Ok, let's decide which was worse on the last episode of "Cashmere Mafia
": the fact that Mia (Lucy Liu
) made out with a "manny" who looks like a high school student, or the weirdness of Caitlin's (Bonnie Somerville
) girlfriend telling her that she's pregnant? Or maybe it's the simple boringness of the entire episode. I just can't pick; they all make me either want to yawn or make my "ew, gross" face.
Zoe (Frances O'Connor
) and Eric's (Julian Ovenden
) whole part of this show is SO boring, it's ridiculous. The only thing they seem to be able to come up with for these two is a tug-of-war between who will have the temptation of a marital affair. First it was their next-door neighbor who seduced Eric over dinner and hired him to design her new kitchen. Now it's Zoe's co-worker, who she refers to as her "work husband," flying into New York and complimenting her on the shape of her legs. Instead of celebrating a 10-year anniversary with her husband, Zoe decides to go with her "work husband" to the Hamptons and stay over night in a hotel in order to close a deal. She is confident that she was asked to come on this trip in order to be seduced, and she agrees to go to dinner with the guy. Then, at the last minute, she changes her mind and drives back to New York to see Eric for their anniversary. I'm yawning just having to type out this boring mess. Long story short: she and Eric meet in the Hamptons and spend an anniversary night in a hotel. Aren't you just quivering with excitement to see where this will lead?? Good grief.
Juliet (Miranda Otto
) and Davis aren't much better than the above-mentioned cliché couple. Last week she kicked him out of the house so he's staying in a hotel. This week she calls him to her office to discuss an inappropriate picture of their daughter, Emily, that was discovered on the internet. The daughter hates the school she's attending so this was a cry for help. Davis wants her to stay at the school, and Juliet believes that she should be able to go to boarding school if that's what she wants. Juliet asks Emily to live with her, and Emily says she'll think about it. Meanwhile, Juliet decides that she needs to hire a divorce lawyer so that Davis cannot run off with all of their joint money, and Zoe refers her to a lawyer friend of the family. Ready for the big TV twist of the year? All four members of the "Cashmere Mafia" show up at the lawyer's office ready to witness her divorce and...Davis has already retained the same lawyer! There is no way anyone saw that coming, seriously!
Mia is still dating the handsome neurosurgeon, so he's the silver lining for me during the show each week. However, Zoe and Eric have hired a new "manny" (male nanny in case you didn't catch that), and he's a photographer. Mia agrees to look at some of his work, and by the end of the show they're caught making out in Zoe's house! It's bad enough that I might be facing the end of the handsome neurosurgeon, but having to watch Mia suck face with a bad actor who looks like he's in high school is downright disturbing! Seeing both of their faces smeared with red lipstick, I think my stomach lurched a little, no joke.
And dear, poor, confused Caitlin...which way will she swing this week? She and Alicia attend a dinner party, thrown by Zoe, and Alicia has to go lie down in the middle of it. When Caitlin goes to check on her, Alicia takes her hand and calmly tells her that she's pregnant. It was way strange to see a woman take the news that her partner was pregnant. I can't put my finger on why, but it was weird. Caitlin tells her "congratulations," and the next day Sam shows up at her office. (He's the guy she met at the lesbian bridal shower, remember?) He convinces her to have dinner with him, and they have to rush out of the restaurant in the middle of dinner because Alicia showed up with a friend at the same restaurant. I guess Caitlin drank enough to dull her senses, and she ended up sleeping with Sam. So, the next day Alicia confronts her (they didn't sneak out fast enough it seems), and we get to hear Caitlin lament once again about how she's really trying to figure things out right now. That's getting really old, really fast.
It's pretty bad when I go to my TiVo list hoping that it didn't record something! Unfortunately, it's still functioning the way it should be so I have more episodes to suffer through. I will do my best to be a "glass half full" kind of girl and keep hoping that next week will beat this one.
Story by Amber DiNenna
Starpulse contributing writer