At one point during the "Dance War" finale, I raised my hands to the heavens and yelled, "Enough!" If I'd known that I'd have to watch 75 minutes of Bruno and Carrie Ann talk about things I'd already seen, I would have just switched over to Tyra Banks's stronghold on MTV and watched another episode of "America's Next Top Model." That was not in the stars, however, and it was two full hours of fluff filler, montages, sub par performances, and Carrie Ann and Bruno overload for this intrepid "Dance War" reviewer.

"Dance War" crowned its winning team, but it wasn't an easy jaunt to the finish. Before getting to the final moment, where one team was given a recording contract and turned into a full fledged pop group, we were forced to endure some out there, even by "Dance War" standards, moments.

First up, Drew Lachey inexplicably donned a tux and sang, "Steppin' Out With My Baby" with the "Dance War" contestants. I had my fingers crossed, hoping he would sing, "Gimme One More Night (Una Noche)," but alas, no such luck.

Then Kenny Mane, Jerry Rice, Lisa Rinna (and Lisa Rinna's lips) invaded the screen and forced us to watch a mock-up of ESPN's "Sports Center," now labeled in honor of the upcoming Dancing With the Stars season, "Dance Center." Like they were calling a college draft, Mane and Co. ticked off names for the upcoming season of DWTS. This was the most entertaining portion of the night for it injected some humor into an otherwise uptight show. There were some gems from Kenny Mane, such as when he, referring to Marlee Matlin, said, "One thing she doesn't have to listen to - Bruno." I don't know if the "get it, she's deaf" joke was in good taste, but I'll take what I can get.

When Cristian de la Fuente, a latin heartthrob was announced, Mane claimed his profession was "being good looking." Mane also said this with an oompah loompah face tan and sparkly turquoise eyeshadow, an homage to the Tammy Faye makeup jobs inflicted upon each dancer.

The apoplectic moment of the evening was the debut of each team's original song. Team Bruno came out with "Falling in Love," a middling, mid-tempo snoozer that did nothing to showcase the group's talents. Team Carrie Ann received a much better track, "Come Wit' It," that at least had some tempo changes, and a catchy beat. Unfair from the start, the original song portion of the evening was like having one team dance to "Happy Birthday" and the other to "Umbrella." I think we know which would produce better results.

As the final seconds ticked down, it looked like Team Carrie Ann was two stepping towards victory. America, however, had other plans. I'm not sure how, but Team Bruno emerged the victor, earning a recording contract for its remaining foursome and sending Team Carrie Ann packing to theme parks around America. What would have been a better finale was perhaps assembling the top five vote getters in total and turning that into a "Dance War" victory group. Oh well. It's done, it's over, and I think Carrie Ann and Bruno are happy they didn't leave their day jobs.

Recap by Tiffany Bagster
Starpulse contributing writer