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'Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew': One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

March 3rd, 2008 10:49am EST
ChynaWithout The Office or 30 Rock to get me through these cold Thursday nights, I’ve had to turn to VHI to fill my TV watching needs (because God forbid I actually, you know, pick up a book or something). Thankfully they have put the kibosh on "I Love the 80's" reruns. I like that show just as much as the next person, but how many times can I see Lea Thompson wax nostalgic about Hyper Color t-shirts? (Answer: 11).

Now, instead of filling the air waves with the comedic stylings of Rick Springfield, comically riffing on Ms. Pac Man, we get celebrities in rehab! Except they aren’t exactly celebrities, so why I am watching this? Some chick who did not win American Idol is on it (Jessica Sierra), as is some girl who was on "Family Matters." Brigitte Nielsen, while oddly delightful, is only famous of late for being in other VHI shows. Daniel Baldwin seems to be the most famous cast member, despite the fact that I have no recollection of him ever being in anything except "Striking Distance," and yet a quick trip over to IMDB shows that he wasn’t even in that.

Despite the lack of bona fide celebrities, the show is oddly compelling... I’m not sure what it says about me when I can’t seem to turn away from a detoxing, surly Kenickie doing yoga. And how about that Dr. Drew in a black t-shirt, am I right, ladies?

What I find most interesting is the presence of Joanie Laurer, otherwise known as Chyna Doll. What is really interesting about her is that apparently she is not addicted to anything. Not booze and not drugs. While this was news to anyone who saw her on VHI’s "Surreal Life," when she often stayed up until 4 o’clock in the morning having intense conversations with a basketball only to awaken in the same bed as the aforementioned Ms. Nielson, this was really news to Dr. Drew, who promptly staged an intervention to figure out what in the hell she was doing there. As it turns out, Chyna is addicted to being on VH1’s reality shows. Ah, the mystery has been solved! I look forward to future sessions with Dr. Drew, where he dramatically tries to get Chyna to fend off her demons…offers from "Celebrity Apprentice" and "Dancing with the Stars."

By Christina Sussman
Starpulse.com Contributing Writer