great in Yentl and ok as Fanny Bryce in Funny Girl. Why rip on her so much? Others ask why; we ask, why not?

Chef AidSeason 2:
Chef Aid (Episode 14)


Chef is getting sued by capitalist records and Johnny Cochran is the only attorney that can get him off. But he needs 2 million dollars to pay the legal bill. Chef decides to sell his body to every woman in South Park but comes up short. The boys get together and gather all of Chef's old music pals from his Capitalist records days (which include Elton John and Rick James) to put on a concert to raise the money.

If you haven't already, pick up the actual Chef Aid album. Elton John, Primus, DVDA, Wyclef Jean and others are featured.

Season 3:
Hooked on Monkey Phonics (Episode 13)

In preparation for the South Park spelling bee, Cartman's mom buys Hooked on Monkey Phonics, complete with a live drum-playing monkey. Cartman proves disastrous at the spelling bee, leaving Kyle and two home schooled siblings to claim top honors. Kyle is intrigued by Rebecca, the home schooled girl and her brother is intrigued by other public school kids.

The scenes between Kyle and Rebecca are absolutely adorable and hilarious. Check out the scenes where he serenades Rebecca from her window and when they first kiss.

CartmanSeason 4:
Cartman Joins NAMBLA (Episode 6)

Cartman decides that Stan, Kyle and Kenny are too immature to hang out with. He goes online, chats with older men, and winds up as the poster boy for NAMBLA (The North American Man Boy Love Association). Meanwhile, Kenny's mom becomes pregnant and his dad accidentally drinks a mixture of vodka, chocolate and an entire bottle of baby-be-gone pills in an attempt by Kenny to not be second to the little on the way.

The closing of this episode is classic. The members of NAMBLA state that man-boy love is found throughout history and that they being discriminated against because of their preference. Stan fires back: "We believe in equality and all that gay stuff. But dude, fu*k you!"

Season 5:
Scott Tenorman Must Die (Episode 1)

An older kid named Scott Tenorman cheats Cartman out of 16 dollars and 12 cents. He tries to rally up the other kids to help train a pony to bite of Scott Tenorman's penis, but none are interested. In his research, Cartman discovers that Scott likes Radiohead, organizes a Chili con Carnival and reveals his plan that leads Scott into eating a bowl of chili with his ground up parents in it.

Gasping is expected. But recognizing to never mess with Cartman would be a wise conclusion to come to. This episode crowns Cartman as the most evil, calculating kid ever.

Scott Tenorman Must Die

Free HatSeason 6: Tie
Free Hat (Episode 9)

The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (Episode 13)

Yes, we cheated. We could not bring myself to choose between these two. In Free Hat, after seeing the "new and improved, digitally enhanced" Star Wars movie, the boys start a club to keep classic movies from their directors. In the Lord of the Rings parody, Stan's parents accidentally leave Butters to watch a porn tape instead of Lord of the Rings. The boys come by and take the tape away, leaving Butters in a Gollum state of mind, constantly trying to be reunited with his "precious" video tape.

Free Hat hit home for me. It's a crazy world we live in when our most beloved films could be sabotaged by the very directors that created them. And The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers had me rolling around on the floor thanks to Butters performance, making him my favorite character.

Season 7:
Fatt Butt and Pancake Head (Episode 5)

Cartman's hand becomes Jennifer Lopez as makes her first appearance at the Latinos in the Arts presentation. Ms. Lopez even lands a record deal and steals the career and love interest of the real Jennifer Lopez.

This came out during the height of the Bennifer craze and turned it upside down. But, then again, South Park does that better than anybody else.

Pancake Head

Critter ChristmasSeason 8:
Woodland Critter Christmas (Episode 14)

To make this short and sweet, Stan comes across cute little Woodland Critters and agrees to save them from the local mountain lion. The critters turn out to be followers of Satan that have blood orgies in the forest and are trying to give birth to an the anti-Christ. And yes, this is a Christmas special.

Enough said.

Season 9:
Trapped in the Closet (Episode 12)

While being administered a personality test by the Church of Scientology, Stan's test results are off the charts. The church now believes that he is reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard and invites Stan to lead the Church.

This episode tops them all in terms of infamy. Tom Cruise and Viacom gets involved. Tom Cruise was depicted in the episode as being trapped in the closet just as the marketing campaign for Mission Impossible III was gaining speed. The episode was pulled but was eventually aired due to all the negative press.

Trapped in the Closet

Make Love, Not WarcraftSeason 10:
Make Love, Not Warcraft (Episode 8)

All the neighborhood kids are into World of Warcraft; However, their problem lies in this one super strong player that kills everyone, not letting other players complete levels or get any stronger. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny band together to take on the unbeatable foe. They train on a diet of junk food, energy drinks and three hours of sleep.

We all know someone like this who is scarily involved in some online game. They're fun, but it makes our boys go from cute to bloated and pimply faced.

Season 11:
Imaginationland Trilogy (Season 11, Episodes 10-12)

The government is depending on Stan and Kyle to find a portal into Imaginationland. Terrorists have destroyed the wall that separates the good imaginary characters from the bad ones. Meanwhile, Cartman is hell bent to make sure that Kyle owns up to a bet they had made. Also, keep an eye out for Al Gore.

Put it this way: This trilogy was so good, there is an unrated, full length director's cut on its way to your local DVD store, complete with Director's commentary. Sweet.

South Park airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.

Story by Destiny Lopez
Starpulse.com contributing writer