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Check Under Your Bed & In Your Pillowcase: Evil Little Film Creatures

February 27th, 2008 1:50pm EST
CrittersScary movies serve their purpose, don’t they? Jason Voorhees has been terrifying people for decades now and so have Freddy Krueger and a vast multitude of other larger-than-life monsters. But many are a little more freaked out by the little guys. You know, the things that could crawl into your bed or hide in your hampers. The ankle biters on this list could get you when you least suspect it.

Gremlins
These guys may have known how to have a good time but they certainly got rowdy, didn’t they? Spawned from slimy cocoons if the explicit rules for taking care of Mogwai are not adhered to, Gremlins have an almost limitless desire for mayhem. After I saw this movie the first time as a kid, I couldn’t sleep for weeks and I was always checking under my bed for them. What made these guys so fearsome were their adaptability and their mechanical sense. They could make use of anything they got their hands on - snowplows in the first movie and an array of pharmaceutical goodies in the second movie. You never knew which direction these little green monsters were coming from.



Critters and Munchies
The subjects of two mostly forgotten cheesy horror movies, these two diminutive aliens were very different from each other. The Munchies preferred scantily clad women and alcohol. They killed, and sure they enjoyed it, but there was an artistic focus with their killings. The Critters were way more bloodthirsty and evil. Both were interstellar animals with a taste for human flesh and bounty hunters hot on their trails. They were small enough to hide where they could only be found by searching fingers under a bed or by the feet of someone just out of the shower. These little guys were always in the last place you looked.



The Leprechaun
If you thought Leprechauns were jolly little souls, going on about their pots of gold and their lucky charms, this fellow took care of all those antiquated ideas. A killer through and through, this guy always produced an impressive body count, whether it was in the country, the ghetto, or eventually space. The only way to dispatch him was with a four-leaf clover, which always seemed to pop up when the lead actor needed one. But before that point, the Leprechaun was able to torment with hatchets, arrows, guns or a pint glass.



Alf
Okay, he's from a TV show not a film, but something about Alf always freaked me out. I know how he was portrayed. He was a funny guy, told some jokes, solved some problems for the kids. We knew about his strange tasted for cats, and being that he wasn’t from Earth he even got a pass on that whole thing. I think he had some more skeletons in his closet. So he liked to eat cats, but would that mean he wouldn’t also like to eat maybe a baby dressed as a cat? I don’t think he would care, and that is a problem…for babies and for cats. Just saying.



Evil Puppets
There have been evil puppets in many movies and for this list I couldn’t possibly just focus on one. This could be about Chucky from Child’s Play or the Puppetmaster puppets or gang of puppets from Dead Silence, which just goes to show just how many of them there are. Seem popular? I don’t know why either. They’re just plain freaky, crawling around everywhere with their painted-on smiles and cute little clothes. It makes it hard to imagine playing with any of these guys when you were kids. In retrospect they just seem evil, but is that a product of the movies we watch or are they inherently evil? Who knows, they’re just like clowns, don’t let me get started about clowns.



Story by Larry Grodsky
Starpulse contributing writer